The Sub Version of Me....out there somewhere in the multiverse

There's a sub version of me. I know this to be true because that's how my journey into kink first started. I had a deep deep desire to to worship and serve a sexually liberated woman...fantasized constantly about what it would feel like to be teased within an inch of my life and pegged without mercy. So one memorable night at a swingers social hosted by a couple I found a lady willing to be my guide.

She self identified as a nympho with an insatiable appetite. I loved the idea of being teased with maximum cruelty and denied the kind of access to her that she gave so freely to others that she deemed worthy. She was rather intrigued by the idea of having one of her conquests to use at her beck and call. She didn't think I had a dominant bone in my body it looked like a perfect match. So began our three year relationship.

It started off well enough she was like a wild creature that can't be tamed and that wildness was part of her beauty. But then there was an unexpected twist. Within her was an inner sub screaming to be let out......and much to the surprise of both of us somewhere deep in my subconscious was a Dom. He was a crafty little fellow because up until that point I had no idea of his existence...but once he awoke there was no putting him back into Pandora's box.

The next three years were.....the depravity ooooooohh boy.

Long long ago that was. By the way this is when the Bull within me was born. I'd met couples before but prior to having a sub the cerebral nature of cuckolding went right over my head. I just didn't get it.

BUT that sub is still there dormant but not hiding. Now and then reminding me that he's still there waiting patiently for the right opportunity to express himself.

Out there in the multiverse I wonder what the sub version of me is up to, whatever it is I've no doubt he's having his fair share of fun.

Filthy perv lolol.

Tennis balls on my forehead nectar on my tongue

My poly-lover is the kind of woman that needs to feel a connection before having fun with another man or woman. So I've been wetting her appetite by introducing her to a friend of mine in a three-way Telegram chat. Years back we fucked each-others girlfriend (at the time) using a Czech style female gloryhole by was that horny mmmmmmmm......

...anyway my partner is travelling again tomorrow and I love the thought of giving her something naughty to look forward to when she's back to London in January.

I know my friend to be straight so I was a little surprised when he suggested fucking my lady while I attend to her clit with my tongue. With him being straight I pushed back a little because it meant I'd be under him and I didn't want to give off any submissive or cuckolded vibes......

Problem being that this morning I woke up with an almighty hardon imagining the scenario taking place lolol.

I've now suggested that I'd go along with this if we were to swap places now and then to level things up......yep my ego will be more than ok with that. I wonder what he'll say? lolol.

The cuckold emissary vs the FLR cuckoldress PART TWO

It’s been a long time coming but now feels like a good time to finally bring this two part blog to its natural conclusion. Lockdown is now a reasonably distant memory and my enforced 18 month celibacy is just as distant…..thank fuck for that right?

I’m grateful to now be in a much better position. I’m no longer single and I’m lucky enough to have a partner who is totally accepting and understanding of my long held addiction for couples. This by the way is no accident. Covid has had the effect of reinforcing my belief that life is there to be lived and that one shouldn’t compromise on what one wants. Naturally there is a caveat, it being so long as no one else is hurt or harmed.

Anyway, in the first part of this blog I touched on the subject of cuckold couples that have a dynamic that is totally led by the female half of the couple. Based on what I know I would have to conclude that truly female led cuckold relationships (FLR) are extremely rare. However there does appear to be a sizable proportion of couples in which it is something of a grey area. What do I mean by that? Well in all my years of meeting couples I can only think of one with whom the whole get to know you process was with the lady until finally meeting in person. That was a strange one for me because I usually have a very good idea of what makes the cuckold tick. It worked out very nicely though. They were one of the two couples that I met at the very last party I attended before covid. Within moments of finding a room to play in as soon as I leaned over the sexy lady he sank to his knees parted my cheeks and worshiped my arse with his tongue.........without being prompted, he seemed very content 😈

Now where was I ah yes, within the FLR spectrum most of the time the first move will have been made by the couple together and over time once trust has been established the cuckold takes a back seat leaving me and his love to get closer to each other to form a nice bond. 

Bond huh. Talk about playing with fire remember the first part of this blog when I mentioned that lifestyle cuckolding is a bit like an extreme sport? Boy did I fuck up in my early days. This was back when I played with couples in more of a hotwife dynamic. I don't think I even knew of the existence of the word cuckold in those days. Anyway I used to text and call one particular wife on a very regular basis.. I'm talking multiple text messages on an almost daily basis. Long story short we both confused lust and infatuation with love and......oh boy were we silly. Retrospectively comical in some ways but still very very.......very silly. 

From time to time her husband would text me saying no calls/text's tonight I need my wife to myself and although I always respected and went along with his specific requests I was in way too deep. I hasten to add that I never repeated that mistake and the lessons of that "relationship" have served me well with knowing what lines not to cross. Life is a classroom right?

One of the biggest lessons that I learnt was although you can't control feelings you can control what you do about them and when you nurture those feelings that's a conscious decision. Some of you may disagree with this conclusion but it's my truth. This is how I navigate the potentially dangerous minefield when everyone has agreed to meet on a regular basis.

This leads neatly on to some of the differences between getting close to a couple with a FLR dynamic. It's a different kind of "interview" process. Of course I can't claim to be intimately knowledgeable of the mind of a woman but I do think I've picked up a few insights over the years. I think a woman wants to feel safe with her Bull not just physically but emotionally too and one area of caution from the hotwife's perspective is her need to be sure that the Bull doesn't forget the boundaries that are set by a couple. An experienced Bull will know this instinctively so even if he is dealing with an inexperienced couple he will know what lined not to cross and crucially he will never exploit his superior knowledge to the detriment of the sanctity of the couples relationship.

An inexperienced single male who hasn't done his homework might charge in head first like a ..........Bull 🤣 and get carried away with what I call the fake pantomime of humiliating the cuckold. A more experienced Bull will never assume that the cuckold craves humiliation and knows that even if he does they may not want it to be directed at them by the Bull. When a Bull conveys this understanding to the lady and sees that outside of "play" the Bull clearly respects the man she loves it frees her to let her guard down and that's when all the fun begins 😈

This Is Why You Can't Fuck My Girlfriend If You're Straight

You probably wouldn't be surprised to discover that my desire to fuck other men's wives' and girlfriends is deep and to my core. However it may surprise you to know that my desire to see my girlfriend fucked by other guys is also deep rooted. Hell as the years have passed this desire has grown stronger. So much so that it's in danger of matching my lusts and cravings as a Bull. Come to think of it I probably enjoy both scenarios all the more because I can relate to the pleasure from more than one perspective.

However there is a bit of a catch, based on past experiences its just not as much fun for me if the man fucking my lady is straight. My apologies if this comes across as a bit harsh and overly simplistic but broadly speaking straight guys tend to fall into one of two camps. Naturally there is always going to be a bit of an overlap but here goes.

CAMP ONE

This camp is populated by the outwardly nervous straight guy. This guy doesn't really want me in the room but for the chance of a fuck he's willing to give it a go and will try to use a few mental tricks to zone me out and pretend I'm not there. He may be concerned that I'm eying him up and trying to figure out a way to pounce on him. So because of this concern he is never totally at ease and will struggle to stay in the moment and enjoy the sweet pleasures of my sexy girlfriend. I consider myself to be a bit of an empath and because I will sense this I too will struggle to be in the moment because I will then be using strategies of my own to try to put him at ease.

CAMP TWO

This camp is populated by the outwardly confident and alpha males. This guy doesn't really want me in the room either but his motives are a little different. He wants to fully unleash his lusts on my lady and will feel somewhat held back by my presence. For the time that he is in the room he wants her to himself and the idea of "sharing" doesn't come naturally to him. His natural instinct is to also mark his presence by showing both of us who's boss. This too will be sensed by me so instead of enjoying the experience my competitive instincts will kick in and the whole experience will be ruined because in those scenarios I will cut things short and that's no fun for anyone.

I think I should take the time to hold my hand up and take some responsibility for the above type of scenarios. They have only ever happened in a club environment where adrenaline can be high and decisions can sometimes be made on impulse. In my ideal world we've had a chance to meet socially to first find out if we're likely to be a good match. 

CAMP THREE (the exception to the rule)

Yep you guessed it the title of this blog is click bait lol. Straight guys have fucked my partners over the years but they will have been people that we've got to know so everyone feels comfortable relaxed and horny.

It's so much more fun when they're bi!!!

Why? Because even if there is no play between the guys the vibe is almost always so much more relaxed. No-one is tense or worried about body parts touching and there is no sense of competition so working together as a team to give pleasure to my sweet lady just feels more natural and instinctive.

It also means I can get really close for a good view of another mans cock sliding in and out of my lady's pussy which more likely than not will be soaking wet because she is as turned on by the thought of being very naughty in front of me as I am proud to have a card carrying slut as a lover. That image can replay and  remain vivid in my head for weeks and boy is it horny as fuck.

The guy being bi means I'm free to stroke his cock and guide him back in if he slips out and I can cup his balls while whispering filth into my girlfriends ear.

Another perk of MMF threesomes is that there is never ever the whisper of beginning to feel like a third wheel. Although I can be a perfectly respectful voyeur (and enjoy it) when watching other couples fuck waiting patiently on the sidelines as a voyeur makes me restless when its my own girlfriend I just can't do it. So if the guy inside her has stamina and the two of them get lost in the moment I always have the option of keeping my cock warm with his mouth. For some strange inexplicable reason guys tend to fuck with a greater sense of urgency when I do that ;-)

Desire vs fetishization – My take when its interracial

Maybe it’s all in my imagination but these days we seem to be living in a world of tribalistic extremes. Something that makes absolutely no sense to me because there is nothing more complex than the mind of a human being.

My sex life has often had an interracial dynamic but I am always aware that there is sometimes a delicate balance to be had and I am mindful not to inadvertently fetishize someone with a background different to my own or indeed put myself in situations where I feel fetishized.

I love what feels safe and familiar some things need not be communicated verbally…….you just know. But I am also forever curious about what makes us all different. When I watched a white guy fuck my ex I found it sexy as fuck and I tapped into my wank bank streaming service for weeks afterwards.

On the flip side when a guy guides my cock into his lady and her skin complexion is different to mine it’s sexy as fuck when all three of us get to admire the contrast as I slide in and out of her special yummy place. That curiosity for something different has certainly played a role in my non-monogamous sexual journey over the years. However on the flip side because I’m repelled by fetishization I was and never will be the “perfect” swinger. Even before I heard the word I have always drifted in the direction that could lead to polyamory and shied away from ONS whenever possible.

It's easy to side-step the extreme end of fetishization because the tell-tale signs soooooo blatantly obvious. With the more subtle levels it not so easy but in my experience pausing, not making assumptions and taking the time to get to know a person always helps.

Sex Gas Masks and Post Covid Cuddles

A cock a gimp and a care bear walked into a bar......there's a joke in there somewhere I just know there is 😂.

Anyway this is going to be one of my slightly unusual somewhat reflective curveball postings...

Just over a week ago I was in a cafe sat opposite to a married woman and flirting with the intention meeting her at a hotel on our second encounter. It was a hot day and she was wearing a summer dress and oh boy do I love admiring women wearing summer dresses. I made little to no effort to hide the fact that my gaze sometimes lingered on her chest and oh so yummy looking thighs.  However in spite of my addiction for married women I had no intention of fucking her. Now you'd be forgiven for being confused at this point but here's the thing.

When covid hit and we were all in lockdown I was not long out of a serious relationship, and I had just managed to make a really good connection with not one but two amazing cuckold couples. However, in a cruel twist of fate neither of them was local to me and long story short it led to what at first was an agonising 18 month period of enforced celibacy.

Once I had got to the point of "accepting my fate" I actually got quite used to the isolation. I was also very much mindful and aware of the fact that soo many people and families suffered terribly at this time. I myself focused on developing other areas of my life and quite enjoyed the isolation. The pause from the rat race was in many ways good for me and luckily for me feeling of loneliness were quite rare. However, whenever it did occur it was like a punch to the gut and the desire that dominated all others was the desire for cuddles. It even overpowered my lust for other men's wives and boy did that take me by surprise.

Lockdown got me thinking about the second world war and although I didn't do any deep research into the topic it got me wondering if that period of time was the birth place of the gas mask fetish. Did 2020 give birth to a cuddles fetish? I wonder what history will say.

I have always been a cuddles kinda guy but in a swinging context I have always been a little bit hesitant to cuddle as much as I would like for fear of my intentions being misread as romantic in the conventional sense of the word. I suppose its a bit like kissing someone's wife/girlfriend a bit too long it just looks weird and it can create unnecessary discomfort and tension. So I'd only ever kiss beyond the point of acceptable etiquette if the partner is a cuckold oh and the kiss would last even longer if I'm making him watch while sucking my cock mmmmmmmmmm. Got a bit carried away there.........now where was I?

Ah yes back to the topic at hand. During lockdown I did get into the odd conversation with women and like me some of them did indeed have the same ache to meet just for cuddles. So although it was never acted upon it did get me thinking. Just as having a Fuck Buddy or Friends With Benefits is seen as a complication free way to connect sexually. Couldn't a Cuddle Buddy serve a similar...ish role?

Its hilarious but I think I feel more self conscious coming out of the closet as a cuddles craver than I did as a Bull that also has deep cravings to suck cock. But it is was it is, covid unlocked a need in me that is greater than I realised and I feel a responsibility to be true and honest with myself just as much as I did when it dawned on me that I wasn't heterosexual.

Anyway lets transport ourselves back to my coffee with the married woman. At first things went really well we'd spent the best part of two hours in Costa chatting and enjoying each others company. However when dropping her home in the privacy of my car she admitted that her real agenda was to find men she felt comfortable enough to fuck as well as snuggle with for hours. 

Something switched in my brain. When I know a woman is "naughty" I'm like a moth to a flame. I instantly got horny and my cock was now pressing slightly painfully against my jeans. What should have been a friendly good bye kiss on the cheek ended up as a very passionate kiss I was soooooo ready to fuck at that point...........damn it!!

This may sound weird and you may be thinking "what the fuck are you crazy?" but in my quest for a genuine cuddle buddy I don't want penetrative sex to be on the agenda. I wrestled for a few days but then ultimately decided that it would be best not to take things further with the lady. Yes in the heat of the moment I'd probably go with the flow but on the flip side I don't want a cuddle buddy who is secretly feeling flustered and frustrated if a fuck isn't the final outcome. A sensual tease for some is something to be savored but for others it feels like vindictive torture. That's reason number one for deciding not to meet her again. Reason number two, I class myself as Ethically Non-Monogamous so although over the years I have fucked (polite cough) my fair share of other men's wives and girlfriends with relish it has never knowingly been without their consent, blessing or encouragement. 

Although I wouldn't throw a tantrum if a cuddle buddy transitioned into a FWB. I'm  still very specific in my desire for a platonic...ish cuddle buddy to bond with on a deep level too. I see it as one of several interesting ways to connect with a woman and I always love an adventure.

My quest continues.

A Polyamorous Bi Black Bull. Is That A Thing??? Part 3 of 3

........ on the surface Katherine appeared to have every non negotiable quality that I'm looking for in a woman. Intelligence, a kind heart and an open enquiring mind both in general and sexually. Not only does she have those qualities in abundance but she appeared to have so many "nice to have" qualities too. She sounded too good to be true so I decided to be cautious but to also keep an open mind.

One of my biggest areas of concern centred around whether or not Katherine would be comfortable knowing that as our relationship developed I would still be on the look out for both couples and single ladies. Its a bit of a tricky balancing act because although I wanted to be free to meet other people another priority was to give the relationship the opportunity to grow to it full potential if  things continued to go well.

We quickly came to the conclusion that for an indefinite period we would focus on getting to know each other. So if anyone were to be a fly on the wall when we were together they would be forgiven for thinking that we were a conventional couple dating and getting to know each other. However we did still continue to have separate adventures. The only condition being that all adventures with new people would include sober conversations about sexual health so that all concerned can continue to have their cake and eat it.

Although we were not attending swinging parties together we would share information. This was in part necessary because Katherine is still relatively new to the lifestyle and I have been using the benefit of my experience to guide her so as to help ensure that her experiences are as positive as possible. As an added bonus knowing that she has been seeing other men and women is a major turn on for me. What is torment for some is for me nothing short of pure lust filled bliss. 

Perhaps more often than not any time I meet Katherine there is a strong probability that another mans cock has been inside her. Want to know how much of a turn on this is for me? Put it this way while dating Katherine there was a period of time in which I was also dating a sexy black lady. She too was in her early days of exploring swinging and ethical non-monogamy. On one particular Saturday night Daniella had attended a BMFC interracial party by herself. I wanted to be sure she was ok so I told her to text me the following morning. When she did she said that she had been a very bad girl. I told her to stop talking and that I would be at her hotel room in an hour. I forbade her from giving me any more details until my cock was inside her.

I got to her hotel room with breakfast and boy was I eager to find out what she had been up to, she was just as eager to tell me. We finished our breakfast and then I slowly began teasing her pussy with my cock. She told me about how she had danced provocatively with two black men and that by the end of the night she had fucked three complete strangers. The lust I felt as she relayed her adventure was so intense my head spun. 

I'm forever saying that I love bad girls and have no time for good girls. That's not entirely true as it's also something of a crude over simplification.

Who I crave and most desire are sexually liberated nice women. To my mind something magical happens when a woman feels free enough to unshackle herself from guilt and simply enjoys the pleasures of sex. Its truly a wonder to behold and be a part of. I think this leads neatly on to one of the reasons why I am so sexually drawn to married women. 

Not being a woman all I have to go on is a bit of clumsy empathy. But with the way society is structured to impose guilt on women I imagine it must feel incredibly liberating to be in an environment where you can let go of all inhibition and set free ones deepest and darkest sexual desires safe in the knowledge that no judgement or negative consequences result from it. It must be the most amazing feeling. Its certainly a joy to be a part of.

Dipping into what is seen as taboo is partly why I so enjoy making cuckold handle my cock when I fuck their wife/girlfriend for the first time. For me its as symbolic as it is erotic to have the male half of a couple be the one to guild my cock into the woman he so loves.

On the flip side I am besides myself with excitement at the prospect of one day soon guiding another mans cock into my girlfriend's sweet pussy. I have seen one guy fuck her at yet another BMFC party but the novelty very quickly wore off. She too has now also seen me fuck another woman at a highly erotic couples party that we recently attended. Boy was that an exciting night. Just short of a year into our relationship that crucial question has now been answered for both of us. How will we each feel at the site of seeing the other being kissed or fucked by someone else. We both passed the test and can say with confidence that compersion is now fully interwoven within our relationship.

Anyway back to the interracial party. Katherine had a wonderful time being fucked by the guy. He had a good body and fucked my lady with great vigour but because he was straight and didn't have a collaborative "work together to please the lady" mindset boredom set in quite quickly. So I politely kicked him out of the room. Because of that slight mishap we now have new guidelines in place. If we're together and she see's a guy she likes and he is straight I won't hang around but just pop in and out of the room. But if he's a bicurious cock sucker like me then all three of us will feast to our hearts content.

A Polyamorous Bi Black Bull. Is That A Thing??? Part 2 of 3

 .....so at this point you may be asking yourself how my personal circumstances have changed. Well once again I am in what I hope ends up being a long lasting relationship, the longer the better ideally. Although being single during lockdown was painful on many levels it did give me the opportunity to step back and reflect on what direction I would like my life to go in once things got back to any kind of normality.

I knew from past experience that as a single male a sex life that consisted entirely of swinging wasn't a good fit for me. I remember sometimes returning home from an adventure with a couple and although the experience would have been a lot of fun I'd sometimes be aching for a good cuddle and particularly with couples not that well known to me that need could very easily be misunderstood. Perhaps not so much in an adventure with a single lady but even then there could be room for misinterpretation. 

However, the prize for the most empty feeling without doubt would relate to nights out at a swinging club in which I felt no connection with anyone. I'd be driving home in the early hours of the morning thinking to myself  "what the fuck are you doing Danny?" boy did it feel shit.

Yet on the flip side I also know that when I've tried to live a more conventional life I would end up feeling like a part of me was suppressed and unfulfilled. Therein lies the dilemma how was I to feed and nurture both extremes. At one end is the ache for genuine companionship, affection hell even the "L" word and at the other end encoded within my DNA is my dark wickedly mischievous side and its need for an outlet to express itself. 

So there was me with a new sense of purpose on two very distinct missions. On the one hand a desire for companionship and on the other that need I have to be with another man's woman. If you have read any of my previous blogs you will know that the woman is ideally someone’s wife and that I have a strong preference for wives who enjoy being fucked by me in the presence of their husband at lease occasionally if not all the time  (even the phrase "my wife" can make my cock twitch 😈).

I updated both my dating and swinging profiles with a sense of purpose and excitement wondering which mission would bear fruit first.

Whatever couple I would eventually find certain requirement would have to be met. Priority number one they must must MUST live less than and hours drive from me. For me one of the most frustrating aspects of covid was the fact that just before lockdown I had met two amazing cuckold couples but to get to either of them it would have been a two hour illegal drive. Had either of them lived closer to home I could have conceivably had a covid safe fuck bubble and all the time in the world to get to know them 😈. 

By the way getting to know a couple well is one of the aspects of cuckolding that I really enjoy. It's a slow process and one that I like to savour. This is why I ever so regretfully swipe left mentally when approached by couples who live too far away from me even if they would otherwise be an ideal match.

For my companionship mission there are also must have qualities in any woman that I'd want to be with. Besides living reasonably local to me she would also need to be fully accepting of the more mischievous side of my sexuality. So in order to minimise awkward conversations my dating profile made it clear that I was non-monogamous. I also made a point of only swiping right if a woman's profile said the same. I'm hard wired with a sense of fair play so the more adamant a woman was about her non-monogamous mindset the more comfortable I'd feel swiping right.

That's how Katherine came into my life. She told me that one of the things that made me stand out was the fact that my profile stated that I'm looking for a woman that wants me NOT a woman that needs me. She lives a busy life and our first date was via Zoom. Although not face to face the chemistry was instant. She pointed out that she too was on a journey and that she had concluded that polyamory was the right path for her. It was very clear that although she was looking for something meaningful she had no intention making her pussy exclusive to me. She also didn't flinch when I spoke about my need to meet couples and that I am bicurious.........FUCK!!!!! I had to pinch myself......had I struck gold?.........

A Polyamorous Bi Black Bull. Is That A Thing??? Part 1 of 3

It's Monday morning and I'm now just days away from attending an interracial swingers partly with a theme that caters more closely and overtly to my sexual preferences. It’s the BMFC Bull night at Xtasia’s. It's because of the theme that I'm prepared to make the long trip......long for us Londoner anyway 🤣. Interestingly the very last time I made the trip was shortly before the first Covid lockdown back in early 2020. 

Talk about a cruel twist of fate. At the time I was just coming out of a long-term relationship. Although we would sometimes swing as a couple there were no opportunities for me to continue with my adventures as a Bull with couples. Until that last party I hadn't quite realised how much I had missed meeting couples within the cuckolding dynamic. Getting to know couples beforehand has always been a more natural approach for me and this was very much the case that night.  

I host a very discreet carefully vetted messaging app chat group that caters exclusively to swingers who enjoy interracial fun with bicurious and bisexual black men. Some of the members attended that night and I was lucky enough to have fun with two of the couples. Both were very different and that was reflected in the type of fun that I had with each one. I've gone into this in more detail in a previous blog so in this one I will just summarise. 

The first couple was the older of the two. I don't think I will ever get over the rush that I get from being able to openly flirt with another man’s wife in his presence it’s so NOT the right and proper thing to do mmmmmmm. What's also a rush is witnessing the excitement of cuckolds when they know that they don't have to keep a distance when I'm having fun with their wives. The cuckold from the slightly older couple wasted no time when we got into one of Xtasia’s private playrooms. After lots of sensual kissing we all got naked. As soon as I leant over to taste his wife's pussy the cuck went straight for my arse and started rimming me. His pent up desire to "service me" as the Bull was horny as fuck. 

With the second younger couple the dynamic was very different. We met by the edge of the dance floor and within moments the wife and me were kissing. It was instinctive and we could barely keep our hands of each other. The BDSM Dom in me sensed her submissive side but more importantly what kind of sub she was, so I gave her a task. It was to fuck as many black men as took her fancy and to come to my hotel room later that night. That she did and boy did we have fun. As a reward for being such a good sub I made one of her fantasies come true by later inviting one of the guys from my chat group into the room. Her cuckold was a bit on the shy side so he didn't get quite as involved as the first one.  

Fast forward to now it's April 2022 The BMFC (Black Mans Fan Club) party is just days away but my personal circumstances are rather different. So what will my approach be this time around? hmmmmmm....