Morning , One thing about me is that I am always thinking and analyzing. Some might argue that I over think and to a certain extent they might be right. But I enjoy it and I see it as an important part of my growth as a human being.
Anyway, when I woke up this morning I found myself going over a conversation that I had with a married white woman into the early hours. I wondered...yet again about the role race place in the world of swinging and cuckold, hot-wife fun in particular. My thoughts my be in danger of going off in all kinds of directions so please bear with me if I appear to ramble.
As a black man living in a white country it would be impossible not to have given racism a lot of thought. Also as a father I consider it my duty to prepare my children for what they will have to confront as they get older.
In my opinion racists are a rare breed but prejudice is everywhere and within all of us. Where does racism come from? I think it is the end result of prejudice when left unchallenged and is fed watered and nurtured by thoughts and ones environment. It can be a conscious act or perhaps more dangerously it can come from a perspective of self denial.
I always laugh when people say they don’t have a prejudiced bone in their body. To that I always argue then that person must love friends and strangers as much as their own family, which of course is nonsense. Prejudice is natural. Without it the tribalism around football teams would not exist.
So what do I do about it on a personal level? Well I long ago saw the link between thoughts and how they affect your daily interactions with people. For example when I’m hungry I’m a mean son of a bitch. But when fed and watered you could almost call me a card carrying pacifist lol
So anyway as a black man living in the UK I don’t go about in my daily life when dealing with people thinking ohh she is white, he is Asian etc etc. I am aware of it but it doesn't occupy my thoughts. Why because I firmly believe that if you have that kind of internal narration it affects how you deal with that person. It matters not if you think you are not verbalising it, those thoughts will always leak out one way or another. I can often tell when dealing with people when the person is focused too much on what I look like. The signs are so obvious and it makes me laugh to myself when people think they are able to mask it lol
It is my belief that even in this so called modern world we are not that different from animals and can all sense this even if not consciously aware.
For example. If I was to go to a job interview thinking. I’m going to be interviewed by a panel of white people...damn I’m not going to get this job. That vibe even if not verbalised would be sensed subconsciously by that panel and would very likely turn into a self fulfilling prophecy.
There is only one environment where try as I might I just can't shake a feeling of uneasiness and that is in the company of the police. I have nothing to hide and can rationalize as much as I like but just can't fully shake off that feeling. I have to consciously challenge my perceptions but it is not an easy task for me. I'm sure that the flip side is also true. Be it among some members of the police or non blacks who are simply not used to being around black people. However as I mentioned earlier. Being aware of this thought process is a very important step in combating the negative impact prejudice can have on ones thinking when left unchecked
So what role has race played in my life as a swinger? Up until recently, very little, I have been swinging on and off for years and the colour of the people I met was of very little importance to me. I merely celebrated the differences.
What has changed? Will let you know in part two ;-)
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