That Unspoken Taboo That Scares The Shit Out Of Most....... 😳👎🏿 or 😁👍🏿

Across both swinging and fetish spaces, I've noticed something curious. We celebrate our deviance. We embrace kinks, edge play, fluid bonding, group dynamics, identity explorations, and more. And yet — there’s still one thing that sits deeper in the shadows than all the rest.

One desire that people either run from, deny, or pursue quietly, almost apologetically with a sense of self conscious shame and embarrassment.

I call it the ultimate taboo.

It gets whispered in late-night messages, hinted at in cryptic profiles, and avoided altogether by those who fear the intensity it can unleash. Hey I can empathize understand why. Much like fire or nuclear energy, it holds immense power. Mishandled, it burns and devastates. Ignored, it festers. But when the right conditions are present? It can become a limitless source of......

Let me be clear: I don’t pursue this desire out of desperation and oh do I try my best not to try to light a spark where the wood is wet. Not every connection is meant to hold this kind of fire. But when the conditions are right, I won’t shy away from it. I choose to harness it.

Because I’m not afraid of depth. Of surrender. Of risk. Of what it awakens in others — or in me.

I seek it in its purest form — because only then is it truly authentic.

Un-corrupted, it becomes the ultimate expression of mutual freedom.

It’s the one taboo that, when fully embraced, gives every other taboo a depth and intensity nothing else can match. But that’s exactly why it can’t be forced.

It has to happen organically — with honesty, courage, and alignment.

Because if it doesn’t, the pursuit becomes just a hollow chase… and the real thing slips further out of reach.

Have you figured it out yet. I wonder what perverted cravings are running through you mind right now?

No — it’s NOT centered on copious amounts of cum involving multiple......sorry I got a bit distracted for a moment...where was I? Ah yes...

Hell it's even more of a taboo than a guy admitting to being an enthusiastic cock sucker in a room full of heterosexual men 🤣🤣.

Dare I say… it’s even more polarizing than the mere mention of SCAT......that's not one of mine I hasten to add but neither am I one to kink shame. I'm always rather intrigued whenever I meet people who out perv me or have a higher sex drive.....damn it, I got side tracked again.

Back to the topic in hand......

And it's because I see this taboo — that in its purest form knows no limits, no hierarchy, no script — that I’ve chosen the path of solo polyamory and relationship anarchy. Where connection is led by authenticity, not obligation. Where depth is not defined by exclusivity. And where this “taboo” can be honored without fear or feelings of self consciousness.

Yes — this Taboo is THE big one.

The most polarizing four-letter expletive of them all:

L O V E.

Club BiVersity - Diverse Desires: Bi, Pan, Kinky & Culture-Rich - London

Desire across racial lines is real. It’s everywhere in kink, swinging, and open relationship spaces—and it’s something I’ve felt, witnessed, and lived.

I’ve been in relationships with women from all kinds of backgrounds. Not because I collect cultures, but because the connection was real. Because I was seen—not “just” as a black man or a good fuck—but as a whole person. As a Black man whose life experiences, worldview, and cultural context weren’t brushed over or treated like background noise. I was met fully—and those relationships only deepened because of that.

That’s what appreciation looks like.

When it comes to Black women… I’m in awe. Oh fuck do I love my black women. The beauty, the oh so deeply feminine power, the presence—it moves me. And there’s something deeply satisfying, even heartwarming, about seeing Black women I know—whether partners or friends—being genuinely appreciated by men of other backgrounds. When I see a connection that’s mutual, grounded, and emotionally aware, it’s beautiful.

But when I sense fetishisation—when I catch even a hint of “I’ve always wanted to try a Black woman”—I’m out. I feel repelled. Why? because I know what’s underneath that phrasing: a stripping away of personhood. A desire based on myth, not truth.

That same line applies to me, too. If someone’s desire for me is rooted in a surface-level curiosity, or some "bucket list" mentality, I’m already halfway gone. I don’t care how hot the surface energy is—if I don’t feel seen, it’s empty.

Now, here’s something else I’ve noticed over time: amber flags that show up within our own racial communities. Like when someone says, “I just don’t date people from my own background.” That just doesn’t sit right with me—for some, I know it can be rooted in trauma or difficult experiences they’d rather not relive. I can hold space for that. I get it… to an extent…..which is why it’s an amber flag as opposed to being bright red.

But it’s still something I take note of. Because when desire becomes a way of distancing from yourself or your community, I can’t help but wonder what parts of yourself you're trying not to face. And I know I’ll eventually be asked to participate in that avoidance that might inadvertently chip away at my own self-worth if that woman is black .

Anyway, when I do sense genuine appreciation—when someone connects with the fullness of who I am, and wants me, not just my background or the fantasy of it—that’s something else entirely. That’s real. That’s powerful. That’s hot.

And yeah… when it’s done right? When two people meet each other fully, even across differences? When there’s respect, desire, and mutual clarity? It’s horny as fuck. That part’s not lost on me. But it’s the bonus—not the foundation.

That’s why I’m intentional about the creation of Club BiVersity, we don’t pretend colour doesn’t exist. We don’t claim to be “post-racial.” We centre the reality that our identities do shape how we show up—and that’s not something to fear. It’s something to honour.

So if you’re navigating desire across race, culture, or ethnicity—whether you’re Black, Brown, white, or mixed—my take is this:
Be honest with yourself. Yes be curious about others but also be mindful to pay attention to what you’re drawn to—and why.

Because when appreciation is real? When it’s layered, conscious, and rooted in seeing the whole person? That’s where beauty lives. That’s where pleasure deepens. That’s where sex, love, and kink can be fucking awesome.

Want to join our private Telegram group. Or perhaps you want to learn a bit more about Club BiVersity?

Join our FetLife Group to stay updated https://fetlife.com/groups/172611

What If You're Black & Want To Be Cuckolded?

I spent many a year playing the role of the Bull and boy did I love it. Especially when the planets aligned, and I was able to have fun with a cuckold couple on an ongoing basis.

I used to think nothing could match the thrill of fucking another man's wife....especially if he was there to "assist"

Now I'm of the opinion that it's way hotter when that role is reversed.

*except perhaps if a couple were to give me free rein to build a special bond and the wife or girlfriend is eager to be (polite cough) slut trained over an extended period of time.*

It's the deeper level of intimacy between a partner and myself that makes it extra special.
BUT where are my fellow black cuckolds, I know you're out there but hiding in plain site. I get it though we're almost always expected to play the role of the Bull but sometimes we don't want to, sometimes we want something different, something more. NOT what's expected.

That's why I've decided to create a safe space. A very private very discreet chat group that's exclusively for black men who have that deep urge to be cuckolded but no one to chat with about it.

If the above sounds like you feel free to reach out to me.

Discretion assured. 

You'll find me here......

https://fetlife.com/ClubBiversity

or

https://www.instagram.com/cocoatemptationlondon/

or

https://x.com/CocoTemptation_

No I'm Not Too Scared To Go To Sex and Kink Parties By Myself. It's Just That.....

THIS IS NOT SO MUCH A BLOG BUT MORE THE OTHER END OF ONE OF TWO LINKS THAT I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD TO A COUPLE OF KINK/SWINGING SITES THAT I'M ON 

This Is The Other One

Sex in isolation of connection or chemistry does nothing for me. So although I’ll attend socials and munches as a single male I won’t attend parties by myself. I’m a very empathetic person so when you combine that with my compersion that manifests itself in the forms of both joy and lust. You’ll get why I’m a lot more excited by the idea of a woman having uninhibited fun with me at her side to facilitate/corrupt/protect (depending on her temperament)…..than I am about having sex with a stranger however hot they might be……..unless of course fun with that stranger/s is indulged in with my partner 🤤🤤.

 

IF WE’RE PLATONIC FRIENDS

 

I’m just happy to see you having fun and beside me being happy on your behalf it means I get to go to an event and not have to exert quite as much mental energy reassuring people that I’m ok/safe to chill or hang out with.

 

 

IF IT’S SEXUAL BETWEEN US

 

If you’re a promiscuous woman you’re my kind of person. A shared passion can be the foundation of a great friendship. So speaking as a card carrying shout it from the rooftops sl*t worshipper I can’t think of anything more exciting than going on exciting dick discovery adventures with you and hearing about the mouth salivating adventures that you may be having when I’m not around.

 

THE NON-NEGOTIABLES

 

1)            You are Ethically Non-Monogamous NOT just non-monogamous.

Reason: I’m in no position to judge especially because I cheated in my longest ever relationship. But I made a vow to be forever transparent after that and ‘m sticking to it. Anyone close to me needs to be a person who shares this perspective.

2)            You test for STIs regularly and whenever you play with someone you. You’re also not shy about ensuring that your play partners also test regularly and are willing to share their results with you

Reason: Safe play = more fun for everyone.

*Conversations about STI checks can be a real mood killer especially at clubs so more often than not I tend to play on a second meet. In other words don’t take offence (some do) but please be prepared for an upfront chat about the last time we all got tested.

Free NHS home testing kits can be ordered online so embarrassment/being busy is no longer an obstacle

Yep Horny Swingers Kinksters & Pervs Need Love Too

THIS IS NOT SO MUCH A BLOG BUT MORE THE OTHER END OF A LINK THAT I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD TO A COUPLE OF KINK/SWINGING SITES THAT I'M ON 

This Is The Other One

This post was inspired by the advice of a good friend so here's me being transparent, shit here goes......

I'm in no rush but my heart is open for the right person/people. The conditions need to be right and I'm willing to wait for that.

Ultimately I am indeed open to give and receive love I’d love to one day meet someone who loves me warts and all for who I am and as unconditionally as it’s practically possible. As a solo-poly this could potentially be 2-3 very special fucking awesome women.

I consider myself to be a very pragmatic realist. Plus based on past experiences and knowledge of self if certain very basic things are not in place I won’t even indulge in the fantasy of becoming someone’s anchor or primary partner.

I absolutely positively DO NOT believe that love conquers all. So here’s my list of love nurturing deal breakers and areas of concern from my perspective…..

THE THREE NON-NEGOTIABLES

1. It takes me more than an hour to get to where you live.

Reason: Quality time and touch are for me two very important love languages.

2. You see yourself one day transitioning away from the Ethically Non-Monogamous lifestyle.

Reason: Monogamy is beautiful it’s just not for me if this is your core belief too we’re off to a good start.

3. Fuck anyone you like but you must consciously commit to NOT nurturing deep intimacy with anyone else new to you for at least the first 3-6 months of our relationship.

Reason: Although I am in principle comfortable with my partner/s developing deep feeling for other people. Experience has taught me that dates and overnight stays with others can lead to conflicted loyalties.

CHALLENGES THAT MAKE ME HESITANT TO INVEST IN AND NURTURE A RELATIONSHIP THAT MIGHT LEAD TO LOVE

As a single parent that has my kids living with me full time if you’re in a similar situation setting aside quality time is going to be problematic. If you’re child free or don’t have yours with you full time there’s scope for flexibility.

Reason: I’ve grown weary of only being able to meet that someone special at parties/hotels/restaurants. I want us to also be able to hang out together without having to plan what feels like a military operation ( See 1) in the non-negotiables).

Plus I don’t want to have to book a hotel every time I need a cuddle 🤣

DOES RACE MATTER?

No and yes. This is a tricky one for me. I'm attracted to women of all backgrounds and my sex/dating/relationship history reflects that. However as indicated previously I'm firmly of the opinion that love does NOT conquer all. Post George Floyde I lost the will to raceplain (just made that word up, cool right? lol) the black experience in a world that's currently euro dominant.

I've lost the willingness to exert more than a minimal amount of energy on explaining the insidious nature of racism to someone who only has a surface level of understanding. 

That's my longish way of saying I'd prefer to be in a long term relationship with a black woman but I'll keep an open mind.

 

I Thought I Hated Gangbangs

 

I've been into swinging and kink for decades now and during that time whenever I got an invite to a gangbang I always turned them down without hesitation. Why? In part because of nerves but also because a part of me always felt a bit offended. I always pictured them as cold and impersonal and with the way my ego is mapped out I have no interest in just being a number in a line up. That doesn't feel the least bit sexy or horny from my perspective.

 

That said when I've looked back I have indeed been in gangbangs two in total and I had a fucking amazing time. I realised afterwards that on both occasions it was because they happened organically after I'd got to know the greedy girls in question. Although very temporary a connection had been made and for me that makes all the difference.

 

I get how anonymity can be horny as fuck but for me that only works in specific scenarios or when roles have been flipped. Which leads me on the the point of this little update.

 

I LOVE GANGBANGS

 

It's dawned on me that I'm starting to crave greedy girls as much as I do other men's wives (always in an ENM context). However there is a catch, the greedy girl needs to be MY greedy girl for the gangbang scenario to be an automatic turn on for me. I always get turned on when my women friends tell me about their naughty adventure and the closer we are the more of a turn on it is for me.

 

How did this revelation present itself to me? Well this month I went to a swinging club with a good friend. I told her to enjoy herself and and to unleash her inner s**t if so inclined. Boy did she unleash, I purposely got her to suck my cock in the club's cinema room with her arse in the air. She said yes to every man that approached her and as long as he had a condom ready I gave my blessing. The lust I felt was intoxicating and to say I'm hooked would be an understatement.

 

I'm out again with another friend soon. Now I've never been one to go to a club with any expectation. As a solo-poly I'm quite content to take the slow approach and from my perspective I consider a nice chat in a naughty environment a success. However ;-)

Why the hell would a Bull want a cuddle buddy that he didn't f*** ???

 

If you were to read any of my swinging and kink profiles you would notice an amendment which to some will look very out of place when compared to the filth in the rest of their content.

Post covid it dawned on me that not only are cuddles nice to have but they are actually a crucial element of what’s needed for my own personal sexual well-being. Although not essential for every sexual or kink related adventure. Were it not to be a factor of most of my encounters, experience has now taught me that its total absence will leave me feeling at best a bit unfulfilled and at worst with an extremely unpleasant feeling of empty hollowness. Anyway I will refer back to this a little later in this blog.

When if comes to pure lustful cravings I think it's probably fair to say that there is no sexual dynamic that I fantasize about and crave more than threesomes. For me it represents the perfect blend of fun and filth......and within this dynamic there is nothing I salivate over more than MMF (two bi/curious males with one woman) fun. From my perspective there's nothing more intoxicatingly horny than a M/F couple be they cuckold or bi inviting a single male to join them for inappropriately filthy fun.

Historically most of my fun along these lines has been with me being in the role of the single male invited to join a cuckold couple. (Interestingly of late I've noticed that whenever I'm partnered with a sexy woman I have become increasingly interested in being joined by a single male. I'm closer to the Stag/Vixen end of the spectrum)

Anyway much as I crave threesome filth I have always been mindful of the necessity to nurture my need for balance. I have a long held belief that as a male with a strong craving for meeting couples its important to have other outlets in order to cater to that human need for intimacy on a deeper level.

In my version of an ideal world there is always a scenario in which I have an intimate loving partner who is accepting of my need for this form of sexual expression. I have spoken to many couples over the years and they often speak of fun arrangements with single males that have come to an abrupt end when the invited male confused his lustful passions for intimacy on a deeper level. Hell I even made that mistake once......ONCE. But I have never repeated it. We're only human so we all make mistakes however repeating it would now be unethical from my perspective. An experienced Bull with ethics believes in transparency will never do anything to even hint at compromising the stability of a couples loving relationship.

That said what does a single male do when not anchored in one or more (I'm polyamorous hence the plural)  loving relationships. From my perspective I think it is important to be purposeful in finding kindred spirits who share your understanding of the need for something to balance out the need for delicious filth with something more intimate too.

A VERY BAD INFLUENCE ON THE NOT SO INNOCENT

I love mentoring people and this applies to both my vanilla life and the darker sexual elements of my personality.  That’s no doubt one of the reasons why I’m drawn more to cuckold as opposed to stag/vixen couples. Love mentoring and collaboration but I HATE being told what to do by other guys lol.

Anyway when an opportunity to be protector and guide for a sexy woman at her first ever swingers party presented itself I seized it with both hands. The event in question was MILF Club a day time swinging event at The Vanilla Alternative venue. My mentee was extremely nervous at first but I was able to guide her with the benefit of my insights based on my decades of experience living a non-monogamous lifestyle.

My companion received a lot of complimentary attention so by the end of the afternoon she had relaxed enough to unleash her inner sl**. Now if you have read any of my past blogs you will know that this is a quality that I find extremely attractive in a woman. Although I didn’t get to benefit personally from these unleashed passions I did get to see her lavished by the attentions of two guys we’d been chatting with who took her fancy.

On the drive back to our hotel I was bursting with excitement eager to get my new friends perspective on what had just happened. However she was still in something of a dazed state trying to process things in hear head.

WHAT YOU MEAN YOU DIDN’T FUCK?

It turns out that although weeks of chat had established a rather special bond between the two of us as it happens I’m not really her type on a sexual level. This may sound weird to some of you readers but for me personally my ego stopped being bruised by situations like this years ago.

Now don’t get me wrong I would sooooo love to have fucked my new friend especially as the memory of her being ever so recently well fucked was freshly stored in my brain. However I’m of the mind that a connection between people is only truly pleasurable when equally desired by all parties. I only want to fuck a woman when she struggles to differentiate the difference between wanting and needing me inside her.

Come to think of it I think that ties into another reason why I lean more to the cuckolding dynamic with couples as opposed to the Stag/Vixen dynamic. Now please bear with me and please don’t take offence if this does not apply to you, after all there are always exceptions. This is a very very crude over simplification based on my experiences.

Based on my experience a Stag/Vixen couple wants “a guy or guys” to join them to fuck the lady. I’m personally much more interested in a couple when the cuck is fixated on the thought of “ME Danny” fucking his lady.

 

Anyway back to my naughty yet surreal adventure with my new and fingers crossed special friend. It turns out that although I’m not what she’s looking for sexually. It turns out that for both of us touch is the language that we like to communicate in.  So we spent a lovely night together chatting laughing and spooning to our hearts content.

So although the memories of my new ever so naughty but nice friend have given me blue balls I’m not feeling empty or hollow. I think I can now officially confirm that I’m a cuddle junkie lol.

The Sub Version of Me....out there somewhere in the multiverse

There's a sub version of me. I know this to be true because that's how my journey into kink first started. I had a deep deep desire to to worship and serve a sexually liberated woman...fantasized constantly about what it would feel like to be teased within an inch of my life and pegged without mercy. So one memorable night at a swingers social hosted by a couple I found a lady willing to be my guide.

She self identified as a nympho with an insatiable appetite. I loved the idea of being teased with maximum cruelty and denied the kind of access to her that she gave so freely to others that she deemed worthy. She was rather intrigued by the idea of having one of her conquests to use at her beck and call. She didn't think I had a dominant bone in my body it looked like a perfect match. So began our three year relationship.

It started off well enough she was like a wild creature that can't be tamed and that wildness was part of her beauty. But then there was an unexpected twist. Within her was an inner sub screaming to be let out......and much to the surprise of both of us somewhere deep in my subconscious was a Dom. He was a crafty little fellow because up until that point I had no idea of his existence...but once he awoke there was no putting him back into Pandora's box.

The next three years were.....the depravity ooooooohh boy.

Long long ago that was. By the way this is when the Bull within me was born. I'd met couples before but prior to having a sub the cerebral nature of cuckolding went right over my head. I just didn't get it.

BUT that sub is still there dormant but not hiding. Now and then reminding me that he's still there waiting patiently for the right opportunity to express himself.

Out there in the multiverse I wonder what the sub version of me is up to, whatever it is I've no doubt he's having his fair share of fun.

Filthy perv lolol.

Tennis balls on my forehead nectar on my tongue

My poly-lover is the kind of woman that needs to feel a connection before having fun with another man or woman. So I've been wetting her appetite by introducing her to a friend of mine in a three-way Telegram chat. Years back we fucked each-others girlfriend (at the time) using a Czech style female gloryhole by was that horny mmmmmmmm......

...anyway my partner is travelling again tomorrow and I love the thought of giving her something naughty to look forward to when she's back to London in January.

I know my friend to be straight so I was a little surprised when he suggested fucking my lady while I attend to her clit with my tongue. With him being straight I pushed back a little because it meant I'd be under him and I didn't want to give off any submissive or cuckolded vibes......

Problem being that this morning I woke up with an almighty hardon imagining the scenario taking place lolol.

I've now suggested that I'd go along with this if we were to swap places now and then to level things up......yep my ego will be more than ok with that. I wonder what he'll say? lolol.

This Is Why You Can't Fuck My Girlfriend If You're Straight

You probably wouldn't be surprised to discover that my desire to fuck other men's wives' and girlfriends is deep and to my core. However it may surprise you to know that my desire to see my girlfriend fucked by other guys is also deep rooted. Hell as the years have passed this desire has grown stronger. So much so that it's in danger of matching my lusts and cravings as a Bull. Come to think of it I probably enjoy both scenarios all the more because I can relate to the pleasure from more than one perspective.

However there is a bit of a catch, based on past experiences its just not as much fun for me if the man fucking my lady is straight. My apologies if this comes across as a bit harsh and overly simplistic but broadly speaking straight guys tend to fall into one of two camps. Naturally there is always going to be a bit of an overlap but here goes.

CAMP ONE

This camp is populated by the outwardly nervous straight guy. This guy doesn't really want me in the room but for the chance of a fuck he's willing to give it a go and will try to use a few mental tricks to zone me out and pretend I'm not there. He may be concerned that I'm eying him up and trying to figure out a way to pounce on him. So because of this concern he is never totally at ease and will struggle to stay in the moment and enjoy the sweet pleasures of my sexy girlfriend. I consider myself to be a bit of an empath and because I will sense this I too will struggle to be in the moment because I will then be using strategies of my own to try to put him at ease.

CAMP TWO

This camp is populated by the outwardly confident and alpha males. This guy doesn't really want me in the room either but his motives are a little different. He wants to fully unleash his lusts on my lady and will feel somewhat held back by my presence. For the time that he is in the room he wants her to himself and the idea of "sharing" doesn't come naturally to him. His natural instinct is to also mark his presence by showing both of us who's boss. This too will be sensed by me so instead of enjoying the experience my competitive instincts will kick in and the whole experience will be ruined because in those scenarios I will cut things short and that's no fun for anyone.

I think I should take the time to hold my hand up and take some responsibility for the above type of scenarios. They have only ever happened in a club environment where adrenaline can be high and decisions can sometimes be made on impulse. In my ideal world we've had a chance to meet socially to first find out if we're likely to be a good match. 

CAMP THREE (the exception to the rule)

Yep you guessed it the title of this blog is click bait lol. Straight guys have fucked my partners over the years but they will have been people that we've got to know so everyone feels comfortable relaxed and horny.

It's so much more fun when they're bi!!!

Why? Because even if there is no play between the guys the vibe is almost always so much more relaxed. No-one is tense or worried about body parts touching and there is no sense of competition so working together as a team to give pleasure to my sweet lady just feels more natural and instinctive.

It also means I can get really close for a good view of another mans cock sliding in and out of my lady's pussy which more likely than not will be soaking wet because she is as turned on by the thought of being very naughty in front of me as I am proud to have a card carrying slut as a lover. That image can replay and  remain vivid in my head for weeks and boy is it horny as fuck.

The guy being bi means I'm free to stroke his cock and guide him back in if he slips out and I can cup his balls while whispering filth into my girlfriends ear.

Another perk of MMF threesomes is that there is never ever the whisper of beginning to feel like a third wheel. Although I can be a perfectly respectful voyeur (and enjoy it) when watching other couples fuck waiting patiently on the sidelines as a voyeur makes me restless when its my own girlfriend I just can't do it. So if the guy inside her has stamina and the two of them get lost in the moment I always have the option of keeping my cock warm with his mouth. For some strange inexplicable reason guys tend to fuck with a greater sense of urgency when I do that ;-)

Sex Gas Masks and Post Covid Cuddles

A cock a gimp and a care bear walked into a bar......there's a joke in there somewhere I just know there is 😂.

Anyway this is going to be one of my slightly unusual somewhat reflective curveball postings...

Just over a week ago I was in a cafe sat opposite to a married woman and flirting with the intention meeting her at a hotel on our second encounter. It was a hot day and she was wearing a summer dress and oh boy do I love admiring women wearing summer dresses. I made little to no effort to hide the fact that my gaze sometimes lingered on her chest and oh so yummy looking thighs.  However in spite of my addiction for married women I had no intention of fucking her. Now you'd be forgiven for being confused at this point but here's the thing.

When covid hit and we were all in lockdown I was not long out of a serious relationship, and I had just managed to make a really good connection with not one but two amazing cuckold couples. However, in a cruel twist of fate neither of them was local to me and long story short it led to what at first was an agonising 18 month period of enforced celibacy.

Once I had got to the point of "accepting my fate" I actually got quite used to the isolation. I was also very much mindful and aware of the fact that soo many people and families suffered terribly at this time. I myself focused on developing other areas of my life and quite enjoyed the isolation. The pause from the rat race was in many ways good for me and luckily for me feeling of loneliness were quite rare. However, whenever it did occur it was like a punch to the gut and the desire that dominated all others was the desire for cuddles. It even overpowered my lust for other men's wives and boy did that take me by surprise.

Lockdown got me thinking about the second world war and although I didn't do any deep research into the topic it got me wondering if that period of time was the birth place of the gas mask fetish. Did 2020 give birth to a cuddles fetish? I wonder what history will say.

I have always been a cuddles kinda guy but in a swinging context I have always been a little bit hesitant to cuddle as much as I would like for fear of my intentions being misread as romantic in the conventional sense of the word. I suppose its a bit like kissing someone's wife/girlfriend a bit too long it just looks weird and it can create unnecessary discomfort and tension. So I'd only ever kiss beyond the point of acceptable etiquette if the partner is a cuckold oh and the kiss would last even longer if I'm making him watch while sucking my cock mmmmmmmmmm. Got a bit carried away there.........now where was I?

Ah yes back to the topic at hand. During lockdown I did get into the odd conversation with women and like me some of them did indeed have the same ache to meet just for cuddles. So although it was never acted upon it did get me thinking. Just as having a Fuck Buddy or Friends With Benefits is seen as a complication free way to connect sexually. Couldn't a Cuddle Buddy serve a similar...ish role?

Its hilarious but I think I feel more self conscious coming out of the closet as a cuddles craver than I did as a Bull that also has deep cravings to suck cock. But it is was it is, covid unlocked a need in me that is greater than I realised and I feel a responsibility to be true and honest with myself just as much as I did when it dawned on me that I wasn't heterosexual.

Anyway lets transport ourselves back to my coffee with the married woman. At first things went really well we'd spent the best part of two hours in Costa chatting and enjoying each others company. However when dropping her home in the privacy of my car she admitted that her real agenda was to find men she felt comfortable enough to fuck as well as snuggle with for hours. 

Something switched in my brain. When I know a woman is "naughty" I'm like a moth to a flame. I instantly got horny and my cock was now pressing slightly painfully against my jeans. What should have been a friendly good bye kiss on the cheek ended up as a very passionate kiss I was soooooo ready to fuck at that point...........damn it!!

This may sound weird and you may be thinking "what the fuck are you crazy?" but in my quest for a genuine cuddle buddy I don't want penetrative sex to be on the agenda. I wrestled for a few days but then ultimately decided that it would be best not to take things further with the lady. Yes in the heat of the moment I'd probably go with the flow but on the flip side I don't want a cuddle buddy who is secretly feeling flustered and frustrated if a fuck isn't the final outcome. A sensual tease for some is something to be savored but for others it feels like vindictive torture. That's reason number one for deciding not to meet her again. Reason number two, I class myself as Ethically Non-Monogamous so although over the years I have fucked (polite cough) my fair share of other men's wives and girlfriends with relish it has never knowingly been without their consent, blessing or encouragement. 

Although I wouldn't throw a tantrum if a cuddle buddy transitioned into a FWB. I'm  still very specific in my desire for a platonic...ish cuddle buddy to bond with on a deep level too. I see it as one of several interesting ways to connect with a woman and I always love an adventure.

My quest continues.

A Polyamorous Bi Black Bull. Is That A Thing??? Part 3 of 3

........ on the surface Katherine appeared to have every non negotiable quality that I'm looking for in a woman. Intelligence, a kind heart and an open enquiring mind both in general and sexually. Not only does she have those qualities in abundance but she appeared to have so many "nice to have" qualities too. She sounded too good to be true so I decided to be cautious but to also keep an open mind.

One of my biggest areas of concern centred around whether or not Katherine would be comfortable knowing that as our relationship developed I would still be on the look out for both couples and single ladies. Its a bit of a tricky balancing act because although I wanted to be free to meet other people another priority was to give the relationship the opportunity to grow to it full potential if  things continued to go well.

We quickly came to the conclusion that for an indefinite period we would focus on getting to know each other. So if anyone were to be a fly on the wall when we were together they would be forgiven for thinking that we were a conventional couple dating and getting to know each other. However we did still continue to have separate adventures. The only condition being that all adventures with new people would include sober conversations about sexual health so that all concerned can continue to have their cake and eat it.

Although we were not attending swinging parties together we would share information. This was in part necessary because Katherine is still relatively new to the lifestyle and I have been using the benefit of my experience to guide her so as to help ensure that her experiences are as positive as possible. As an added bonus knowing that she has been seeing other men and women is a major turn on for me. What is torment for some is for me nothing short of pure lust filled bliss. 

Perhaps more often than not any time I meet Katherine there is a strong probability that another mans cock has been inside her. Want to know how much of a turn on this is for me? Put it this way while dating Katherine there was a period of time in which I was also dating a sexy black lady. She too was in her early days of exploring swinging and ethical non-monogamy. On one particular Saturday night Daniella had attended a BMFC interracial party by herself. I wanted to be sure she was ok so I told her to text me the following morning. When she did she said that she had been a very bad girl. I told her to stop talking and that I would be at her hotel room in an hour. I forbade her from giving me any more details until my cock was inside her.

I got to her hotel room with breakfast and boy was I eager to find out what she had been up to, she was just as eager to tell me. We finished our breakfast and then I slowly began teasing her pussy with my cock. She told me about how she had danced provocatively with two black men and that by the end of the night she had fucked three complete strangers. The lust I felt as she relayed her adventure was so intense my head spun. 

I'm forever saying that I love bad girls and have no time for good girls. That's not entirely true as it's also something of a crude over simplification.

Who I crave and most desire are sexually liberated nice women. To my mind something magical happens when a woman feels free enough to unshackle herself from guilt and simply enjoys the pleasures of sex. Its truly a wonder to behold and be a part of. I think this leads neatly on to one of the reasons why I am so sexually drawn to married women. 

Not being a woman all I have to go on is a bit of clumsy empathy. But with the way society is structured to impose guilt on women I imagine it must feel incredibly liberating to be in an environment where you can let go of all inhibition and set free ones deepest and darkest sexual desires safe in the knowledge that no judgement or negative consequences result from it. It must be the most amazing feeling. Its certainly a joy to be a part of.

Dipping into what is seen as taboo is partly why I so enjoy making cuckold handle my cock when I fuck their wife/girlfriend for the first time. For me its as symbolic as it is erotic to have the male half of a couple be the one to guild my cock into the woman he so loves.

On the flip side I am besides myself with excitement at the prospect of one day soon guiding another mans cock into my girlfriend's sweet pussy. I have seen one guy fuck her at yet another BMFC party but the novelty very quickly wore off. She too has now also seen me fuck another woman at a highly erotic couples party that we recently attended. Boy was that an exciting night. Just short of a year into our relationship that crucial question has now been answered for both of us. How will we each feel at the site of seeing the other being kissed or fucked by someone else. We both passed the test and can say with confidence that compersion is now fully interwoven within our relationship.

Anyway back to the interracial party. Katherine had a wonderful time being fucked by the guy. He had a good body and fucked my lady with great vigour but because he was straight and didn't have a collaborative "work together to please the lady" mindset boredom set in quite quickly. So I politely kicked him out of the room. Because of that slight mishap we now have new guidelines in place. If we're together and she see's a guy she likes and he is straight I won't hang around but just pop in and out of the room. But if he's a bicurious cock sucker like me then all three of us will feast to our hearts content.

A Polyamorous Bi Black Bull. Is That A Thing??? Part 2 of 3

 .....so at this point you may be asking yourself how my personal circumstances have changed. Well once again I am in what I hope ends up being a long lasting relationship, the longer the better ideally. Although being single during lockdown was painful on many levels it did give me the opportunity to step back and reflect on what direction I would like my life to go in once things got back to any kind of normality.

I knew from past experience that as a single male a sex life that consisted entirely of swinging wasn't a good fit for me. I remember sometimes returning home from an adventure with a couple and although the experience would have been a lot of fun I'd sometimes be aching for a good cuddle and particularly with couples not that well known to me that need could very easily be misunderstood. Perhaps not so much in an adventure with a single lady but even then there could be room for misinterpretation. 

However, the prize for the most empty feeling without doubt would relate to nights out at a swinging club in which I felt no connection with anyone. I'd be driving home in the early hours of the morning thinking to myself  "what the fuck are you doing Danny?" boy did it feel shit.

Yet on the flip side I also know that when I've tried to live a more conventional life I would end up feeling like a part of me was suppressed and unfulfilled. Therein lies the dilemma how was I to feed and nurture both extremes. At one end is the ache for genuine companionship, affection hell even the "L" word and at the other end encoded within my DNA is my dark wickedly mischievous side and its need for an outlet to express itself. 

So there was me with a new sense of purpose on two very distinct missions. On the one hand a desire for companionship and on the other that need I have to be with another man's woman. If you have read any of my previous blogs you will know that the woman is ideally someone’s wife and that I have a strong preference for wives who enjoy being fucked by me in the presence of their husband at lease occasionally if not all the time  (even the phrase "my wife" can make my cock twitch 😈).

I updated both my dating and swinging profiles with a sense of purpose and excitement wondering which mission would bear fruit first.

Whatever couple I would eventually find certain requirement would have to be met. Priority number one they must must MUST live less than and hours drive from me. For me one of the most frustrating aspects of covid was the fact that just before lockdown I had met two amazing cuckold couples but to get to either of them it would have been a two hour illegal drive. Had either of them lived closer to home I could have conceivably had a covid safe fuck bubble and all the time in the world to get to know them 😈. 

By the way getting to know a couple well is one of the aspects of cuckolding that I really enjoy. It's a slow process and one that I like to savour. This is why I ever so regretfully swipe left mentally when approached by couples who live too far away from me even if they would otherwise be an ideal match.

For my companionship mission there are also must have qualities in any woman that I'd want to be with. Besides living reasonably local to me she would also need to be fully accepting of the more mischievous side of my sexuality. So in order to minimise awkward conversations my dating profile made it clear that I was non-monogamous. I also made a point of only swiping right if a woman's profile said the same. I'm hard wired with a sense of fair play so the more adamant a woman was about her non-monogamous mindset the more comfortable I'd feel swiping right.

That's how Katherine came into my life. She told me that one of the things that made me stand out was the fact that my profile stated that I'm looking for a woman that wants me NOT a woman that needs me. She lives a busy life and our first date was via Zoom. Although not face to face the chemistry was instant. She pointed out that she too was on a journey and that she had concluded that polyamory was the right path for her. It was very clear that although she was looking for something meaningful she had no intention making her pussy exclusive to me. She also didn't flinch when I spoke about my need to meet couples and that I am bicurious.........FUCK!!!!! I had to pinch myself......had I struck gold?.........

Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 2 of 3

...so does size matter?

...no

...YES!!

A tenuous link to the ending of Kingdom of Heaven ( great movie by the way ) but I hope you get my weird mental leap.

Anyway of course size bloody matters and when you add the interracial element to the mix it gets yet more fucked up and complex.....if you let it.

"You can't be a Bull you're too young, too old, too short, too fat, not black, too nice, too thuggish, cock isn't big enough etc etc"

errr says who?

I'm not saying this to be politically correct but seriously. According to who's rulebook? Now as far as I'm concerned one of the key aspects of swinging is the freedom to express oneself sexually and not allowing oneself to be limited by the views and opinions of others. 

Naturally I will add the caveat as long as it is mutually consensual, no harm is done and no minors are involved.

I'm one of those people who is fascinated by people. Its no coincidence that I purposely shaped my career in a way that allows me to interact with people on a daily basis. I'm a people watcher and forever inquisitive about what makes a person tick. That curiosity has also strongly influenced my approach to swinging and BDSM too.

If one is in anyway empathic or emotionally intelligent when you scratch beneath the surface you come to the realisation that to some extent everyone is fucked up and everyone has confidence issues. It doesn't matter what they present to the world or how they look its there. Wealth, good looks, awesome tits, a hot body a hefty meaty cock none of it protests you from self doubt.

So to me what ultimately matters is how one deals with the moments of self doubt when they happen and if one is really going to allows ones sexually journey to be dictated by others. I will start with  two negative incidents that come to mind. Both happened at swinging clubs. On the first occasion I was on a large bed with three of four other couples having sex with a woman who eventually became my girlfriend. On the second occasion I was with another woman who was my girlfriend at the time. On this occasion it was a more private room at a swinging club but it had a viewing window so voyeurs could take a peek. On both occasions I overhead a woman say to the person next to her "its not THAT big". Each time I was unable to see who made the comment and each time I blocked what they said from my mind until I'd had my fun with my lady.

Once I allowed what was said to filter back to my conscious mind I felt both anger and if honest a bit of a confidence beating. Luckily for me I was already experienced as a swinger, able to untangle it and not let it leave me permanently knocked down. I wish I had caught who said it though. Good manners and respectable behaviour have always been important to me so when I see the opposite it puts by back up. Its shocking how insensitive people can sometimes be. Some of my female friends have told me about similar experiences in which they have overhead men casually making negative comments about their bodies when at a swinging club. Its such a nasty thoughtless thing to do...and I do mean thoughtless because I think the person saying it often doesn't pause to think about the impact of their words.

That was the negative......on the flip side there have also been a couple of occasions when I have been fucking someone's wife/girlfriend and I had to give the lady time to get used to my cock because I was a bit too big. As an average dicked guy ABC lol that came as something as a surprise the first time but boy did it stroke my ego. 

It also gave me a sense of what it must be like to be the proud owner of a genuinely hefty dick. If I had a porn sized cock I would have to be a more considerate to ensure that I don't do any damage with some women. But with an average cock should the woman I'm with enjoy a hard pounding fuck I don't usually have to ever so carefully pace myself.

I'm free to thrust hard and deep to my hearts content. Its often overlooked but there are as many variables in the shape and size of a woman's pussy as the are in the shape and size as a man's dick.

I will never forget the time I was at a swinging spa and got chatting with another black guy. This was well over ten years ago back when I thought I was straight lol. Anyway on the surface he couldn't have been a more perfect example of many a woman's perfect physical specimen of "the fantasy black guy". He was well over six foot good looking muscular but not too muscular for most women's tastes and judging by the shape of the towel wrapped around his waist he was blessed too.

We got chatting and before long it turned into quite a deep conversation...I sometimes have that effect on people. Long story short the poor guy was riddled with self doubt and insecurities precisely because he was such a catch superficially. He was a really nice guy and also spoke about how he is forever having to deal with insecure short guys like me who feel a need to challenge him in social situations. I felt so much empathy for the guy. Although it's the one that comes to mind I have had countless encounters with men and women in the scene and when you scratch beneath the surface without fail there is always something that crystallises that fact that we are all united by our insecurities. Once I realised that I learnt not to give a fuck about what people think if it is in any way negative to my sense of self worth.

Now don't get me wrong I'm human so I will always have my moments of weakness but they don't consume me.

So back to the myth of the BBC. There will always be size queens and there will always be husbands and boyfriends whose priority will be to witness a fat juicy black dick penetrating the love of his life. Hey I get it when with ex partners I liked it too after all I'm a massive voyeur. But for some couples it is just one of the many qualities that a couple looks for in their quest to find the perfect Bull. 

Over the years I have lost count of the number of couples, particularly cuckold couples that speak to me lamenting the fact that they just can't find a Bull that "just gets it". Yes they find it relatively easy to find someone to give the lady a decent fuck but on a cerebral level the quest to find a Bull who understand the psychology of cuckolding is more often than not a fruitless one.

I can think of a number of occasions in which there wasn't much difference in size between my cock and the cuckold and one particular cuckold whose cock was clearly bigger than mine. He is the jealous cuckold from one of my older blogs. For him part of the mind fuck was the fact that his wife was so much more sexually animated when with me in spite of his size advantage.

Interestingly I remember a conversation that I had with one of my most regular couples. When I first met them. They weren't cuckold but the husband was bi. Hi also had a massive cock. So big that when they went swinging his wife would ban him from fucking her until she had played with other guys. They said that on several occasions when they met black guy the black guy was not able to perform because the size of his dick intimidated them. I found that fact fascinating......oh and months later at a combined cuckold and bi party that I hosted. After everyone had gone home this couple stayed the night with me. Want to know what happened? ;-)

Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 1 of 3

The older I get the more I try to distance myself from labels because they can sometimes be so inadequate, one dimensional and limiting. That said sometimes for the sake of clarity one is forced to either use or acknowledge them. One of the most prevalent topics of discussion that comes up again and again in the Fabswinger forums that I sometimes chat on or observe is cock size. Especially the size of black dicks.

The term BBC used to rub me up the wrong way and no that’s not just because by Bull standards my cock barely makes it into the big cock category. That’s right  I’m a black man with an “average” cock.

What?????  Yep some of you may be hearing this for the very first time. Are you sitting down? Some black men have.........average cocks.......now brace yourself there's more......some black men have small cocks.

At this point some of you may be thinking how could I possibly cuckold someone if I "only" have and average size dick. The simple flipant answer to that question would be. I don't know I just do. I've been swinging for a very long time and for many a year when chatting online the very first question people would ask me, often as a conversation opener was "how big is your BBC?" 

Over time my response transitioned from an answer, to a mental roling of my eyes, to a groan to a....well you get the picture. I basically got sick and tired being addressed so rudely. Sure ask me about my cock and what I look like but as a start of a conversation I consider it the height of disrespect.

So what did I do? I decided to nip it in the bud. The swinging profile I have on sites like Black to White and Hotwifing make it clear what size cock I have. Just as I am openly bicurious, I openly state the size of my cock too. My basic attitude is "lifes too short this is me take me as I am or don't". What effect did it have? Well a good one. The constant trickle of stupid questions asked by idiots came to a stop. Not completely but dramatically enough for it to no longer be a pain in the arse. 

Almost magically the caliber of conversation from the people approaching me improved. Conversations flowed naturally and questions asked were so much more mature in nature. Now don't get me wrong. If a woman or couple has a thing for black guys with premium sized big cocks I'm not going to hold that against them we all have a right to like what we like. After all I myself am bicurious and when I meet a bi couple as opposed to a cuckold couple its nice if the guy has a yummily weigthy cock that I can stroke or suck.

Anyway back to the main topic. As a single male in persuit of hotwives...especially hotwives that may potentially have a cuckold husband isn't the most basic of requirements to be the proud owner of a magnificently proportioned dick?

Basically

Does size matter?

The answer, MY answer is in part two of this blog.....

Once a Bull always a Bull?

So here I am beginning yet another chapter in my love life and sexual adventures. In the previous chapter I was in a deeply loving relationship with a most wonderful woman. Highly intelligent, sexy a joy to be with and a true friend. In fact we still are friends but the dynamic of us living together in a committed loving relationship ran its course. As a non-monogamous relationship, it meant we both got to indulge in some rather naughty adventures together.

As I reflect on it I’m so relieved by the fact that sexual jealousy resulting from our lifestyle was not the reason that the relationship came to an end. That for me is a source of reassurance, reassurance in that I feel yet more confident that when with the right woman it is indeed possible for me to be in a loving relationship and still have the ability to express my sexuality with persons other than my loving partner whoever that might be in the months and years to come.

However although the relationship was non-monogamous in nature compromises were made on both sides so as to ensure that feelings were not hurt. Some adaptions were easy, others over time and in retrospect were somewhat more challenging. At the time I was ok with it but there is one particular compromise that I’m not sure I will be able to make again. I may find myself eating my words at some point but right now I doubt it.

So what was that compromise? Well it was the ability to meet couples by myself. Foursomes are great fun but with the way my mind works there is something particularly and ever so wickedly pleasurable about planning to meet a couple as a single male.

I am forever drawn in by the lure of other men’s wives and girlfriends. This box was opened years ago and trying to close it again would just be an exercise in futility. Oh and just in case this is the first blog of mine that you are reading. Please be aware that I’m not one of those guys that gets a kick out of stealing people girlfriends or sleeping with married women as a danger sport. Clandestine fucks just isn’t my thing, I can most certainly understand the thrill, its just not my thrill.

The thrill for me is very particular to the fact that one way or another everyone is involved and getting something out of it. Its a three-way mind fuck that for me is intoxicatingly delicious….and addictive. I love witnessing the liberating effect on a woman when she is free to express her sexuality without judgement from the man that matters most to her in her life. As a Bull I get to be with a woman when she is at the peak of  feeling free, sexy and desired….and as a man who has been in open relationships I have a keen sense of what it feels like to be the man witnessing his loved one being fucked by another man.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m no angel so if a hot cheating wife or girlfriend were to relentlessly pursue me, theoretically wouldn’t say no but the thrill of biting into juicy forbidden fruit just wouldn’t be there…....wow as I type this and think back over the experiences that I have had with women I can’t think of a single time that I have knowingly fucked a married woman without her husband being fully aware of the fact……hmmmm interesting. 

So what’s next. Here’s me single again and pondering what path to follow, what’s my highest priority at this point. Build another special relationship with someone, try to quench my insatiable thirst for another man’s wife/girlfriend or somehow get the best of both worlds?

The latter sounds like the best fit for me right now and that’s exactly what I have been doing. Besides chatting with potential couples on FabSwingers I have also joined a rather interesting new site called Hotwifing that focuses primarily on pairing hotwife couples with single males/Bulls like me. It has a lot of potential so I am going to be keeping a close eye on it as it grows.

Perhaps in my next blog I will talk in detail about the two sexy wives that I met at an interracial swinging event a few weeks ago. Both encounters were deliciously naughty and in two very different ways. 

With one the sexual chemistry between us was so unbearably intense it was almost like self-inflicted torture. Up until that night all of my communications had been with her husband online. However all of my communications with him had been fairly abstract and I only had a vague idea of what his wife was like.

When we finally got to meet that night as soon as our eyes met there was instant chemistry which for me is quite unusual. The three of us were chatting and I just knew I had to kiss her. So I did, I’m not even sure if I asked for permission on this occasion the chemistry was that potent. There are two things that I do remember quite clearly though. I whispered two very romantic things in her ear while caressing her neck. I remember telling her that I would fuck her that night….and I also remember telling her to fuck any black guys that takes her fancy and to come to my hotel room with her husband before the night is out. I will tell you all about what happened in one of my future blogs.

From straight Bull to Club Biversity cock sucking bisexual interracial party host? WTF?? P/T 2 of 2

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