What If You're Black & Want To Be Cuckolded?

I spent many a year playing the role of the Bull and boy did I love it. Especially when the planets aligned, and I was able to have fun with a cuckold couple on an ongoing basis.

I used to think nothing could match the thrill of fucking another man's wife....especially if he was there to "assist"

Now I'm of the opinion that it's way hotter when that role is reversed.

*except perhaps if a couple were to give me free rein to build a special bond and the wife or girlfriend is eager to be (polite cough) slut trained over an extended period of time.*

It's the deeper level of intimacy between a partner and myself that makes it extra special.
BUT where are my fellow black cuckolds, I know you're out there but hiding in plain site. I get it though we're almost always expected to play the role of the Bull but sometimes we don't want to, sometimes we want something different, something more. NOT what's expected.

That's why I've decided to create a safe space. A very private very discreet chat group that's exclusively for black men who have that deep urge to be cuckolded but no one to chat with about it.

If the above sounds like you feel free to reach out to me.

Discretion assured. 

You'll find me here......

https://fetlife.com/ClubBiversity

or

https://www.instagram.com/cocoatemptationlondon/

or

https://x.com/CocoTemptation_

No I'm Not Too Scared To Go To Sex and Kink Parties By Myself. It's Just That.....

THIS IS NOT SO MUCH A BLOG BUT MORE THE OTHER END OF ONE OF TWO LINKS THAT I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD TO A COUPLE OF KINK/SWINGING SITES THAT I'M ON 

This Is The Other One

Sex in isolation of connection or chemistry does nothing for me. So although I’ll attend socials and munches as a single male I won’t attend parties by myself. I’m a very empathetic person so when you combine that with my compersion that manifests itself in the forms of both joy and lust. You’ll get why I’m a lot more excited by the idea of a woman having uninhibited fun with me at her side to facilitate/corrupt/protect (depending on her temperament)…..than I am about having sex with a stranger however hot they might be……..unless of course fun with that stranger/s is indulged in with my partner 🤤🤤.

 

IF WE’RE PLATONIC FRIENDS

 

I’m just happy to see you having fun and beside me being happy on your behalf it means I get to go to an event and not have to exert quite as much mental energy reassuring people that I’m ok/safe to chill or hang out with.

 

 

IF IT’S SEXUAL BETWEEN US

 

If you’re a promiscuous woman you’re my kind of person. A shared passion can be the foundation of a great friendship. So speaking as a card carrying shout it from the rooftops sl*t worshipper I can’t think of anything more exciting than going on exciting dick discovery adventures with you and hearing about the mouth salivating adventures that you may be having when I’m not around.

 

THE NON-NEGOTIABLES

 

1)            You are Ethically Non-Monogamous NOT just non-monogamous.

Reason: I’m in no position to judge especially because I cheated in my longest ever relationship. But I made a vow to be forever transparent after that and ‘m sticking to it. Anyone close to me needs to be a person who shares this perspective.

2)            You test for STIs regularly and whenever you play with someone you. You’re also not shy about ensuring that your play partners also test regularly and are willing to share their results with you

Reason: Safe play = more fun for everyone.

*Conversations about STI checks can be a real mood killer especially at clubs so more often than not I tend to play on a second meet. In other words don’t take offence (some do) but please be prepared for an upfront chat about the last time we all got tested.

Free NHS home testing kits can be ordered online so embarrassment/being busy is no longer an obstacle

Yep Horny Swingers Kinksters & Pervs Need Love Too

THIS IS NOT SO MUCH A BLOG BUT MORE THE OTHER END OF A LINK THAT I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD TO A COUPLE OF KINK/SWINGING SITES THAT I'M ON 

This Is The Other One

This post was inspired by the advice of a good friend so here's me being transparent, shit here goes......

I'm in no rush but my heart is open for the right person/people. The conditions need to be right and I'm willing to wait for that.

Ultimately I am indeed open to give and receive love I’d love to one day meet someone who loves me warts and all for who I am and as unconditionally as it’s practically possible. As a solo-poly this could potentially be 2-3 very special fucking awesome women.

I consider myself to be a very pragmatic realist. Plus based on past experiences and knowledge of self if certain very basic things are not in place I won’t even indulge in the fantasy of becoming someone’s anchor or primary partner.

I absolutely positively DO NOT believe that love conquers all. So here’s my list of love nurturing deal breakers and areas of concern from my perspective…..

THE THREE NON-NEGOTIABLES

1. It takes me more than an hour to get to where you live.

Reason: Quality time and touch are for me two very important love languages.

2. You see yourself one day transitioning away from the Ethically Non-Monogamous lifestyle.

Reason: Monogamy is beautiful it’s just not for me if this is your core belief too we’re off to a good start.

3. Fuck anyone you like but you must consciously commit to NOT nurturing deep intimacy with anyone else new to you for at least the first 3-6 months of our relationship.

Reason: Although I am in principle comfortable with my partner/s developing deep feeling for other people. Experience has taught me that dates and overnight stays with others can lead to conflicted loyalties.

CHALLENGES THAT MAKE ME HESITANT TO INVEST IN AND NURTURE A RELATIONSHIP THAT MIGHT LEAD TO LOVE

As a single parent that has my kids living with me full time if you’re in a similar situation setting aside quality time is going to be problematic. If you’re child free or don’t have yours with you full time there’s scope for flexibility.

Reason: I’ve grown weary of only being able to meet that someone special at parties/hotels/restaurants. I want us to also be able to hang out together without having to plan what feels like a military operation ( See 1) in the non-negotiables).

Plus I don’t want to have to book a hotel every time I need a cuddle 🤣

DOES RACE MATTER?

No and yes. This is a tricky one for me. I'm attracted to women of all backgrounds and my sex/dating/relationship history reflects that. However as indicated previously I'm firmly of the opinion that love does NOT conquer all. Post George Floyde I lost the will to raceplain (just made that word up, cool right? lol) the black experience in a world that's currently euro dominant.

I've lost the willingness to exert more than a minimal amount of energy on explaining the insidious nature of racism to someone who only has a surface level of understanding. 

That's my longish way of saying I'd prefer to be in a long term relationship with a black woman but I'll keep an open mind.

 

I Thought I Hated Gangbangs

 

I've been into swinging and kink for decades now and during that time whenever I got an invite to a gangbang I always turned them down without hesitation. Why? In part because of nerves but also because a part of me always felt a bit offended. I always pictured them as cold and impersonal and with the way my ego is mapped out I have no interest in just being a number in a line up. That doesn't feel the least bit sexy or horny from my perspective.

 

That said when I've looked back I have indeed been in gangbangs two in total and I had a fucking amazing time. I realised afterwards that on both occasions it was because they happened organically after I'd got to know the greedy girls in question. Although very temporary a connection had been made and for me that makes all the difference.

 

I get how anonymity can be horny as fuck but for me that only works in specific scenarios or when roles have been flipped. Which leads me on the the point of this little update.

 

I LOVE GANGBANGS

 

It's dawned on me that I'm starting to crave greedy girls as much as I do other men's wives (always in an ENM context). However there is a catch, the greedy girl needs to be MY greedy girl for the gangbang scenario to be an automatic turn on for me. I always get turned on when my women friends tell me about their naughty adventure and the closer we are the more of a turn on it is for me.

 

How did this revelation present itself to me? Well this month I went to a swinging club with a good friend. I told her to enjoy herself and and to unleash her inner s**t if so inclined. Boy did she unleash, I purposely got her to suck my cock in the club's cinema room with her arse in the air. She said yes to every man that approached her and as long as he had a condom ready I gave my blessing. The lust I felt was intoxicating and to say I'm hooked would be an understatement.

 

I'm out again with another friend soon. Now I've never been one to go to a club with any expectation. As a solo-poly I'm quite content to take the slow approach and from my perspective I consider a nice chat in a naughty environment a success. However ;-)

Why the hell would a Bull want a cuddle buddy that he didn't f*** ???

 

If you were to read any of my swinging and kink profiles you would notice an amendment which to some will look very out of place when compared to the filth in the rest of their content.

Post covid it dawned on me that not only are cuddles nice to have but they are actually a crucial element of what’s needed for my own personal sexual well-being. Although not essential for every sexual or kink related adventure. Were it not to be a factor of most of my encounters, experience has now taught me that its total absence will leave me feeling at best a bit unfulfilled and at worst with an extremely unpleasant feeling of empty hollowness. Anyway I will refer back to this a little later in this blog.

When if comes to pure lustful cravings I think it's probably fair to say that there is no sexual dynamic that I fantasize about and crave more than threesomes. For me it represents the perfect blend of fun and filth......and within this dynamic there is nothing I salivate over more than MMF (two bi/curious males with one woman) fun. From my perspective there's nothing more intoxicatingly horny than a M/F couple be they cuckold or bi inviting a single male to join them for inappropriately filthy fun.

Historically most of my fun along these lines has been with me being in the role of the single male invited to join a cuckold couple. (Interestingly of late I've noticed that whenever I'm partnered with a sexy woman I have become increasingly interested in being joined by a single male. I'm closer to the Stag/Vixen end of the spectrum)

Anyway much as I crave threesome filth I have always been mindful of the necessity to nurture my need for balance. I have a long held belief that as a male with a strong craving for meeting couples its important to have other outlets in order to cater to that human need for intimacy on a deeper level.

In my version of an ideal world there is always a scenario in which I have an intimate loving partner who is accepting of my need for this form of sexual expression. I have spoken to many couples over the years and they often speak of fun arrangements with single males that have come to an abrupt end when the invited male confused his lustful passions for intimacy on a deeper level. Hell I even made that mistake once......ONCE. But I have never repeated it. We're only human so we all make mistakes however repeating it would now be unethical from my perspective. An experienced Bull with ethics believes in transparency will never do anything to even hint at compromising the stability of a couples loving relationship.

That said what does a single male do when not anchored in one or more (I'm polyamorous hence the plural)  loving relationships. From my perspective I think it is important to be purposeful in finding kindred spirits who share your understanding of the need for something to balance out the need for delicious filth with something more intimate too.

A VERY BAD INFLUENCE ON THE NOT SO INNOCENT

I love mentoring people and this applies to both my vanilla life and the darker sexual elements of my personality.  That’s no doubt one of the reasons why I’m drawn more to cuckold as opposed to stag/vixen couples. Love mentoring and collaboration but I HATE being told what to do by other guys lol.

Anyway when an opportunity to be protector and guide for a sexy woman at her first ever swingers party presented itself I seized it with both hands. The event in question was MILF Club a day time swinging event at The Vanilla Alternative venue. My mentee was extremely nervous at first but I was able to guide her with the benefit of my insights based on my decades of experience living a non-monogamous lifestyle.

My companion received a lot of complimentary attention so by the end of the afternoon she had relaxed enough to unleash her inner sl**. Now if you have read any of my past blogs you will know that this is a quality that I find extremely attractive in a woman. Although I didn’t get to benefit personally from these unleashed passions I did get to see her lavished by the attentions of two guys we’d been chatting with who took her fancy.

On the drive back to our hotel I was bursting with excitement eager to get my new friends perspective on what had just happened. However she was still in something of a dazed state trying to process things in hear head.

WHAT YOU MEAN YOU DIDN’T FUCK?

It turns out that although weeks of chat had established a rather special bond between the two of us as it happens I’m not really her type on a sexual level. This may sound weird to some of you readers but for me personally my ego stopped being bruised by situations like this years ago.

Now don’t get me wrong I would sooooo love to have fucked my new friend especially as the memory of her being ever so recently well fucked was freshly stored in my brain. However I’m of the mind that a connection between people is only truly pleasurable when equally desired by all parties. I only want to fuck a woman when she struggles to differentiate the difference between wanting and needing me inside her.

Come to think of it I think that ties into another reason why I lean more to the cuckolding dynamic with couples as opposed to the Stag/Vixen dynamic. Now please bear with me and please don’t take offence if this does not apply to you, after all there are always exceptions. This is a very very crude over simplification based on my experiences.

Based on my experience a Stag/Vixen couple wants “a guy or guys” to join them to fuck the lady. I’m personally much more interested in a couple when the cuck is fixated on the thought of “ME Danny” fucking his lady.

 

Anyway back to my naughty yet surreal adventure with my new and fingers crossed special friend. It turns out that although I’m not what she’s looking for sexually. It turns out that for both of us touch is the language that we like to communicate in.  So we spent a lovely night together chatting laughing and spooning to our hearts content.

So although the memories of my new ever so naughty but nice friend have given me blue balls I’m not feeling empty or hollow. I think I can now officially confirm that I’m a cuddle junkie lol.

The Sub Version of Me....out there somewhere in the multiverse

There's a sub version of me. I know this to be true because that's how my journey into kink first started. I had a deep deep desire to to worship and serve a sexually liberated woman...fantasized constantly about what it would feel like to be teased within an inch of my life and pegged without mercy. So one memorable night at a swingers social hosted by a couple I found a lady willing to be my guide.

She self identified as a nympho with an insatiable appetite. I loved the idea of being teased with maximum cruelty and denied the kind of access to her that she gave so freely to others that she deemed worthy. She was rather intrigued by the idea of having one of her conquests to use at her beck and call. She didn't think I had a dominant bone in my body it looked like a perfect match. So began our three year relationship.

It started off well enough she was like a wild creature that can't be tamed and that wildness was part of her beauty. But then there was an unexpected twist. Within her was an inner sub screaming to be let out......and much to the surprise of both of us somewhere deep in my subconscious was a Dom. He was a crafty little fellow because up until that point I had no idea of his existence...but once he awoke there was no putting him back into Pandora's box.

The next three years were.....the depravity ooooooohh boy.

Long long ago that was. By the way this is when the Bull within me was born. I'd met couples before but prior to having a sub the cerebral nature of cuckolding went right over my head. I just didn't get it.

BUT that sub is still there dormant but not hiding. Now and then reminding me that he's still there waiting patiently for the right opportunity to express himself.

Out there in the multiverse I wonder what the sub version of me is up to, whatever it is I've no doubt he's having his fair share of fun.

Filthy perv lolol.

Tennis balls on my forehead nectar on my tongue

My poly-lover is the kind of woman that needs to feel a connection before having fun with another man or woman. So I've been wetting her appetite by introducing her to a friend of mine in a three-way Telegram chat. Years back we fucked each-others girlfriend (at the time) using a Czech style female gloryhole by was that horny mmmmmmmm......

...anyway my partner is travelling again tomorrow and I love the thought of giving her something naughty to look forward to when she's back to London in January.

I know my friend to be straight so I was a little surprised when he suggested fucking my lady while I attend to her clit with my tongue. With him being straight I pushed back a little because it meant I'd be under him and I didn't want to give off any submissive or cuckolded vibes......

Problem being that this morning I woke up with an almighty hardon imagining the scenario taking place lolol.

I've now suggested that I'd go along with this if we were to swap places now and then to level things up......yep my ego will be more than ok with that. I wonder what he'll say? lolol.

This Is Why You Can't Fuck My Girlfriend If You're Straight

You probably wouldn't be surprised to discover that my desire to fuck other men's wives' and girlfriends is deep and to my core. However it may surprise you to know that my desire to see my girlfriend fucked by other guys is also deep rooted. Hell as the years have passed this desire has grown stronger. So much so that it's in danger of matching my lusts and cravings as a Bull. Come to think of it I probably enjoy both scenarios all the more because I can relate to the pleasure from more than one perspective.

However there is a bit of a catch, based on past experiences its just not as much fun for me if the man fucking my lady is straight. My apologies if this comes across as a bit harsh and overly simplistic but broadly speaking straight guys tend to fall into one of two camps. Naturally there is always going to be a bit of an overlap but here goes.

CAMP ONE

This camp is populated by the outwardly nervous straight guy. This guy doesn't really want me in the room but for the chance of a fuck he's willing to give it a go and will try to use a few mental tricks to zone me out and pretend I'm not there. He may be concerned that I'm eying him up and trying to figure out a way to pounce on him. So because of this concern he is never totally at ease and will struggle to stay in the moment and enjoy the sweet pleasures of my sexy girlfriend. I consider myself to be a bit of an empath and because I will sense this I too will struggle to be in the moment because I will then be using strategies of my own to try to put him at ease.

CAMP TWO

This camp is populated by the outwardly confident and alpha males. This guy doesn't really want me in the room either but his motives are a little different. He wants to fully unleash his lusts on my lady and will feel somewhat held back by my presence. For the time that he is in the room he wants her to himself and the idea of "sharing" doesn't come naturally to him. His natural instinct is to also mark his presence by showing both of us who's boss. This too will be sensed by me so instead of enjoying the experience my competitive instincts will kick in and the whole experience will be ruined because in those scenarios I will cut things short and that's no fun for anyone.

I think I should take the time to hold my hand up and take some responsibility for the above type of scenarios. They have only ever happened in a club environment where adrenaline can be high and decisions can sometimes be made on impulse. In my ideal world we've had a chance to meet socially to first find out if we're likely to be a good match. 

CAMP THREE (the exception to the rule)

Yep you guessed it the title of this blog is click bait lol. Straight guys have fucked my partners over the years but they will have been people that we've got to know so everyone feels comfortable relaxed and horny.

It's so much more fun when they're bi!!!

Why? Because even if there is no play between the guys the vibe is almost always so much more relaxed. No-one is tense or worried about body parts touching and there is no sense of competition so working together as a team to give pleasure to my sweet lady just feels more natural and instinctive.

It also means I can get really close for a good view of another mans cock sliding in and out of my lady's pussy which more likely than not will be soaking wet because she is as turned on by the thought of being very naughty in front of me as I am proud to have a card carrying slut as a lover. That image can replay and  remain vivid in my head for weeks and boy is it horny as fuck.

The guy being bi means I'm free to stroke his cock and guide him back in if he slips out and I can cup his balls while whispering filth into my girlfriends ear.

Another perk of MMF threesomes is that there is never ever the whisper of beginning to feel like a third wheel. Although I can be a perfectly respectful voyeur (and enjoy it) when watching other couples fuck waiting patiently on the sidelines as a voyeur makes me restless when its my own girlfriend I just can't do it. So if the guy inside her has stamina and the two of them get lost in the moment I always have the option of keeping my cock warm with his mouth. For some strange inexplicable reason guys tend to fuck with a greater sense of urgency when I do that ;-)

Sex Gas Masks and Post Covid Cuddles

A cock a gimp and a care bear walked into a bar......there's a joke in there somewhere I just know there is 😂.

Anyway this is going to be one of my slightly unusual somewhat reflective curveball postings...

Just over a week ago I was in a cafe sat opposite to a married woman and flirting with the intention meeting her at a hotel on our second encounter. It was a hot day and she was wearing a summer dress and oh boy do I love admiring women wearing summer dresses. I made little to no effort to hide the fact that my gaze sometimes lingered on her chest and oh so yummy looking thighs.  However in spite of my addiction for married women I had no intention of fucking her. Now you'd be forgiven for being confused at this point but here's the thing.

When covid hit and we were all in lockdown I was not long out of a serious relationship, and I had just managed to make a really good connection with not one but two amazing cuckold couples. However, in a cruel twist of fate neither of them was local to me and long story short it led to what at first was an agonising 18 month period of enforced celibacy.

Once I had got to the point of "accepting my fate" I actually got quite used to the isolation. I was also very much mindful and aware of the fact that soo many people and families suffered terribly at this time. I myself focused on developing other areas of my life and quite enjoyed the isolation. The pause from the rat race was in many ways good for me and luckily for me feeling of loneliness were quite rare. However, whenever it did occur it was like a punch to the gut and the desire that dominated all others was the desire for cuddles. It even overpowered my lust for other men's wives and boy did that take me by surprise.

Lockdown got me thinking about the second world war and although I didn't do any deep research into the topic it got me wondering if that period of time was the birth place of the gas mask fetish. Did 2020 give birth to a cuddles fetish? I wonder what history will say.

I have always been a cuddles kinda guy but in a swinging context I have always been a little bit hesitant to cuddle as much as I would like for fear of my intentions being misread as romantic in the conventional sense of the word. I suppose its a bit like kissing someone's wife/girlfriend a bit too long it just looks weird and it can create unnecessary discomfort and tension. So I'd only ever kiss beyond the point of acceptable etiquette if the partner is a cuckold oh and the kiss would last even longer if I'm making him watch while sucking my cock mmmmmmmmmm. Got a bit carried away there.........now where was I?

Ah yes back to the topic at hand. During lockdown I did get into the odd conversation with women and like me some of them did indeed have the same ache to meet just for cuddles. So although it was never acted upon it did get me thinking. Just as having a Fuck Buddy or Friends With Benefits is seen as a complication free way to connect sexually. Couldn't a Cuddle Buddy serve a similar...ish role?

Its hilarious but I think I feel more self conscious coming out of the closet as a cuddles craver than I did as a Bull that also has deep cravings to suck cock. But it is was it is, covid unlocked a need in me that is greater than I realised and I feel a responsibility to be true and honest with myself just as much as I did when it dawned on me that I wasn't heterosexual.

Anyway lets transport ourselves back to my coffee with the married woman. At first things went really well we'd spent the best part of two hours in Costa chatting and enjoying each others company. However when dropping her home in the privacy of my car she admitted that her real agenda was to find men she felt comfortable enough to fuck as well as snuggle with for hours. 

Something switched in my brain. When I know a woman is "naughty" I'm like a moth to a flame. I instantly got horny and my cock was now pressing slightly painfully against my jeans. What should have been a friendly good bye kiss on the cheek ended up as a very passionate kiss I was soooooo ready to fuck at that point...........damn it!!

This may sound weird and you may be thinking "what the fuck are you crazy?" but in my quest for a genuine cuddle buddy I don't want penetrative sex to be on the agenda. I wrestled for a few days but then ultimately decided that it would be best not to take things further with the lady. Yes in the heat of the moment I'd probably go with the flow but on the flip side I don't want a cuddle buddy who is secretly feeling flustered and frustrated if a fuck isn't the final outcome. A sensual tease for some is something to be savored but for others it feels like vindictive torture. That's reason number one for deciding not to meet her again. Reason number two, I class myself as Ethically Non-Monogamous so although over the years I have fucked (polite cough) my fair share of other men's wives and girlfriends with relish it has never knowingly been without their consent, blessing or encouragement. 

Although I wouldn't throw a tantrum if a cuddle buddy transitioned into a FWB. I'm  still very specific in my desire for a platonic...ish cuddle buddy to bond with on a deep level too. I see it as one of several interesting ways to connect with a woman and I always love an adventure.

My quest continues.

A Polyamorous Bi Black Bull. Is That A Thing??? Part 3 of 3

........ on the surface Katherine appeared to have every non negotiable quality that I'm looking for in a woman. Intelligence, a kind heart and an open enquiring mind both in general and sexually. Not only does she have those qualities in abundance but she appeared to have so many "nice to have" qualities too. She sounded too good to be true so I decided to be cautious but to also keep an open mind.

One of my biggest areas of concern centred around whether or not Katherine would be comfortable knowing that as our relationship developed I would still be on the look out for both couples and single ladies. Its a bit of a tricky balancing act because although I wanted to be free to meet other people another priority was to give the relationship the opportunity to grow to it full potential if  things continued to go well.

We quickly came to the conclusion that for an indefinite period we would focus on getting to know each other. So if anyone were to be a fly on the wall when we were together they would be forgiven for thinking that we were a conventional couple dating and getting to know each other. However we did still continue to have separate adventures. The only condition being that all adventures with new people would include sober conversations about sexual health so that all concerned can continue to have their cake and eat it.

Although we were not attending swinging parties together we would share information. This was in part necessary because Katherine is still relatively new to the lifestyle and I have been using the benefit of my experience to guide her so as to help ensure that her experiences are as positive as possible. As an added bonus knowing that she has been seeing other men and women is a major turn on for me. What is torment for some is for me nothing short of pure lust filled bliss. 

Perhaps more often than not any time I meet Katherine there is a strong probability that another mans cock has been inside her. Want to know how much of a turn on this is for me? Put it this way while dating Katherine there was a period of time in which I was also dating a sexy black lady. She too was in her early days of exploring swinging and ethical non-monogamy. On one particular Saturday night Daniella had attended a BMFC interracial party by herself. I wanted to be sure she was ok so I told her to text me the following morning. When she did she said that she had been a very bad girl. I told her to stop talking and that I would be at her hotel room in an hour. I forbade her from giving me any more details until my cock was inside her.

I got to her hotel room with breakfast and boy was I eager to find out what she had been up to, she was just as eager to tell me. We finished our breakfast and then I slowly began teasing her pussy with my cock. She told me about how she had danced provocatively with two black men and that by the end of the night she had fucked three complete strangers. The lust I felt as she relayed her adventure was so intense my head spun. 

I'm forever saying that I love bad girls and have no time for good girls. That's not entirely true as it's also something of a crude over simplification.

Who I crave and most desire are sexually liberated nice women. To my mind something magical happens when a woman feels free enough to unshackle herself from guilt and simply enjoys the pleasures of sex. Its truly a wonder to behold and be a part of. I think this leads neatly on to one of the reasons why I am so sexually drawn to married women. 

Not being a woman all I have to go on is a bit of clumsy empathy. But with the way society is structured to impose guilt on women I imagine it must feel incredibly liberating to be in an environment where you can let go of all inhibition and set free ones deepest and darkest sexual desires safe in the knowledge that no judgement or negative consequences result from it. It must be the most amazing feeling. Its certainly a joy to be a part of.

Dipping into what is seen as taboo is partly why I so enjoy making cuckold handle my cock when I fuck their wife/girlfriend for the first time. For me its as symbolic as it is erotic to have the male half of a couple be the one to guild my cock into the woman he so loves.

On the flip side I am besides myself with excitement at the prospect of one day soon guiding another mans cock into my girlfriend's sweet pussy. I have seen one guy fuck her at yet another BMFC party but the novelty very quickly wore off. She too has now also seen me fuck another woman at a highly erotic couples party that we recently attended. Boy was that an exciting night. Just short of a year into our relationship that crucial question has now been answered for both of us. How will we each feel at the site of seeing the other being kissed or fucked by someone else. We both passed the test and can say with confidence that compersion is now fully interwoven within our relationship.

Anyway back to the interracial party. Katherine had a wonderful time being fucked by the guy. He had a good body and fucked my lady with great vigour but because he was straight and didn't have a collaborative "work together to please the lady" mindset boredom set in quite quickly. So I politely kicked him out of the room. Because of that slight mishap we now have new guidelines in place. If we're together and she see's a guy she likes and he is straight I won't hang around but just pop in and out of the room. But if he's a bicurious cock sucker like me then all three of us will feast to our hearts content.

A Polyamorous Bi Black Bull. Is That A Thing??? Part 2 of 3

 .....so at this point you may be asking yourself how my personal circumstances have changed. Well once again I am in what I hope ends up being a long lasting relationship, the longer the better ideally. Although being single during lockdown was painful on many levels it did give me the opportunity to step back and reflect on what direction I would like my life to go in once things got back to any kind of normality.

I knew from past experience that as a single male a sex life that consisted entirely of swinging wasn't a good fit for me. I remember sometimes returning home from an adventure with a couple and although the experience would have been a lot of fun I'd sometimes be aching for a good cuddle and particularly with couples not that well known to me that need could very easily be misunderstood. Perhaps not so much in an adventure with a single lady but even then there could be room for misinterpretation. 

However, the prize for the most empty feeling without doubt would relate to nights out at a swinging club in which I felt no connection with anyone. I'd be driving home in the early hours of the morning thinking to myself  "what the fuck are you doing Danny?" boy did it feel shit.

Yet on the flip side I also know that when I've tried to live a more conventional life I would end up feeling like a part of me was suppressed and unfulfilled. Therein lies the dilemma how was I to feed and nurture both extremes. At one end is the ache for genuine companionship, affection hell even the "L" word and at the other end encoded within my DNA is my dark wickedly mischievous side and its need for an outlet to express itself. 

So there was me with a new sense of purpose on two very distinct missions. On the one hand a desire for companionship and on the other that need I have to be with another man's woman. If you have read any of my previous blogs you will know that the woman is ideally someone’s wife and that I have a strong preference for wives who enjoy being fucked by me in the presence of their husband at lease occasionally if not all the time  (even the phrase "my wife" can make my cock twitch 😈).

I updated both my dating and swinging profiles with a sense of purpose and excitement wondering which mission would bear fruit first.

Whatever couple I would eventually find certain requirement would have to be met. Priority number one they must must MUST live less than and hours drive from me. For me one of the most frustrating aspects of covid was the fact that just before lockdown I had met two amazing cuckold couples but to get to either of them it would have been a two hour illegal drive. Had either of them lived closer to home I could have conceivably had a covid safe fuck bubble and all the time in the world to get to know them 😈. 

By the way getting to know a couple well is one of the aspects of cuckolding that I really enjoy. It's a slow process and one that I like to savour. This is why I ever so regretfully swipe left mentally when approached by couples who live too far away from me even if they would otherwise be an ideal match.

For my companionship mission there are also must have qualities in any woman that I'd want to be with. Besides living reasonably local to me she would also need to be fully accepting of the more mischievous side of my sexuality. So in order to minimise awkward conversations my dating profile made it clear that I was non-monogamous. I also made a point of only swiping right if a woman's profile said the same. I'm hard wired with a sense of fair play so the more adamant a woman was about her non-monogamous mindset the more comfortable I'd feel swiping right.

That's how Katherine came into my life. She told me that one of the things that made me stand out was the fact that my profile stated that I'm looking for a woman that wants me NOT a woman that needs me. She lives a busy life and our first date was via Zoom. Although not face to face the chemistry was instant. She pointed out that she too was on a journey and that she had concluded that polyamory was the right path for her. It was very clear that although she was looking for something meaningful she had no intention making her pussy exclusive to me. She also didn't flinch when I spoke about my need to meet couples and that I am bicurious.........FUCK!!!!! I had to pinch myself......had I struck gold?.........

Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 1 of 3

The older I get the more I try to distance myself from labels because they can sometimes be so inadequate, one dimensional and limiting. That said sometimes for the sake of clarity one is forced to either use or acknowledge them. One of the most prevalent topics of discussion that comes up again and again in the Fabswinger forums that I sometimes chat on or observe is cock size. Especially the size of black dicks.

The term BBC used to rub me up the wrong way and no that’s not just because by Bull standards my cock barely makes it into the big cock category. That’s right  I’m a black man with an “average” cock.

What?????  Yep some of you may be hearing this for the very first time. Are you sitting down? Some black men have.........average cocks.......now brace yourself there's more......some black men have small cocks.

At this point some of you may be thinking how could I possibly cuckold someone if I "only" have and average size dick. The simple flipant answer to that question would be. I don't know I just do. I've been swinging for a very long time and for many a year when chatting online the very first question people would ask me, often as a conversation opener was "how big is your BBC?" 

Over time my response transitioned from an answer, to a mental roling of my eyes, to a groan to a....well you get the picture. I basically got sick and tired being addressed so rudely. Sure ask me about my cock and what I look like but as a start of a conversation I consider it the height of disrespect.

So what did I do? I decided to nip it in the bud. The swinging profile I have on sites like Black to White and Hotwifing make it clear what size cock I have. Just as I am openly bicurious, I openly state the size of my cock too. My basic attitude is "lifes too short this is me take me as I am or don't". What effect did it have? Well a good one. The constant trickle of stupid questions asked by idiots came to a stop. Not completely but dramatically enough for it to no longer be a pain in the arse. 

Almost magically the caliber of conversation from the people approaching me improved. Conversations flowed naturally and questions asked were so much more mature in nature. Now don't get me wrong. If a woman or couple has a thing for black guys with premium sized big cocks I'm not going to hold that against them we all have a right to like what we like. After all I myself am bicurious and when I meet a bi couple as opposed to a cuckold couple its nice if the guy has a yummily weigthy cock that I can stroke or suck.

Anyway back to the main topic. As a single male in persuit of hotwives...especially hotwives that may potentially have a cuckold husband isn't the most basic of requirements to be the proud owner of a magnificently proportioned dick?

Basically

Does size matter?

The answer, MY answer is in part two of this blog.....

From straight Bull to Club Biversity cock sucking bisexual interracial party host? WTF?? P/T 1 of 2

I'm holding my breath, crossing my fingers and touching wood for good luck. In just a few days I will finally find out if my experiment has worked. To the best of my knowledge no one has ever hosted a swinging party that focuses primarily on bi and bi curious single black men and the swingers that want to have fun with them.

Yes there are bisexual parties and yes there are interracial parties but to the best of my knowledge the two have never been combined. Why is that? Based on my past experiences as a Bull I am convinced that the demand is out there. Back when I was still single I would be contacted on an almost daily bases by couples almost desperate to meet black men who are ok with having their cock sucked by the male half of a couple too. Bi and especially cuckold couples would complain to me in frustration about the fact that the black guys they were seeing wouldn't entertain the thought of taking things to the next level.

For me this was great. My swinging profile made it clear that I was happy to be serviced by cuckolds and to ensure that nothing was left to doubt, I changed my profile picture to one that showed me having my cock sucked by a masked cuckold. Were it not for the fact that most couples contacting me lived miles from London I would have had a lot more encounters than I did. As you may know from previous blogs that was a major source of frustration for me at the time.

Fast forward to the present, as one half of a couple that swings the situation has changed to a very different dynamic. We're both swingers but some of our tastes differ. She feel more at ease when we have fun with single guys and my preference is to have fun with other swinging couples both straight and bi. One of the ways we compromise is to never knowingly have fun with single guys unless they are bi curious. Everyone involved gets to suck cock and my girlfriend gets to have DP and DVP fun, both of which make her insanely horny.

Another area in which our preferences differ is that the idea of private and hotel meets with swingers makes her very nervous. However for me as a long time swinger it feels much more natural. When I first started swinging, clubs did not dominate the swinging landscape the way they do now. Most swingers got together at private parties and hotels.

This brings me back to some of the inspirations behind the birth of Club Biversity. One being the fact that I wanted to find a more effective way for us to get to know more like minded swinging couples.

Another and very important motivation behind the creation of Club Biversity is the fact that guys having fun with each other at swinging clubs is heavily frowned upon. Now don't get me wrong. There are a lot of open-minded swingers out there. However there are enough swingers with prejudices to make it impossible to relax completely as a bi or bi curious male when attending swinging clubs and events. Even on so called bi nights at clubs guys have come up to me with something negative to say when they have seen guys sucking or fucking each other......seriously????

Anyway, I didn't truly appreciate how on guard I was at conventional swinging parties until the first time I attended a monthly bi night that actively vetted the guests to ensure that only bisexual males got an invite.

FUCK!!!!!!!!

That was a night of revelations and one that I will never forget.......

The path to yet more pleasurable filth as a swinging couple PART 4

........as mentioned previously although I was happy to attend swinging events on a go with the flow basis, in order to increase the chances of us having possible foursome with couples, I felt that the occasional nudge to balance things out was required.

Our first couples only club event was a bit of a mixed success. We went to the VA club which is without doubt our favourite venue. It has a very large jaccuzi and all the play areas are out in the open. So if you are feeling in any way shy or self conscious this is not the right place to be. I first heard about this club when I was still single and my feelings about it were mixed. I had heard good things about it but wasn't sure how I would feel about the fact that there was no way of hiding yourself away for a more intimate experience.

However I need not have worried. I now feel that because there is nowhere to hide it adds to the sexy atmosphere of the club. In most clubs once it gets beyond midnight all the lockable areas are in use and often one of two things can happen. If you have been taking your time to get to know someone and now feel ready to have fun with them. Then trying to find a free area can be a rather frustrating mood killing experience.

Another thing that can sometimes happen is that it can make the club feel all but empty. So as a single male if you go on a night when not that many people attend and you haven't really clicked with anyone before the late hours, you can very quickly get bored. Why? because you're not having fun with anyone and you can't even have a little perv because everything is taking place behind locked doors.

However because The VA club is designed with an open layout. The is always something of interest to see. I also suspect that because there is nowhere to hide it brings out the exhibitionist in everyone and takes away some of the pressure that one might feel in other swinging establishments.

Anyway as indicated previously, our first visit to VA on a typical couples only night was a bit of a mixed bag. Without the presence of single males the atmosphere in a swinging club is very different. Couples are are lot more hesitant in engaging with each other. Although this is sometimes out of choice, more often than not it is due to shyness and not being sure how to engage with others.

You will find that men are much more respectful when approaching women. However I strongly suspect this has more to do with them not wanting to annoy their partner than them being miraculously more respectful of women than their single male counterparts. Either way, the mood is very different.

Were I to give advice to couples taking their first baby steps into swinging I would probably suggest that they go to a club on a couples night first. It is certainly a lot less intimidating. However for some it would be rather boring and something of an anti-climax.

Although we engaged a few couples in conversation the main source of excitement was the fact that we were able to fuck and watch other people fucking in close proximity to us. So it was more of a voyeuristic event than anything else.

Having said that there was one rather controversial moment that did put us to the test. At one point on one of the beds Foxy was giving me one of her legendary blow jobs. This was closely observed by a middle aged white couple who had come to sit right next to us to watch. As soon as Foxy paused for a break the woman leant over and started to eagerly suck my cock. she had clearly been waiting for an opportunity and she seized it.

It felt amazing but I was also keenly aware of the fact that the woman hadn't asked either of us for permission to suck. I pulled Foxy closer to me and quietly asked her if she was ok with the situation. I can't quite remember what she mumbled to me but her face was all the answer I needed. I'd be lying if I said no will power was needed but at that point I instantly told her to stop and we moved to another part of the club.

There we sat for a while and discussed what had happened. Basically Foxy's sentiment was very much like mine when we are dealing with single males in clubs. Had the lady shown her respect by engaging with her she would have been happy to let her give me a blow job. However because she felt ignored and disrespected there was no way she was going to be happy with the situation.

Influenced in part by that incident we never take anything for granted when involving others at clubs. There may one day be a time where an expression or slight gesture from the other will be enough for the other to know its ok to engage with another person or couple. But for now we feel it safest and best to expressly seek permission from the other.

Another thing that we learnt from that couples only night and others that we have attended is how much more difficult it is to find a couple to have fun with than it is single males. The law of averages means that it is easy to bump into at least one single male at a club who is half decent and you can have fun with. However with couples just leaving things to chance has significantly lower chance of success. Its no coincidence that the very first time we had a proper foursome it was with people already know to us. Now that was fun. I will tell you all about that adventure in the next part of this blog......

The path to yet more pleasurable filth as a swinging couple PART 3

.......the foremost questions in my mind related to how Foxy would feel if an opportunity came where there might be the possibility of me fucking another woman. Naturally from time to time it would be a topic of conversation. Particularly on the weekends that we attended swinging events. Foxy said that she would probably be ok with it when the time came, but that the idea of it made her very nervous.

Its because of this that I decided to pace things out and try not to knowingly push Foxy into any kind of situation that would make her feel uncomfortable. Fortunately I'm a patient man so waiting for the right moment wasn't going to be a problem for me. Now don't get me wrong, that didn't mean it was always going to be easy. After all, I have been a swinger for well over a decade and always loved the thrill of meeting and having fun with new people. As the months passed there would sometimes be moments when the desire to have fun that included other woman would increase. Not so much out of a desire to fuck anyone in particular but more because I wanted questions answered and wanted to come out of what in same ways was a state of limbo.

One thing however was certain. I was in no doubt that whatever the answers to the unanswered questions might be. I had no intention bringing things to an end. This was the real deal. Loving and being loved by someone you have so much in common with and get on so well with is so overwhelmingly wonderful. Were you to encounter us in our moments of normality you would be forgiven for wanting to throw up. We can be and often are sickeningly gushy with each other and cuddle constantly. I love that with a passion.

As a single male I had all the freedom I wanted. I was free to meet and have fun with anyone I clicked with and answered to no one but myself. By nature I enjoy the company of women so when you're a swinger and have the additional perk of being able to fuck some of the people you get along with.....well whats not to like?

However along with that freedom comes a downside. One might not even be aware of it on a conscious level. But over time it can creep up at you and bite you when you least expect it. That thing is loneliness. As a typically proud man I don't like admitting to it but have to acknowledge moments in time when I have felt a little smothered by it. However even when I was single I was fortunate enough not to be overwhelmed by it on too regular a basis.

This is for several reasons. I have to acknowledge the fact that I have friends and family that I can fall back on in the most extreme situations, However I also have a very strong and disciplined mind. I don't say that to boast and neither do I say that under the delusion that I am immune from cracking under the "wrong" circumstances. As with any other negative emotion I have ways of dealing with it. Not by making the mistake of trying to suppress it, but facing it head on and confronting it. All the while being careful not to give that negative state of mind too much nurturing.

So if it turned out to be the case that Foxy would never feel at ease with me fucking other women. The question wasn't if the relationship would last. But more a case of exploring what form our swinging activities would take.

Option one would be to still attend swinging clubs, soak up the sexually charged atmosphere but never involve anyone else when having fun with each other. Option two would be to focus our energies on meeting single men for MMF threesome fun. The third option would be to indulge in soft swing non-penetrative sex with other people.

Option one to me felt like one of those ideas that might sound good in theory but the actual execution may end up being problematic. Particularly if we were to go to swinging clubs on a regular bases. Were one of us to get too turned on by our surroundings it could end up being a source of frustration.

Option two sounded a little better Our first proper threesome with a single guy had been an extremely horny experience. Were this to be repeated on a semi-regular bases I could picture us having some extremely naughty adventures. However, from my perspective this would be with the condition that the male in question was like me a big fan of oral bi fun. That said I could see myself potentially feeling short changed and perhaps even resentful in the medium to long term.

Why? Because although some of my cravings now include meeting a respectful guy with a nice cock for Foxy and me to share and suck on together. For me fun with guys will always come a poor second to fun with women. Besides, as a former Bull if all our full ended up being with single males. Wouldn't that make me dangerously close to being a cuckold? .........."fuck no, ain't gonna let that happen any time soon." The same also applies from Foxy's perspective. Although she is bi-curious she has pointed out that the idea of threesomes with woman would be unfulfilling from her perspective too.

That left option three to consider. The nature of most of our adventures with others were what you would call soft swing in nature. Always extremely horny and I never walked away wishing for more to have happened, except when straight single guys were involved. Broadly speaking, when it comes to swinging I have already been there and done it all. This felt right and balanced, I could happily take this path with Foxy and not feel like I had missed out in any way.

One such soft swing encounter was at a well known naturist spa in NW London frequented by swingers . It is one of two spa that we like to go to when feeling a little horny but also quite chilled so we never go with any real agenda or sense of expectation. In terms of the decor it is the nicer of the two but not normally favoured by me because the single males that go to the venue have a reputation for being a bit too pushy when trying to ingratiate themselves with single ladies and couples.

Being as experienced in the world of swinging as I am. Handling pushy single guys is not a problem for me. But I would rather be relaxed than on guard duty when at a spa. When we arrived we did our usual ritual of taking a shower and dividing our time between one of the smallish circular Jacuzzi's and the larger pool shaped Jacuzzi, this could probably house a few dozen people.

As usual, everywhere we went we were followed. This is almost always a source of amusement for Foxy and me. The behaviour is always predictable and for me even more amusing when the guys think they are being subtle or stealth like.

On this particular evening there was quite a high percentage of black guys. This appealed to the rather wicked side of my nature that enjoys teasing. Foxy has what I would call a black man friendly body. See's all tits n ass with the face of an angel. I am now resigned to the fact that if she goes anywhere and black guys are present she is going to get looks in her direction....and that's just in normal daily life.

The single guys following us around that night were more respectable than I expected given the venue. Yes it was obvious why they were being so nice to me. But they were playing by the rules that I lived by when I was single. Always to be respectful, friendly and not carry yourself with an air of entitlement just because there were naked women in the vicinity.

As the night progressed I gradually relaxed and switched from guard dog to relaxed mode. I was also feeling rather proud to have my sexy girlfriend by my side. It was bringing out the horny exhibitionist  in us both so when we got up to find one of the small play rooms I made no attempt to lock the door.

Before long one of the black guys approached us and asked if it would be alright for him to watch. I said yes and as he entered he attempted to shut the door. A common tactic used by single guys to secure their prize and ensure that no one else ruined things for them. I told him to leave it open which he did. He stood at a respectable distance watched us climb onto the bed and started to stoke himself  as Foxy began sucking my cock.

This was a turn on for me not only because it felt good but also because I had positioned myself so that he would get a good view of Foxy's delicious curves as she sucked me. Foxy was as wet with arousal as I was hard. I invited the young black guy to slip his cock in Foxy's mouth which she happily sucked on with enthusiasm. Before long and as expected a couple of the other black guys came and watched through the gap in the door which had remained slightly open.

Soon after one of the Spa managers walked past and said that for safely reasons the door to the room had to be closed, most likely because the corridor was being obstructed. In days gone past I would most likely have told everyone to vacate at this point but on this evening I was feeling particularly mischievous.

The door shut resulting in the small and now very hot and stuffy room now being filled by three other black men. Besides myself the one already being sucked by Foxy and one white guy. Each one of them had their cock in their hand. 

Foxy continued to expertly attended to the guy's cock with her warm wet mouth. After a short while I flipped her around so that her glorious arse was in the air and positioned myself behind her. Oh what a glorious sight.

Foxy knows that I love showing off her arse and being a major exhibitionist I knew that having an audience was a major turn on for her. I could tell she was in a world of her own. Blissfully getting great pleasure from the fact that she was free to indulge in one of her favourite and most skillful activities, sucking cock. By the end of our horny session she had put a massive smile on the faces of four horny guys.

However. As horny as the situation was I was mindful of two things that night. When it comes to swinging events due to sheer numbers if one is interested in finding single males to have fun with, one will never struggle. With single women out of the equation the only way I was going to get an opportunity to play with women would be if there were other interesting couples hoping to have fun in a foursome.

There lies the problem. When it comes to couples any experienced swinging couple will tell you that it is easier said than done. Why because when it comes to foursome fun. Finding two couples equally interested in each other at a chance club or spa encounter is extremely rare. More often than not its something that has to be planned in advance.

With that in mind I began thinking of ways to try and make such encounters a more realistic possibility. 

Naturally I shared my thoughts with Foxy. I explained that although I had really enjoyed our adventure in the spa. I asked if she woukd be open to a little tweak here and there to balance things out a little.

Realistically I knew that opportunities to play with couples would never match those of meeting single males. But things could be done to at least nudge things a little bit more in the other direction.  

From this point onward we would focus the majority of our swinging adventures on two types of events. Couples nights and bi nights. Why bi nights? Because as horny as our fun in the spa was. I was somewhat frustrated by the fact that I didn't feel free to join in when Foxy sucked the guys cocks. A couple of them had lovely examples that I would really have liked to have had in my mouth too.

Not long after we attended our first couples only swinging event.....

The path to yet more pleasurable filth as a swinging couple PART 2

..........that moment finally came. Its several months ago now so I can't quite remember if he asked or I made the suggestion that he get a condom and fuck my Foxy. I do remember being nervous and wondering what impact this would have on our relationship. We switched ends so as he prepared himself I slipped my cock into Foxy's warm wet mouth. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but Foxy's cock sucking skills are truly special. I say this as a man that said for years that with regard to blow jobs I could take it or leave it. I know know that it all depends on the person doing the sucking.

Foxy sucks my cock just how I like it. Unrushed and with true enthusiasm and relish about the fact that she has a hard cock in her mouth. The guy was now ready and gently eased his cock into Foxy's wet pussy. I looked on with feelings of both lust and jealousy. Some swingers say they never feel jealousy when they see their lady being fucked. That's not me and based on past experience I don't think it will ever be me. I think I will always feel a little twinge and in my twisted perverted mind I think it adds a sprinkle of spice to the decadent pleasure of being in such situations. 

For me its quite simple, if the person expressing interest in Foxy respects her, me and the relationship I can be very accommodating. If he doesn't and feels that showing respect is an affront to his pride or ego I will be guarded and quite frankly he can fuck off.

Anyway Foxy seemed to be enjoying the situation too. She moaned with pleasure and sucked my cock with yet more relish. The whole scenario was a major turn on and when we reflected on it afterwards it strongly influenced my decision to say to her that we never knowingly engage in a threesome with a single male if he is straight. Except in very special circumstances. Perhaps if I had cuckold or stronger voyeuristic tendencies it  wouldn't be an issue but when someone is fucking my Foxy I find myself in danger of getting bored or restless. Why because I find myself beginning to feel like a bystander. However if the guy is bi he can suck my cock while fucking which to me feels far more inclusive.

Right back to the evenings events. I revealed Foxy's desire to be DVP fucked by two men at once and the guy jumped at the opportunity.  We got him to lay on the bed so that Foxy could position herself and straddle his eager cock. Once they were ready I positioned myself behind her and marvelled. Marvelled as I always do at the vision of perfection that is Foxy's arse....fuck!!!! Foxy was soaking wet with anticipation so gently guiding my cock into her tight pussy wasn't too much of a problem. Helping my girlfriend make one of her fantasies come true gave me so much pleasure. She was obviously highly aroused and that in turn was a turn on for me too. The other couple on the bed looked on with interest but it was only the woman that occasionally joined in by playing with Foxy's breasts and engaging in the occasional kiss. A few other people were also in the room watching but they always maintained a respectable distance.

After some time we changed positions and I was the one under Foxy. Quite frankly I preferred the previous position. However I am sure that he did too and I always think it is important to ensure that everyone has their fair share of fun in a threesome. After a while we stopped for a break, at which point the guy asked if we would be ok with him fucking Foxy up the arse. We wouldn't really have minded but I instinctively said no. Its the Dom in me, never too far beneath the surface regardless of the situation and the Dom in me never grants everything requested of me by a person, certainly not all at once anyway.

The guy then made a different request. Although he had previously stated that he was 99% straight he said he would like to try sucking my cock for the experience. He erm.....took to it like a duck to water. It is also why we now always refer to him as Mr 99% whenever he comes up in conversation. He sucked me while Foxy sucked him. Oh the joy......

That night as we drove home we were buzzing with excitement. Another man had fucked the woman I love and both of us were comfortable with the situation. We chatted excitedly for the whole journey and although it was a working week night and very late by this point we fucked with intense joy and passion when we got home.

The pleasure of that night was the topic of conversation for some days afterwards as we knew we had taken a progressive step forward in our relationship. Its one thing to talk about the theory of having a relationship with someone you love that includes swinging. Putting it into practice is the real test. As far as we were concerned we had passed that test with flying colours. We felt safe in the knowledge that when the conditions were right. Single males could play a role in our sexual adventures.

All very exciting but some questions still remained unanswered at this point.....

How to swing as a couple and not fuck it up P/T 3 of 3

........Although I had been part of a swinging couple before. This was to be the first time I had a swinging partner at a time when my personal circumstances allowed me to be free to really explore where it might lead.

However, as hinted at previously there were some potential challenges on the way. Past experiences made Foxy wary of fully committing to the relationship and on a sexual level accepting me as her Dom.

On my part one of the biggest challenges was how would I feel about Foxy fucking other men. My past indicated that, the closer I got to a woman, the more complex my feeling would be about the idea of other men fucking her. By the end of our first month together our first big challenge presented itself to us.

Although I love the world of BDSM and kink, from my perspective there is one big negative: that being that at many events full sex is either banned or at best tolerated. Now that's a word I have never been a fan of. Anyway I had previously been made aware of an event called Subversion Noir. It had a strict kink dress code and it was no holds barred as far as sex and kink was concerned too. I really wanted to go and so did Foxy. Unfortunately she had already made arrangements to go with an existing fuck buddy. Now this fuck buddy just happened to be the first black guy she had ever been with......damn!

There's this thing. I don't know if it extends much into the vanilla world but within the swinging world us black guys feel a great sense of pride and satisfaction when we arrange to meet a white woman or couple and know it is to be their first adventure with a black man. It's not the least bit politically correct but boy does it feel good. We make an extra special effort to make a good impression, so as to reinforce that all too commonly used phrase......."once you go black............" I knew without a doubt that this guy would be very proud of the fact that he had taken Foxy's black cock virginity away from her. This was to be a big challenge for me.

As a person and as a swinger I have a code that I try to live by. Balance and fairness has always been very important to me. In a swinging context it's quite simple. If within a relationship and I want to be free to fuck other women, my partner should be free to fuck other men too. If I want to be free to keep seeing women that I have fucked in the past, then my partner should be free to do the same.

It was within this mindset that I assured Foxy that she should go ahead with her previous arrangement and that we would all meet at the club. However this was to be with two conditions 1) That this guy should call me so that I can get a sense of who he is and 2) That there would be no fucking between the two of them if I didn't feel comfortable with the situation once we got to the club.

The night of the event came but by the time we all got to the club I was in an ice cold fury. I won't bore you with the details but basically the jealous possessive side of my nature had been triggered. In part because jealousy has no requirement for reason or logic. Other contributing factors were Foxy and the guys lack of swinging experience and the etiquette normally instinctively understood by more experienced swingers.

After some coaxing from Foxy I managed to calm down enough to assess the situation with a bit more sanity. I suggested that we should all have a chat to clear the air. After all this was to be our first time out as a swinging couple and I didn't want it to end on such a sour note. We all agreed to find somewhere private to chat but on route Foxy's friend was approached by a woman who had taken a shine to him at a previous event. I myself tried to kill the time while waiting by chatting with the woman's female sub.

When I looked over at Foxy I could sense that something wasn't quite right. I wasn't sure if she was getting a bit of the green eyed monster too, so I tried to engage her in the conversation. That didn't work and after a short while she wandered off. I tried to disengage from the sub as quickly as possible without appearing rude and went off to find Foxy.

When I got to her she was in no mood to talk. I was basically told to leave her alone. She had previously told me that when she is angry or upset trying to talk to her would most likely just add fuel to the fire. I considered respecting her wishes but on our first night out in a seedy no holds barred club there was no way that was going to happen. I followed her for what felt like a life time fully aware that to any keen observer I would have looked comically pathetic.

I didn't care. I just thought to myself . You STUPID STUPID idiot you've gone and fucked it up now. The sense of panic I felt at that moment was terrifying and the fact I was so scared told me all I needed to know. I wanted Foxy in my life big time. This was not the time to play it cool. Regardless of how embarrassed I was about being in a situation like this in such a public place. At one point Foxy had got herself something to drink. I sat beside her and slowly tried to get her to talk to me. She explained that she was upset both with me and her fuck buddy friend. Our conversations with the two women  had left her feeling like a spare wheel and gave her the impression that we had not taken the current explosive situation seriously.

Eventually she opened up and we got talking. Yes wires had been crossed but on my side the green eyed monster had played a big role too. This was of great concern to me for a number of reasons. Thoughts of my previous failed swinging relationship flooded my mind and I began to wonder. When I have strong feeling for a woman do I have the right temperament and inner sense of security that will allow me to "share?" I thought to myself. If the answer to that question is no, then I'm truly fucked. I love swinging but I now also knew that I needed love in my life too. Was it really not possible for me to have both?

I put these thoughts to one side and decided to focus on ensuring that the rest of the evening was not a disaster. We wondered around trying to find Foxy's fuck buddy but when we couldn't find him we decided to just focus on enjoying the night. However there was to be another challenge that night. Before we had officially become a couple Foxy had met another black guy for a get to know you meal and he was likely to be at the club that night too. He eventually turned up and introduced himself to me for the first time. I was already wary of him because to date he had not introduced himself to me on FabSwingers, even though he was aware of my existence.

Call me a hardened cynic if you like but I have been in the swinging scene long enough to have come to the  unfortunate conclusion that to assume everyone has honourable intent is to be a fool. That said although the scene has some genuinely nice people. It is also full of sharks, wolves and hyenas and that among them some do have a sense of honour. So I always try to keep an open mind and give people the benefit of doubt.

This guy had a lot going for him. He was an intelligent professional and had the kind of body that pisses other guys off lol. BUT he knew how to play the swinging game. He was was patient, respectful of my relationship with Foxy and engaged me in conversation. His body language didn't convey any sense of entitlement or expectation so my guard was lowered. This is one of those areas where I think there is often a misunderstanding between swinging couples. The woman will often say "it doesn't matter what the other guy is thinking what matters is do you trust me? However from the Alpha males point of view that's not the point either. It's about the other guy showing due respect.

This guy did. So after a while I all but threw them together in one of the clubs glory hole booths. Foxy loves giving blow jobs with a passion and gets off on the fantasy of pleasing multiple guys in a glory hole. It was now my mission to make my lady happy so I grabbed the opportunity. Before long she was on her knees with this good looking black guys cock in her mouth. It was pitch black so I couldn't see anything, which was very frustrating, but from the sounds both of them were making they were having a good time. I wanted to join in and give him a suck too but I knew him to be straight so I had to hold back. After what seemed like ages he came in Foxy's mouth and they both left the booth. He had a massive grin on his face and thanked us both for the experience. Just how I used to behave with swinging and cuckold couples when I was single. Had this not been our first adventure in a swinging context I would have let them fuck but I believe in taking things slowly.

After chatting for a bit I told the guy that we wanted some time to ourselves which he respected. We wandered off and after playing on a swing we found a dimly lit area where I wanted to show Foxy off. She has the most amazing arse and I wanted people to see it. Before long we were approached by a few single guys who began caressing her body and massaging her tits. I picked one out and asked him to go with Foxy to one of the glory holes. None were available so I told her to suck him off in one of the busy corridors. She unzipped him and started to treat him with one of her magical blow jobs. They really are that good. She does it wish so much relish and enthusiasm you are in no doubt that she loves the feel of a nice cock in her mouth. As she did this I asked the guy if he was orally bi and he said that he was straight too, damn it!!

I think this was probably the moment when I decided to only knowingly seek out single straight men on very rare occasions at future events. Yes its fun watching Foxy suck cock but she loves it so much she looses all sense of time and after a while I just get bored watching.

That night and for several days later we went over the events of the night. We had both discussed the direction of our relationship beforehand and concluded that frank and honest communication was essential if we were to stand any chance of staying together as a couple. This applies to any couple but when you add swinging to the mix it becomes all the more crucial.

We concluded that although painful at the beginning. The night had been a major success. We had learnt a few things about each other and from a personal point of view I had a clearer picture of where my boundaries lay. I will explain this in more detail in my next blog. In that I will also describe the first bi party we attended in which Foxy got to experience another of her fantasies for the very first time.......lucky girl ;-)