Club BiVersity - Diverse Desires: Bi, Pan, Kinky & Culture-Rich - London

Desire across racial lines is real. It’s everywhere in kink, swinging, and open relationship spaces—and it’s something I’ve felt, witnessed, and lived.

I’ve been in relationships with women from all kinds of backgrounds. Not because I collect cultures, but because the connection was real. Because I was seen—not “just” as a black man or a good fuck—but as a whole person. As a Black man whose life experiences, worldview, and cultural context weren’t brushed over or treated like background noise. I was met fully—and those relationships only deepened because of that.

That’s what appreciation looks like.

When it comes to Black women… I’m in awe. Oh fuck do I love my black women. The beauty, the oh so deeply feminine power, the presence—it moves me. And there’s something deeply satisfying, even heartwarming, about seeing Black women I know—whether partners or friends—being genuinely appreciated by men of other backgrounds. When I see a connection that’s mutual, grounded, and emotionally aware, it’s beautiful.

But when I sense fetishisation—when I catch even a hint of “I’ve always wanted to try a Black woman”—I’m out. I feel repelled. Why? because I know what’s underneath that phrasing: a stripping away of personhood. A desire based on myth, not truth.

That same line applies to me, too. If someone’s desire for me is rooted in a surface-level curiosity, or some "bucket list" mentality, I’m already halfway gone. I don’t care how hot the surface energy is—if I don’t feel seen, it’s empty.

Now, here’s something else I’ve noticed over time: amber flags that show up within our own racial communities. Like when someone says, “I just don’t date people from my own background.” That just doesn’t sit right with me—for some, I know it can be rooted in trauma or difficult experiences they’d rather not relive. I can hold space for that. I get it… to an extent…..which is why it’s an amber flag as opposed to being bright red.

But it’s still something I take note of. Because when desire becomes a way of distancing from yourself or your community, I can’t help but wonder what parts of yourself you're trying not to face. And I know I’ll eventually be asked to participate in that avoidance that might inadvertently chip away at my own self-worth if that woman is black .

Anyway, when I do sense genuine appreciation—when someone connects with the fullness of who I am, and wants me, not just my background or the fantasy of it—that’s something else entirely. That’s real. That’s powerful. That’s hot.

And yeah… when it’s done right? When two people meet each other fully, even across differences? When there’s respect, desire, and mutual clarity? It’s horny as fuck. That part’s not lost on me. But it’s the bonus—not the foundation.

That’s why I’m intentional about the creation of Club BiVersity, we don’t pretend colour doesn’t exist. We don’t claim to be “post-racial.” We centre the reality that our identities do shape how we show up—and that’s not something to fear. It’s something to honour.

So if you’re navigating desire across race, culture, or ethnicity—whether you’re Black, Brown, white, or mixed—my take is this:
Be honest with yourself. Yes be curious about others but also be mindful to pay attention to what you’re drawn to—and why.

Because when appreciation is real? When it’s layered, conscious, and rooted in seeing the whole person? That’s where beauty lives. That’s where pleasure deepens. That’s where sex, love, and kink can be fucking awesome.

Want to join our private Telegram group. Or perhaps you want to learn a bit more about Club BiVersity?

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Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 1 of 3

The older I get the more I try to distance myself from labels because they can sometimes be so inadequate, one dimensional and limiting. That said sometimes for the sake of clarity one is forced to either use or acknowledge them. One of the most prevalent topics of discussion that comes up again and again in the Fabswinger forums that I sometimes chat on or observe is cock size. Especially the size of black dicks.

The term BBC used to rub me up the wrong way and no that’s not just because by Bull standards my cock barely makes it into the big cock category. That’s right  I’m a black man with an “average” cock.

What?????  Yep some of you may be hearing this for the very first time. Are you sitting down? Some black men have.........average cocks.......now brace yourself there's more......some black men have small cocks.

At this point some of you may be thinking how could I possibly cuckold someone if I "only" have and average size dick. The simple flipant answer to that question would be. I don't know I just do. I've been swinging for a very long time and for many a year when chatting online the very first question people would ask me, often as a conversation opener was "how big is your BBC?" 

Over time my response transitioned from an answer, to a mental roling of my eyes, to a groan to a....well you get the picture. I basically got sick and tired being addressed so rudely. Sure ask me about my cock and what I look like but as a start of a conversation I consider it the height of disrespect.

So what did I do? I decided to nip it in the bud. The swinging profile I have on sites like Black to White and Hotwifing make it clear what size cock I have. Just as I am openly bicurious, I openly state the size of my cock too. My basic attitude is "lifes too short this is me take me as I am or don't". What effect did it have? Well a good one. The constant trickle of stupid questions asked by idiots came to a stop. Not completely but dramatically enough for it to no longer be a pain in the arse. 

Almost magically the caliber of conversation from the people approaching me improved. Conversations flowed naturally and questions asked were so much more mature in nature. Now don't get me wrong. If a woman or couple has a thing for black guys with premium sized big cocks I'm not going to hold that against them we all have a right to like what we like. After all I myself am bicurious and when I meet a bi couple as opposed to a cuckold couple its nice if the guy has a yummily weigthy cock that I can stroke or suck.

Anyway back to the main topic. As a single male in persuit of hotwives...especially hotwives that may potentially have a cuckold husband isn't the most basic of requirements to be the proud owner of a magnificently proportioned dick?

Basically

Does size matter?

The answer, MY answer is in part two of this blog.....

Race and prejudice from a swinging black man's perspective p/t 2 of 2

As mentioned previously, in my life as a swinger I have always been aware of race but from my perspective it has always played a minor role in my mind when looking for people to have fun with.

Even now when it does play a bigger part in my selection process I am conscious of not inadvertently turning myself into something of a hypocrite. So a certain amount of self analysis and juggling may be required.  What do I mean by that? Well previously there were certain traits that I was always wary of. So I was and still am cautious at first when a couple or single lady indicates that they are looking for a big black man with a big cock. I don't like the feeling that I am merely a prop in someones fantasy. However on the flip side isn't everyone's starting point based on a fantasy? So as with most things in life a certain amount of balance is required.

I could be generalizing, but the impression I get is that couples would always prefer to meet a black man with the body of an Olympic sprinter and a porn star sized cock, especially the husbands lol. I am neither of these things. Which in a strange way is a good thing. Were I 6ft plus and the proud owner of a 8" plus cock I think I would always be wondering at the back of my mind if the person I was fucking was purely fixated on how I looked and had no interest in me as a person. Having said that. I do make the most of what I have by eating reasonably well and exercising to maintain my stamina and fitness levels. I consider this my duty as a Bull. If Bulls had a mission statement what would it be? lolol

Anyway, with me being a 5ft6" male with a 6.5" cock, almost by definition the people I have met do not have that same rigid fixation in their mind. They are also looking a little deeper and have an interest in some of my other qualities too. Yes the majority have a strong preference for black men but alongside that they want to meet a black man that although naughty knows when to be a gentleman and when to take control and do what comes naturally.Over the years I have spoken to black guys that fit the above description and can confirm that some of them do have similar thoughts to myself.

So in what context do I find myself wondering if I am crossing the line into prejudice and stereotyping and being careful not to? In the weird and wonderful world of cuckoldry. I adore women of all shades but when it comes to the would of cuckoldry. To really get my attention the couple has to be white and married. Plus the higher up the social class ladder they are the better......and then it dawned on me. 

After speaking online at great length to the stunning married Russian woman I found myself thinking in much the same way I have in the past. That her being white had very little significance in my mind. I just wanted her because she was hot.

Perhaps being a Bull to a cuckold couples is one of those things greater than the sum of all its parts. Individually each component not that significant. But when all put together something powerful happens. For me three of those components are the marital, racial and cultural background of the couple. With the right number of taboo boxes ticked, it tips over and something deep, raw and powerful happens. I crave it with a passion.

Race and prejudice from a swinging black man's perspective P/T 1 of 2

Morning , One thing about me is that I am always thinking and analyzing. Some might argue that I over think and to a certain extent they might be right. But I enjoy it and I see it as an important part of my growth as a human being.

Anyway, when I woke up this morning I found myself going over a conversation that I had with a married white woman into the early hours. I wondered...yet again about the role race place in the world of swinging and cuckold, hot-wife fun in particular. My thoughts my be in danger of going off in all kinds of directions so please bear with me if I appear to ramble.

As a black man living in a white country it would be impossible not to have given racism a lot of thought. Also as a father I consider it my duty to prepare my children for what they will have to confront as they get older.

In my opinion racists are a rare breed but prejudice is everywhere and within all of us. Where does racism come from? I think it is the end result of prejudice when left unchallenged and is fed watered and nurtured by thoughts and ones environment. It can be a conscious act or perhaps more dangerously it can come from a perspective of self denial.

I always laugh when people say they don’t have a prejudiced bone in their body. To that I always argue then that person must love friends and strangers as much as their own family, which of course is nonsense. Prejudice is natural. Without it the tribalism around football teams would not exist.

So what do I do about it on a personal level? Well I long ago saw the link between thoughts and how they affect your daily interactions with people. For example when I’m hungry I’m a mean son of a bitch. But when fed and watered you could almost call me a card carrying pacifist lol

So anyway as a black man living in the UK I don’t go about in my daily life when dealing with people thinking ohh she is white, he is Asian etc etc. I am aware of it but it doesn't occupy my thoughts. Why because I firmly believe that if you have that kind of internal narration it affects how you deal with that person. It matters not if you think you are not verbalising it, those thoughts will always leak out one way or another. I can often tell when dealing with people when the person is focused too much on what I look like. The signs are so obvious and it makes me laugh to myself when people think they are able to mask it lol

It is my belief that even in this so called modern world we are not that different from animals and can all sense this even if not consciously aware.

For example. If I was to go to a job interview thinking. I’m going to be interviewed by a panel of white people...damn I’m not going to get this job. That vibe even if not verbalised would be sensed subconsciously by that panel and would very likely turn into a self fulfilling prophecy.

There is only one environment where try as I might I just can't shake a feeling of uneasiness and that is in the company of the police. I have nothing to hide and can rationalize as much as I like but just can't fully shake off that feeling. I have to consciously challenge my perceptions but it is not an easy task for me. I'm sure that the flip side is also true. Be it among some members of the police or non blacks who are simply not used to being around black people. However as I mentioned earlier. Being aware of this thought process is a very important step in combating the negative impact prejudice can have on ones thinking when left unchecked

So what role has race played in my life as a swinger? Up until recently, very little, I have been swinging on and off for years and the colour of the people I met was of very little importance to me. I merely celebrated the differences.

What has changed? Will let you know in part two ;-)