As mentioned in my previous blog, in order to be in a state of mind sane enough to move on emotionally, a face to face encounter with the woman I fell in love with was crucial. Now that I was actively hoping to meet single women as opposed to couples almost exclusively. Where was I to look? I had a good sense of what I was looking for although naturally if the chemistry was right I was prepared to be flexible enough to broaden my horizons. So what qualities was I hoping to find? Above all else, intelligence. It doesn't have to be academic intelligence although it can be a good indicator. A curious, open minded inquiring mind coupled up with emotional intelligence is so important to me. I am prone to get bored and restless quite easily so only a woman with these core qualities can hope to hold my attention. A filthy, open minded, non-judgmental sexual mind would also be important.
Now that my mind was made up I thought to myself how the hell am I going to meet a woman with all of the qualities mentioned above? In the end I opted for a multi pronged approach. Traditional dating sites, swinging and fetish sites.
The traditional dating site/app route just didn't work for me. I saw some profiles that really showed potential but at the back of my mind I kept thinking to myself " the vanilla life just doesn't work for me" perhaps at some point in the future but right now? I also found myself wondering how I would bring up my past if I got close to someone and she wanted to know more about me. I have no interest in keeping secrets. Once upon a time I lead a double life and I have no intention of ever doing that again. There lay my dilemma, I am pretty sure the average woman on the street would freak out if I told her that I stopped counting how many woman I have fucked over the years as a swinger. I stopped counting long ago when I sailed past the number 40.
That left swinging and fetish sites. As a single male primarily identifying himself as a Bull looking for couples. Any single woman venturing across my profiles and blogs would have been forgiven for thinking I had no real interest in them. To be fair that had indeed been the truth for a number of years.
Once I started looking on my most used swinging and fetish sites I quickly discovered the general mood, tone and mindset of the single women I was encountering. On the swinging site although there were obviously exceptions to the rule. The mention of words like emotion, relationship and love almost felt like blasphemy. I am obviously exaggerating to a certain extent but one certainly got the impression that if you admitted to having emotional needs you were revealing some kind of guilty secret. In the sites discussion forums if someone made a posting suggesting that they wanted to date. There would always be at least one irritated response stating that it was not a dating site. However, there would also be encouraging messages from people saying that they met their partner through the site and that they couldn't be happier.
The fetish site I use is different in several ways......
Now that my mind was made up I thought to myself how the hell am I going to meet a woman with all of the qualities mentioned above? In the end I opted for a multi pronged approach. Traditional dating sites, swinging and fetish sites.
The traditional dating site/app route just didn't work for me. I saw some profiles that really showed potential but at the back of my mind I kept thinking to myself " the vanilla life just doesn't work for me" perhaps at some point in the future but right now? I also found myself wondering how I would bring up my past if I got close to someone and she wanted to know more about me. I have no interest in keeping secrets. Once upon a time I lead a double life and I have no intention of ever doing that again. There lay my dilemma, I am pretty sure the average woman on the street would freak out if I told her that I stopped counting how many woman I have fucked over the years as a swinger. I stopped counting long ago when I sailed past the number 40.
That left swinging and fetish sites. As a single male primarily identifying himself as a Bull looking for couples. Any single woman venturing across my profiles and blogs would have been forgiven for thinking I had no real interest in them. To be fair that had indeed been the truth for a number of years.
Once I started looking on my most used swinging and fetish sites I quickly discovered the general mood, tone and mindset of the single women I was encountering. On the swinging site although there were obviously exceptions to the rule. The mention of words like emotion, relationship and love almost felt like blasphemy. I am obviously exaggerating to a certain extent but one certainly got the impression that if you admitted to having emotional needs you were revealing some kind of guilty secret. In the sites discussion forums if someone made a posting suggesting that they wanted to date. There would always be at least one irritated response stating that it was not a dating site. However, there would also be encouraging messages from people saying that they met their partner through the site and that they couldn't be happier.
The fetish site I use is different in several ways......
As mentioned previously, my quest to find a partner in crime led to me discarding traditional dating sites and focusing most of my efforts on a swinging site FabSwingers and a fetish site FetLife.
Once I knew that I was on a quest to find someone like minded as my special other half I decided to put myself on a two year mission. I am one that believes that if you want something too eagerly or desperately it will elude you. Hence my decision to give myself what I felt to be ample time to find someone special. If indeed it was meant to be my destiny.
Being the ever horny person that I am. My quest did not mean I was willing to give up my life of depravity while still searching and dating. This was one of the reasons I felt that traditional dating would not work for me. I had no intention of lying to anyone and hoped that any woman I met from the swinging and kink scene would be a little more understanding if I wanted to keep my options open and not rush into anything while looking.
The plan was to combine my normal swinging and cuckolding of couples with attending social events in the kink world. With the aim of networking and getting to know people. This being in part because in the kink world I was not as well known to people.
I attended a few pub socials known as "munches" within the kink scene. Also because of my curiosity about rope bondage and how it could be used for imaginative sex games I attended a few rope play how-to workshops too.
I won't bore you with the details but this eventually let to me corresponding with Foxy. The conversation flowed naturally so naturally we arranged to meet face to face for a quick drink after work as we both work in central London.
We met outside a station and I took her to a local bar that I am familiar with. When we finally settled down and she took her coat off I got a good look at the shape of her body. I think the best way to describe it, is as being black man friendly. Curves everywhere ready to burst free from her dress. Generous hips and a cleavage that screamed "touch me".
The conversation was good and I loved the fact that we had so many shared interests of a nerdy nature as well as us both being somewhat deviant sexually. After the drink we walked back to the station where we would both be heading off in opposite directions on the Central line. On her platform I made an attempt to kiss Foxy.... lets just say it didn't go well. She later told me that my sexual intentions had been a little too clear from my body language in the bar. That said, she concluded that there had been enough positive aspects about me in other areas for her to give me a second chance......phew!!
Not long after that evening we met for lunch. She had a half day and my office was on her route home. On this occasion she walked me back to my building. This time she was of the mind that if I tried to kiss her again she wouldn't resist.
If you have read any of my previous blogs you will probably be aware that for me the kiss is the deal breaker. Everything else can feel perfect but if I don't feel anything when I kiss a women its over there and then. Experience has taught me if there is no passion and chemistry with the kiss, sex with that person won't be any better.
So as I said good bye to Foxy, I stepped close enough to invade her personal space and placed my hands on her hips. Then we kissed. Gentle teasing soft and sensual at first. Then with more passion. I wrapped my arms around her and we kissed some more. Fuck!!! I made my mind up there and then. Never has a lunch break gone so quickly. The rest of the day I was in a daze and could barely focus on anything. I wanted Foxy and I wanted her now.
Life being what it is I had a few challenges to deal with. Foxy had not long ago been in a relationship with a Dom that didn't go well and my open book policy about my sex life made her somewhat wary of me. Besides which I was just one of a few guys expressing and interest in her. How was I going to get Foxy to take me seriously?..........
We met outside a station and I took her to a local bar that I am familiar with. When we finally settled down and she took her coat off I got a good look at the shape of her body. I think the best way to describe it, is as being black man friendly. Curves everywhere ready to burst free from her dress. Generous hips and a cleavage that screamed "touch me".
The conversation was good and I loved the fact that we had so many shared interests of a nerdy nature as well as us both being somewhat deviant sexually. After the drink we walked back to the station where we would both be heading off in opposite directions on the Central line. On her platform I made an attempt to kiss Foxy.... lets just say it didn't go well. She later told me that my sexual intentions had been a little too clear from my body language in the bar. That said, she concluded that there had been enough positive aspects about me in other areas for her to give me a second chance......phew!!
Not long after that evening we met for lunch. She had a half day and my office was on her route home. On this occasion she walked me back to my building. This time she was of the mind that if I tried to kiss her again she wouldn't resist.
If you have read any of my previous blogs you will probably be aware that for me the kiss is the deal breaker. Everything else can feel perfect but if I don't feel anything when I kiss a women its over there and then. Experience has taught me if there is no passion and chemistry with the kiss, sex with that person won't be any better.
So as I said good bye to Foxy, I stepped close enough to invade her personal space and placed my hands on her hips. Then we kissed. Gentle teasing soft and sensual at first. Then with more passion. I wrapped my arms around her and we kissed some more. Fuck!!! I made my mind up there and then. Never has a lunch break gone so quickly. The rest of the day I was in a daze and could barely focus on anything. I wanted Foxy and I wanted her now.
Life being what it is I had a few challenges to deal with. Foxy had not long ago been in a relationship with a Dom that didn't go well and my open book policy about my sex life made her somewhat wary of me. Besides which I was just one of a few guys expressing and interest in her. How was I going to get Foxy to take me seriously?..........
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