That Unspoken Taboo That Scares The Shit Out Of Most....... 😳👎🏿 or 😁👍🏿

Across both swinging and fetish spaces, I've noticed something curious. We celebrate our deviance. We embrace kinks, edge play, fluid bonding, group dynamics, identity explorations, and more. And yet — there’s still one thing that sits deeper in the shadows than all the rest.

One desire that people either run from, deny, or pursue quietly, almost apologetically with a sense of self conscious shame and embarrassment.

I call it the ultimate taboo.

It gets whispered in late-night messages, hinted at in cryptic profiles, and avoided altogether by those who fear the intensity it can unleash. Hey I can empathize understand why. Much like fire or nuclear energy, it holds immense power. Mishandled, it burns and devastates. Ignored, it festers. But when the right conditions are present? It can become a limitless source of......

Let me be clear: I don’t pursue this desire out of desperation and oh do I try my best not to try to light a spark where the wood is wet. Not every connection is meant to hold this kind of fire. But when the conditions are right, I won’t shy away from it. I choose to harness it.

Because I’m not afraid of depth. Of surrender. Of risk. Of what it awakens in others — or in me.

I seek it in its purest form — because only then is it truly authentic.

Un-corrupted, it becomes the ultimate expression of mutual freedom.

It’s the one taboo that, when fully embraced, gives every other taboo a depth and intensity nothing else can match. But that’s exactly why it can’t be forced.

It has to happen organically — with honesty, courage, and alignment.

Because if it doesn’t, the pursuit becomes just a hollow chase… and the real thing slips further out of reach.

Have you figured it out yet. I wonder what perverted cravings are running through you mind right now?

No — it’s NOT centered on copious amounts of cum involving multiple......sorry I got a bit distracted for a moment...where was I? Ah yes...

Hell it's even more of a taboo than a guy admitting to being an enthusiastic cock sucker in a room full of heterosexual men 🤣🤣.

Dare I say… it’s even more polarizing than the mere mention of SCAT......that's not one of mine I hasten to add but neither am I one to kink shame. I'm always rather intrigued whenever I meet people who out perv me or have a higher sex drive.....damn it, I got side tracked again.

Back to the topic in hand......

And it's because I see this taboo — that in its purest form knows no limits, no hierarchy, no script — that I’ve chosen the path of solo polyamory and relationship anarchy. Where connection is led by authenticity, not obligation. Where depth is not defined by exclusivity. And where this “taboo” can be honored without fear or feelings of self consciousness.

Yes — this Taboo is THE big one.

The most polarizing four-letter expletive of them all:

L O V E.

Club BiVersity - Diverse Desires: Bi, Pan, Kinky & Culture-Rich - London

Desire across racial lines is real. It’s everywhere in kink, swinging, and open relationship spaces—and it’s something I’ve felt, witnessed, and lived.

I’ve been in relationships with women from all kinds of backgrounds. Not because I collect cultures, but because the connection was real. Because I was seen—not “just” as a black man or a good fuck—but as a whole person. As a Black man whose life experiences, worldview, and cultural context weren’t brushed over or treated like background noise. I was met fully—and those relationships only deepened because of that.

That’s what appreciation looks like.

When it comes to Black women… I’m in awe. Oh fuck do I love my black women. The beauty, the oh so deeply feminine power, the presence—it moves me. And there’s something deeply satisfying, even heartwarming, about seeing Black women I know—whether partners or friends—being genuinely appreciated by men of other backgrounds. When I see a connection that’s mutual, grounded, and emotionally aware, it’s beautiful.

But when I sense fetishisation—when I catch even a hint of “I’ve always wanted to try a Black woman”—I’m out. I feel repelled. Why? because I know what’s underneath that phrasing: a stripping away of personhood. A desire based on myth, not truth.

That same line applies to me, too. If someone’s desire for me is rooted in a surface-level curiosity, or some "bucket list" mentality, I’m already halfway gone. I don’t care how hot the surface energy is—if I don’t feel seen, it’s empty.

Now, here’s something else I’ve noticed over time: amber flags that show up within our own racial communities. Like when someone says, “I just don’t date people from my own background.” That just doesn’t sit right with me—for some, I know it can be rooted in trauma or difficult experiences they’d rather not relive. I can hold space for that. I get it… to an extent…..which is why it’s an amber flag as opposed to being bright red.

But it’s still something I take note of. Because when desire becomes a way of distancing from yourself or your community, I can’t help but wonder what parts of yourself you're trying not to face. And I know I’ll eventually be asked to participate in that avoidance that might inadvertently chip away at my own self-worth if that woman is black .

Anyway, when I do sense genuine appreciation—when someone connects with the fullness of who I am, and wants me, not just my background or the fantasy of it—that’s something else entirely. That’s real. That’s powerful. That’s hot.

And yeah… when it’s done right? When two people meet each other fully, even across differences? When there’s respect, desire, and mutual clarity? It’s horny as fuck. That part’s not lost on me. But it’s the bonus—not the foundation.

That’s why I’m intentional about the creation of Club BiVersity, we don’t pretend colour doesn’t exist. We don’t claim to be “post-racial.” We centre the reality that our identities do shape how we show up—and that’s not something to fear. It’s something to honour.

So if you’re navigating desire across race, culture, or ethnicity—whether you’re Black, Brown, white, or mixed—my take is this:
Be honest with yourself. Yes be curious about others but also be mindful to pay attention to what you’re drawn to—and why.

Because when appreciation is real? When it’s layered, conscious, and rooted in seeing the whole person? That’s where beauty lives. That’s where pleasure deepens. That’s where sex, love, and kink can be fucking awesome.

Want to join our private Telegram group. Or perhaps you want to learn a bit more about Club BiVersity?

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Desire vs fetishization – My take when its interracial

Maybe it’s all in my imagination but these days we seem to be living in a world of tribalistic extremes. Something that makes absolutely no sense to me because there is nothing more complex than the mind of a human being.

My sex life has often had an interracial dynamic but I am always aware that there is sometimes a delicate balance to be had and I am mindful not to inadvertently fetishize someone with a background different to my own or indeed put myself in situations where I feel fetishized.

I love what feels safe and familiar some things need not be communicated verbally…….you just know. But I am also forever curious about what makes us all different. When I watched a white guy fuck my ex I found it sexy as fuck and I tapped into my wank bank streaming service for weeks afterwards.

On the flip side when a guy guides my cock into his lady and her skin complexion is different to mine it’s sexy as fuck when all three of us get to admire the contrast as I slide in and out of her special yummy place. That curiosity for something different has certainly played a role in my non-monogamous sexual journey over the years. However on the flip side because I’m repelled by fetishization I was and never will be the “perfect” swinger. Even before I heard the word I have always drifted in the direction that could lead to polyamory and shied away from ONS whenever possible.

It's easy to side-step the extreme end of fetishization because the tell-tale signs soooooo blatantly obvious. With the more subtle levels it not so easy but in my experience pausing, not making assumptions and taking the time to get to know a person always helps.

A Polyamorous Bi Black Bull. Is That A Thing??? Part 1 of 3

It's Monday morning and I'm now just days away from attending an interracial swingers partly with a theme that caters more closely and overtly to my sexual preferences. It’s the BMFC Bull night at Xtasia’s. It's because of the theme that I'm prepared to make the long trip......long for us Londoner anyway 🤣. Interestingly the very last time I made the trip was shortly before the first Covid lockdown back in early 2020. 

Talk about a cruel twist of fate. At the time I was just coming out of a long-term relationship. Although we would sometimes swing as a couple there were no opportunities for me to continue with my adventures as a Bull with couples. Until that last party I hadn't quite realised how much I had missed meeting couples within the cuckolding dynamic. Getting to know couples beforehand has always been a more natural approach for me and this was very much the case that night.  

I host a very discreet carefully vetted messaging app chat group that caters exclusively to swingers who enjoy interracial fun with bicurious and bisexual black men. Some of the members attended that night and I was lucky enough to have fun with two of the couples. Both were very different and that was reflected in the type of fun that I had with each one. I've gone into this in more detail in a previous blog so in this one I will just summarise. 

The first couple was the older of the two. I don't think I will ever get over the rush that I get from being able to openly flirt with another man’s wife in his presence it’s so NOT the right and proper thing to do mmmmmmm. What's also a rush is witnessing the excitement of cuckolds when they know that they don't have to keep a distance when I'm having fun with their wives. The cuckold from the slightly older couple wasted no time when we got into one of Xtasia’s private playrooms. After lots of sensual kissing we all got naked. As soon as I leant over to taste his wife's pussy the cuck went straight for my arse and started rimming me. His pent up desire to "service me" as the Bull was horny as fuck. 

With the second younger couple the dynamic was very different. We met by the edge of the dance floor and within moments the wife and me were kissing. It was instinctive and we could barely keep our hands of each other. The BDSM Dom in me sensed her submissive side but more importantly what kind of sub she was, so I gave her a task. It was to fuck as many black men as took her fancy and to come to my hotel room later that night. That she did and boy did we have fun. As a reward for being such a good sub I made one of her fantasies come true by later inviting one of the guys from my chat group into the room. Her cuckold was a bit on the shy side so he didn't get quite as involved as the first one.  

Fast forward to now it's April 2022 The BMFC (Black Mans Fan Club) party is just days away but my personal circumstances are rather different. So what will my approach be this time around? hmmmmmm.... 

From straight Bull to Club Biversity cock sucking bisexual interracial party host? WTF?? P/T 2 of 2

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From straight Bull to Club Biversity cock sucking bisexual interracial party host? WTF?? P/T 1 of 2

I'm holding my breath, crossing my fingers and touching wood for good luck. In just a few days I will finally find out if my experiment has worked. To the best of my knowledge no one has ever hosted a swinging party that focuses primarily on bi and bi curious single black men and the swingers that want to have fun with them.

Yes there are bisexual parties and yes there are interracial parties but to the best of my knowledge the two have never been combined. Why is that? Based on my past experiences as a Bull I am convinced that the demand is out there. Back when I was still single I would be contacted on an almost daily bases by couples almost desperate to meet black men who are ok with having their cock sucked by the male half of a couple too. Bi and especially cuckold couples would complain to me in frustration about the fact that the black guys they were seeing wouldn't entertain the thought of taking things to the next level.

For me this was great. My swinging profile made it clear that I was happy to be serviced by cuckolds and to ensure that nothing was left to doubt, I changed my profile picture to one that showed me having my cock sucked by a masked cuckold. Were it not for the fact that most couples contacting me lived miles from London I would have had a lot more encounters than I did. As you may know from previous blogs that was a major source of frustration for me at the time.

Fast forward to the present, as one half of a couple that swings the situation has changed to a very different dynamic. We're both swingers but some of our tastes differ. She feel more at ease when we have fun with single guys and my preference is to have fun with other swinging couples both straight and bi. One of the ways we compromise is to never knowingly have fun with single guys unless they are bi curious. Everyone involved gets to suck cock and my girlfriend gets to have DP and DVP fun, both of which make her insanely horny.

Another area in which our preferences differ is that the idea of private and hotel meets with swingers makes her very nervous. However for me as a long time swinger it feels much more natural. When I first started swinging, clubs did not dominate the swinging landscape the way they do now. Most swingers got together at private parties and hotels.

This brings me back to some of the inspirations behind the birth of Club Biversity. One being the fact that I wanted to find a more effective way for us to get to know more like minded swinging couples.

Another and very important motivation behind the creation of Club Biversity is the fact that guys having fun with each other at swinging clubs is heavily frowned upon. Now don't get me wrong. There are a lot of open-minded swingers out there. However there are enough swingers with prejudices to make it impossible to relax completely as a bi or bi curious male when attending swinging clubs and events. Even on so called bi nights at clubs guys have come up to me with something negative to say when they have seen guys sucking or fucking each other......seriously????

Anyway, I didn't truly appreciate how on guard I was at conventional swinging parties until the first time I attended a monthly bi night that actively vetted the guests to ensure that only bisexual males got an invite.

FUCK!!!!!!!!

That was a night of revelations and one that I will never forget.......