The cuckold emissary vs the FLR cuckoldress PART TWO

It’s been a long time coming but now feels like a good time to finally bring this two part blog to its natural conclusion. Lockdown is now a reasonably distant memory and my enforced 18 month celibacy is just as distant…..thank fuck for that right?

I’m grateful to now be in a much better position. I’m no longer single and I’m lucky enough to have a partner who is totally accepting and understanding of my long held addiction for couples. This by the way is no accident. Covid has had the effect of reinforcing my belief that life is there to be lived and that one shouldn’t compromise on what one wants. Naturally there is a caveat, it being so long as no one else is hurt or harmed.

Anyway, in the first part of this blog I touched on the subject of cuckold couples that have a dynamic that is totally led by the female half of the couple. Based on what I know I would have to conclude that truly female led cuckold relationships (FLR) are extremely rare. However there does appear to be a sizable proportion of couples in which it is something of a grey area. What do I mean by that? Well in all my years of meeting couples I can only think of one with whom the whole get to know you process was with the lady until finally meeting in person. That was a strange one for me because I usually have a very good idea of what makes the cuckold tick. It worked out very nicely though. They were one of the two couples that I met at the very last party I attended before covid. Within moments of finding a room to play in as soon as I leaned over the sexy lady he sank to his knees parted my cheeks and worshiped my arse with his tongue.........without being prompted, he seemed very content 😈

Now where was I ah yes, within the FLR spectrum most of the time the first move will have been made by the couple together and over time once trust has been established the cuckold takes a back seat leaving me and his love to get closer to each other to form a nice bond. 

Bond huh. Talk about playing with fire remember the first part of this blog when I mentioned that lifestyle cuckolding is a bit like an extreme sport? Boy did I fuck up in my early days. This was back when I played with couples in more of a hotwife dynamic. I don't think I even knew of the existence of the word cuckold in those days. Anyway I used to text and call one particular wife on a very regular basis.. I'm talking multiple text messages on an almost daily basis. Long story short we both confused lust and infatuation with love and......oh boy were we silly. Retrospectively comical in some ways but still very very.......very silly. 

From time to time her husband would text me saying no calls/text's tonight I need my wife to myself and although I always respected and went along with his specific requests I was in way too deep. I hasten to add that I never repeated that mistake and the lessons of that "relationship" have served me well with knowing what lines not to cross. Life is a classroom right?

One of the biggest lessons that I learnt was although you can't control feelings you can control what you do about them and when you nurture those feelings that's a conscious decision. Some of you may disagree with this conclusion but it's my truth. This is how I navigate the potentially dangerous minefield when everyone has agreed to meet on a regular basis.

This leads neatly on to some of the differences between getting close to a couple with a FLR dynamic. It's a different kind of "interview" process. Of course I can't claim to be intimately knowledgeable of the mind of a woman but I do think I've picked up a few insights over the years. I think a woman wants to feel safe with her Bull not just physically but emotionally too and one area of caution from the hotwife's perspective is her need to be sure that the Bull doesn't forget the boundaries that are set by a couple. An experienced Bull will know this instinctively so even if he is dealing with an inexperienced couple he will know what lined not to cross and crucially he will never exploit his superior knowledge to the detriment of the sanctity of the couples relationship.

An inexperienced single male who hasn't done his homework might charge in head first like a ..........Bull 🤣 and get carried away with what I call the fake pantomime of humiliating the cuckold. A more experienced Bull will never assume that the cuckold craves humiliation and knows that even if he does they may not want it to be directed at them by the Bull. When a Bull conveys this understanding to the lady and sees that outside of "play" the Bull clearly respects the man she loves it frees her to let her guard down and that's when all the fun begins 😈

The cuckold emissary vs the FLR cuckoldress PART ONE

Its funny, years back when I first started blogging although I enjoyed sharing my thought process the main theme of my blogs was to titillate by describing in detail what I got up to with the couples that I was meeting at the time. These days I'm a little more reflective but I still like to throw in a few juicy bits. Another reason why my blogs are currently more reflective is the blue balls inducing fact that I don't have a regular cuckold couple that I am able to see on a regular basis. There was me ever so patiently building potential foundations with a handful of couples and then....BAM!!!

 Covin-19 *#%!!#!!# grrrrrr. damn, am I going to have to start all over again whenever when is??

Oh well I'm just going to have to find a way to make the most of a not very nice at all situation. Maybe its an age thing but the older I get the more I find myself less interested in one off swinging meets with couples and more interested in arrangements with couples that are semi-regular in nature. Its not exactly a new thought process for me and I have no doubt that it has a lot to do with why I am so powerfully drawn to cuckold couples in particular. 

Now don't get me wrong I love having fun with hotwife and bi couples (especially because I'm now a cock sucker too) but with cuckold couples there is a delicately nuanced distinction that generally speaking isn't there with other dynamics. Of course this is is an over simplification that doesn't take into account the oh so many shades of grey and yes there are always exceptions to this rule but please accept my polite request to bear with me.

A cuckold is much more likely to flirt with the ultimate danger the Icarus's of the swinging world perhaps. Although the term Bull is used a passionate cuckold is actually flirting with the concept of a Bull in all but name being his wife's lover. If swinging is a danger sport then the cuckold lifestyle in its purest form must be the most high octane adrenaline inducing no safety net danger sport there is.

As a swinger with experience of shared adventures with past girlfriends I'm able to tap into and understand those desires. As a Bull forever addicted to the cerebral intoxication I get when I take another mans wife I get it on that level too. Its deep and its primal. As a compassionate empathetic human being I also understand my responsibilities. And that’s why I enjoy getting to know...

THE CUCKOLD EMISSARY

Although there are always exceptions more often that not my first contact with a cuckold couple from sites like Hotwifing and FabSwingers is via the husband/boyfriend. Its usually him that had the fantasy first and even when that’s not the case he is the one most likely to fixate on and dedicate time towards turning the fantasy into a reality. More often that not the wife has "better things to do with her time" especially in the early stages.

By the way this is one of the aspects of the lifestyle that I really enjoy. sometimes it feels like a game of chess that can span weeks, months and yes even years. However unlike in chess, everyone wins.

I do have a caveat though having to weed out time wasting fantasists is the part I loath. Experience is forever finetuning my bullshit detector so although I'm getting better I loath fantasists who have no intention of ever revealing their fantasy to their wives. Its a total waste of my time, time that could have been better spent getting to know a genuine cuckold. I don't have a problem with fantasist who are up front about just being a fantasist though I just wish more of them would be more honest both to me and themselves. 

In my opinion if you're an experienced Bull you need to be aware of the fact that you are both the interviewer and interviewee that you are both the hunter and the hunted. The cuckold is sizing you up. He wants to know if you are the real deal. Are you a Bull or are you just another guy looking for an angle to get an easy fuck with his Mrs. If things develop and you end up spending time alone with his wife are you the kind of man who will want to have is wife or HAVE his wife. When alone with her are you going to indulge in fun filth and escapism with her or are you going to plot and try to plant seeds with the selfish goal of sabotaging their relationship? If the three of you are to have shared experiences how happy are you to with involving the cuckold. Will you ignore the cuckold, tolerate him or relish his involvement?

Speaking as someone who has previously been part of a couple who swings they were certainly some of the questions that would pass through my mind.

So what about now what matters to me from the Bulls perspective? I will want to know how experienced they are with the cuckold dynamic. Are they virgins, are transitioning from a swinging dynamic. Are they cuckold lifestylers or do they prefer to dip in and out for a bit of fun now and then. Does the cuckold have his wife’s blessing and if he does are their desires aligned enough to not be a source of friction. Is the cuck submissive to his core or an Alpha cuck. Are they looking for exclusivity a main Bull a handful of, or many Bulls? All these questions and more need to be delved into.

As a Bull I am fully aware of my need to be flexible. But I too have needs and have to be mindful to not compromise on a few core areas that are important to me and my desires.

.....PHEW!!! That sounds like a lot of hard work you might say....well it is. To my mind if you are more closely aligned to the cuckold dynamic as opposed to for example the Hotwife, Stag/Vixen dynamic you're not going to be fucking as many women. It can be oh so frustrating and the successes can sometimes be few and far between. Its for that reason that I shook things up a bit some years back. After all Bulls have a rather high sex drive and blue balls are blue balls lol

So you may ask..."is there a plus side to spending all that time chatting with a cuckold?"

Fuck yes!!

If the couple are close, highly communicative and emotionally in tune with each other the cuckold knows his woman. He knows what she likes and if he likes you he will do everything in his power to ensure that when you do finally communicate with or meet his wife in person just about every obstacle to you having her has been demolished.....that's if you have been paying attention and asking the right questions.

Speaking personally that’s not the only reason I like to get to know the cuckold. I'm actually a pretty sociable person and enjoy spending time with people who have a shared interest and what can be more engrossing than two men that two men with a shared passion for the cuck lifestyle and the same woman. Its genuinely an honour when a cuckold proudly shows off about his wife to me, trusts me enough to open up be vulnerable and let me "have" the love of his life. That’s the happy hedonistic side of me speaking.

The dark deviant perv in me remembers all I know about the cuckold when I'm spending time with his wife not so much when I have her to myself but when the cuck is in the room my knowledge of him as a person adds to my pleasure. I know how he feels when I'm kissing his wife. I know what’s going through his mind when he guides my cock into his loved ones pussy....and if he is a jealous cuckold with any overt or closet bi tendencies my dark twisted side relishes the mental roller coaster ride of the cuckold.

One of the things I relish most when a jealous bi cuckold is in the room is not just his jealous arousal of me when I kiss and fuck his wife but his envy of his wife because I'm fucking her and not him. That all he gets to do is suck my cock but his deeper desire to be fucked my me goes unfulfilled....oh yes my dark evil side relishes his turmoil.

BUT!!

Everything I just said is meaningless if one key element isn't in place its the woman who has the final say. Bond all you like with the cuckold emissary if his partner isn't on board two? Well it ain't gonna happen is it lol

That's what makes it extra interesting on the rarer occasions when its actually the wife or girlfriend who reaches out to me first. I'll talk about that in PART TWO

Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 1 of 3

The older I get the more I try to distance myself from labels because they can sometimes be so inadequate, one dimensional and limiting. That said sometimes for the sake of clarity one is forced to either use or acknowledge them. One of the most prevalent topics of discussion that comes up again and again in the Fabswinger forums that I sometimes chat on or observe is cock size. Especially the size of black dicks.

The term BBC used to rub me up the wrong way and no that’s not just because by Bull standards my cock barely makes it into the big cock category. That’s right  I’m a black man with an “average” cock.

What?????  Yep some of you may be hearing this for the very first time. Are you sitting down? Some black men have.........average cocks.......now brace yourself there's more......some black men have small cocks.

At this point some of you may be thinking how could I possibly cuckold someone if I "only" have and average size dick. The simple flipant answer to that question would be. I don't know I just do. I've been swinging for a very long time and for many a year when chatting online the very first question people would ask me, often as a conversation opener was "how big is your BBC?" 

Over time my response transitioned from an answer, to a mental roling of my eyes, to a groan to a....well you get the picture. I basically got sick and tired being addressed so rudely. Sure ask me about my cock and what I look like but as a start of a conversation I consider it the height of disrespect.

So what did I do? I decided to nip it in the bud. The swinging profile I have on sites like Black to White and Hotwifing make it clear what size cock I have. Just as I am openly bicurious, I openly state the size of my cock too. My basic attitude is "lifes too short this is me take me as I am or don't". What effect did it have? Well a good one. The constant trickle of stupid questions asked by idiots came to a stop. Not completely but dramatically enough for it to no longer be a pain in the arse. 

Almost magically the caliber of conversation from the people approaching me improved. Conversations flowed naturally and questions asked were so much more mature in nature. Now don't get me wrong. If a woman or couple has a thing for black guys with premium sized big cocks I'm not going to hold that against them we all have a right to like what we like. After all I myself am bicurious and when I meet a bi couple as opposed to a cuckold couple its nice if the guy has a yummily weigthy cock that I can stroke or suck.

Anyway back to the main topic. As a single male in persuit of hotwives...especially hotwives that may potentially have a cuckold husband isn't the most basic of requirements to be the proud owner of a magnificently proportioned dick?

Basically

Does size matter?

The answer, MY answer is in part two of this blog.....

Once a Bull always a Bull?

So here I am beginning yet another chapter in my love life and sexual adventures. In the previous chapter I was in a deeply loving relationship with a most wonderful woman. Highly intelligent, sexy a joy to be with and a true friend. In fact we still are friends but the dynamic of us living together in a committed loving relationship ran its course. As a non-monogamous relationship, it meant we both got to indulge in some rather naughty adventures together.

As I reflect on it I’m so relieved by the fact that sexual jealousy resulting from our lifestyle was not the reason that the relationship came to an end. That for me is a source of reassurance, reassurance in that I feel yet more confident that when with the right woman it is indeed possible for me to be in a loving relationship and still have the ability to express my sexuality with persons other than my loving partner whoever that might be in the months and years to come.

However although the relationship was non-monogamous in nature compromises were made on both sides so as to ensure that feelings were not hurt. Some adaptions were easy, others over time and in retrospect were somewhat more challenging. At the time I was ok with it but there is one particular compromise that I’m not sure I will be able to make again. I may find myself eating my words at some point but right now I doubt it.

So what was that compromise? Well it was the ability to meet couples by myself. Foursomes are great fun but with the way my mind works there is something particularly and ever so wickedly pleasurable about planning to meet a couple as a single male.

I am forever drawn in by the lure of other men’s wives and girlfriends. This box was opened years ago and trying to close it again would just be an exercise in futility. Oh and just in case this is the first blog of mine that you are reading. Please be aware that I’m not one of those guys that gets a kick out of stealing people girlfriends or sleeping with married women as a danger sport. Clandestine fucks just isn’t my thing, I can most certainly understand the thrill, its just not my thrill.

The thrill for me is very particular to the fact that one way or another everyone is involved and getting something out of it. Its a three-way mind fuck that for me is intoxicatingly delicious….and addictive. I love witnessing the liberating effect on a woman when she is free to express her sexuality without judgement from the man that matters most to her in her life. As a Bull I get to be with a woman when she is at the peak of  feeling free, sexy and desired….and as a man who has been in open relationships I have a keen sense of what it feels like to be the man witnessing his loved one being fucked by another man.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m no angel so if a hot cheating wife or girlfriend were to relentlessly pursue me, theoretically wouldn’t say no but the thrill of biting into juicy forbidden fruit just wouldn’t be there…....wow as I type this and think back over the experiences that I have had with women I can’t think of a single time that I have knowingly fucked a married woman without her husband being fully aware of the fact……hmmmm interesting. 

So what’s next. Here’s me single again and pondering what path to follow, what’s my highest priority at this point. Build another special relationship with someone, try to quench my insatiable thirst for another man’s wife/girlfriend or somehow get the best of both worlds?

The latter sounds like the best fit for me right now and that’s exactly what I have been doing. Besides chatting with potential couples on FabSwingers I have also joined a rather interesting new site called Hotwifing that focuses primarily on pairing hotwife couples with single males/Bulls like me. It has a lot of potential so I am going to be keeping a close eye on it as it grows.

Perhaps in my next blog I will talk in detail about the two sexy wives that I met at an interracial swinging event a few weeks ago. Both encounters were deliciously naughty and in two very different ways. 

With one the sexual chemistry between us was so unbearably intense it was almost like self-inflicted torture. Up until that night all of my communications had been with her husband online. However all of my communications with him had been fairly abstract and I only had a vague idea of what his wife was like.

When we finally got to meet that night as soon as our eyes met there was instant chemistry which for me is quite unusual. The three of us were chatting and I just knew I had to kiss her. So I did, I’m not even sure if I asked for permission on this occasion the chemistry was that potent. There are two things that I do remember quite clearly though. I whispered two very romantic things in her ear while caressing her neck. I remember telling her that I would fuck her that night….and I also remember telling her to fuck any black guys that takes her fancy and to come to my hotel room with her husband before the night is out. I will tell you all about what happened in one of my future blogs.

From straight Bull to Club Biversity cock sucking bisexual interracial party host? WTF?? P/T 2 of 2

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From straight Bull to Club Biversity cock sucking bisexual interracial party host? WTF?? P/T 1 of 2

I'm holding my breath, crossing my fingers and touching wood for good luck. In just a few days I will finally find out if my experiment has worked. To the best of my knowledge no one has ever hosted a swinging party that focuses primarily on bi and bi curious single black men and the swingers that want to have fun with them.

Yes there are bisexual parties and yes there are interracial parties but to the best of my knowledge the two have never been combined. Why is that? Based on my past experiences as a Bull I am convinced that the demand is out there. Back when I was still single I would be contacted on an almost daily bases by couples almost desperate to meet black men who are ok with having their cock sucked by the male half of a couple too. Bi and especially cuckold couples would complain to me in frustration about the fact that the black guys they were seeing wouldn't entertain the thought of taking things to the next level.

For me this was great. My swinging profile made it clear that I was happy to be serviced by cuckolds and to ensure that nothing was left to doubt, I changed my profile picture to one that showed me having my cock sucked by a masked cuckold. Were it not for the fact that most couples contacting me lived miles from London I would have had a lot more encounters than I did. As you may know from previous blogs that was a major source of frustration for me at the time.

Fast forward to the present, as one half of a couple that swings the situation has changed to a very different dynamic. We're both swingers but some of our tastes differ. She feel more at ease when we have fun with single guys and my preference is to have fun with other swinging couples both straight and bi. One of the ways we compromise is to never knowingly have fun with single guys unless they are bi curious. Everyone involved gets to suck cock and my girlfriend gets to have DP and DVP fun, both of which make her insanely horny.

Another area in which our preferences differ is that the idea of private and hotel meets with swingers makes her very nervous. However for me as a long time swinger it feels much more natural. When I first started swinging, clubs did not dominate the swinging landscape the way they do now. Most swingers got together at private parties and hotels.

This brings me back to some of the inspirations behind the birth of Club Biversity. One being the fact that I wanted to find a more effective way for us to get to know more like minded swinging couples.

Another and very important motivation behind the creation of Club Biversity is the fact that guys having fun with each other at swinging clubs is heavily frowned upon. Now don't get me wrong. There are a lot of open-minded swingers out there. However there are enough swingers with prejudices to make it impossible to relax completely as a bi or bi curious male when attending swinging clubs and events. Even on so called bi nights at clubs guys have come up to me with something negative to say when they have seen guys sucking or fucking each other......seriously????

Anyway, I didn't truly appreciate how on guard I was at conventional swinging parties until the first time I attended a monthly bi night that actively vetted the guests to ensure that only bisexual males got an invite.

FUCK!!!!!!!!

That was a night of revelations and one that I will never forget.......

How to swing as a couple and not fuck it up P/T 2 of 3

....... Although very naughty and very adventurous sexually. From a swinging perspective Foxy was still very new. Her approach was to keep a cautious but open mind about the possibility of things developing into something with roots. She was fine with letting things develop on a "lets see what happens" basis. She would have been fine with us just be friends, fuck buddies or friends with benefits as a starting point.

I too would have been happy with this too. That said I felt that Foxy was special and quite frankly if there was the potential of things developing into anything more serious I didn't want to let her just slip through my fingers, or fuck up.

In retrospect although my personal circumstances had now changed there are a number of things I did when I previously met someone special that could have played a part in things not working out for us. If you are in any way curious please feel free to take a look at the blog about the impact that she had on me. 

Foxy came into my life at a time when I was seeing two couples on a semi-regular basis. One cuckold, one bi. With the cuckold couple because they were only a 30 minute drive away I got to see them more often then any previous couple. The cuckold was still in need of much training but in other ways he showed so much potential. He was great at fluffing and seemed to relish the humiliation of rimming me while his girlfriend looked on.

The bi couple was something of a revelation to me. I met them at a swingers camping festival but was only after getting to know each other over a five month period that we actually played with each other. It was on one of these occasions when I organised a mini cuckold party that we had one of our most memorable adventures together. During the party itself I wasn't really in a playing mood. I was much more concerned about everyone having a good time. However after the party they stayed behind. Because we knew and trusted each other so well we always knew when it was ok for me to fuck the wife without using condoms. This was one of those occasions. As a Bull with multiple partners one of my rules was never to fuck more than one woman bareback during a given time period. Given a choice my preference would be for the woman to be the partner of a cuckold but this was pleasurable in its own way too. Not being a cuckold he wasn't there for clean up duties. Basically he liked to fuck too. What gave this couple pleasure was the sensation of the husband fucking his wife after I had shot my heavy load inside her. 

As mentioned in previous blogs my hard spurting heavy cum loads have been a source of great pleasure and amazement for the couples that I have met over the years. By the end of the night her pussy was over flowing with cum from both of us and boy did it feel good being inside her.

Oh I almost forgot to mention that the husband is a very big boy. They had previously told me that on a number of occasions they had met black males but they had not been able to perform. They would arrive with the preconception that hubby would be smaller and they weren't able to handle the different dynamic for some reason.

Anyway there came a moment when I was fucking the wife while she was sucking her husbands cock. As a voyeur I really appreciated the view and to my surprise I found myself struggling really hard to resist the urge to pop it in my mouth too. After all I'm a Bull. Bulls don't suck cock.

I eventually accepted/convinced myself that this was a totally different dynamic and started to suck and lick the tip of his cock while passionately kissing his wife. As I got more comfortable I took more of his cock in my mouth. He had sucked me on previous occasions before guiding me into his wife so I thought it fair to return the favour properly lol.

I have gone more into detail about the bi couple than the cuckold couple because the play with them is more relevant to the kind of swinging fun that I now indulge in with Foxy.

After that kiss I was eager to meet Foxy again. I had already made plans to meet my bi couple friends at their home and Foxy had previously made plans to meet a couple more single guys for get to know you drinks over that same weekend. This was to be my first challenge. I'm a swinger and I had only just met Foxy so naturally I should feel free to carry on as normal. She said she was cool with us both doing our own thing but a little voice in my head told me it was probably a bad idea for me to carry on as usual. Due in no small part to her occasional comment that she was feeling increasingly disillusioned with the whole process of dating.

I felt it crucial to try and make myself stand out in some way and somehow make it clear to Foxy that with me there would be the potential of creating something special. At this point I wasn't sure how things would develop but I instinctively sensed the importance of earning her respect.

She already knew about my plans with the bi couple and I told her that instead of feeling turned on at the prospect of meeting them it was beginning to feel like a duty. It may have sounded like some kind of noble gesture but in reality I simply wasn't interested in meeting and fucking anyone other than Foxy.

As an experienced and (polite cough) fairly promiscuous man. I had been around the block enough times to know that I should trust my instincts. I felt something and didn't want anything distracting me from giving Foxy my full attention.

Foxy ended up doing the same. Like me she cancelled her dates and invited me to her place to watch a Sci-Fi TV series that we are both fans of. Thus began my second challenge. I wanted to show Foxy that I wasn't just interested in her because of her oh so delicious looking body. As a Dom and a Bull I have always prided myself on my levels of self control. I was both determined and confident that on meeting we would have quality time getting to know each other free from the first time nerves of meeting to have sex.

I should have known this plan was flawed and doomed to fail when I offered to give Foxy a massage on her bed. I know it sounds stupid but I genuinely had no intention of taking things further. Certainly not consciously anyway. Over the next three to four weeks we met almost daily......after four weeks I finally accepted defeat. Where Foxy was concerned my levels of self control were comically pathetic. I just couldn't keep my hands off her.

I now had new challenges to contemplate......

The fluidity of swinging, cuckolding and all that bloody complicated stuff P/T 3 of 3

......it has taken a while for me to complete this particular blog for a couple of reasons. One because of the fact I have been busy with other things but more importantly because of a need for some kind of resolution. For several months I had been looking forward to a very popular annual swinging event. I knew that it would be a great opportunity to have fun, socialise with like minded people and also figure out what direction I might want to go in next....however at the back of my mind was a feeling that after over a year I might also get an opportunity to meet the woman I had fallen for. 

As with a previous festival, although there were multiple opportunities to binge on pleasurable activities. I spent a fair proportion of my time socialising with friends. It was on one of these occasions that I saw her........oh shit!!!! There was me standing in a tent chatting with two couples and then I spotted her sat chatting with a guy just  short distance away. I kept my cool and carried on. There was no way she wasn't aware of my presence but like me she carried on chatting as if nothing out of the ordinary was occurring. I felt my heart thumping and my legs go weak. But interestingly not nearly as much as the last time our paths had crossed after things had come to an end.

Boy was I pathetic on that occasion. On reflection I think I came across as needy and weak. I could barely formulate a clear thought at the time. So you can imagine the rubbish that would have spurted out of my mouth lol. By the way I don't beat myself up over how pathetically needy I think I was, my philosophy is to learn from past mistakes. These were emotions never before felt so powerfully and deeply and they had to be expressed one way or another. Had I hoped to win her back at the time I couldn't have more effectively repelled her. After all it was my mental strength and inner confidence that had first played a part in turning her head. 

When my conversation with my friends came to an end I approached her. This was to be the first of a number of encounters over the long weekend. Each time it got a little easier but by the end of the weekend it was clear that for the first time in my life there was to be no post relationship friendship. For reasons only known to her it was clear that she had constructed a well fortified impenetrable emotional fortress.

For me this was sad for a number of reasons. I had lost all sexual desire for this lady long ago. The thing that I now missed most was her companionship and friendship. She is a very intelligent powerful woman and I was always drawn to those qualities in her. I was also drawn to the more vulnerable side of her nature. She always had and still did carry herself with a unique confidence all of her own, but I had known her well enough to see right through it. I have my theories for the reasons but I never tried too hard to unpick them as I had hoped that over time this amazing woman would have realised that she was safe in my hands and opened up to me more freely. I also regretted the fact that I would not get the opportunity to  thank her for the positive impact she has had on me. Yes there is pain but there have been so many positives too. However this was not to be. There wasn't even the slightest chink in her armour. Perhaps because of her personality, perhaps it was her way of being cruel to be kind or perhaps it was a combination of the two.

Either way I now finally knew with concrete certainty where I stood. So when I got home I suddenly felt free, unburdened and able to move on emotionally . Up until this point no one stood a chance of even getting close to capturing my heart.  In some ways I am a typical swinger, I get restless and easily bored. More often that not it would suite me not to meet someone more than once or twice a month and even that would be pushing it. But with the woman I fell for, even when we had met several times a week I was never bored and would begin to miss her even  as I dropped her off and lost sight of her through my rear view mirror. Yep I had it bad, no one could compete with the memory of this woman. Plus there was always the thought at the back of my mind..."what if out paths cross and she comes back into my life?"....Talk about my Achilles heel!!

Enough time has now passed for me to realise that I haven't suddenly turned into some kind of emotional wreck. I simply accepted the fact....concluded, that some people can have such an overwhelming impact on you that you are literally defenceless. So I asked myself what am I to learn from this rollercoaster experience. Am I to put up defensive walls to protect myself from harms way?  In short "hell no"

Life is for living. The way I see it you can't numb yourself from the deepest pain without numbing yourself from the possibility of the purest joy. Although all too brief I have had a taste of it now and I would like it again thank you very much. It also dawned on me that my effectiveness as a Bull meeting couples has relied on my natural ability to numb my emotions to a certain extent while still being in tune with the needs of the couples that I have encountered. In my fantasies from the perspective of a Bull the ultimate cuckold couple would be ready willing and able to to put the time and commitment into making an arrangement or relationship like this work. However experience has taught me that a deep interest in cuckolding is not the same as a commitment to cuckolding as a lifestyle. In all my years of indulging in cuckold play with couples. It was only with one couple the potential for growth into a genuine poly type relationship looked like a potential reality. By the way this has never been a problem for me. I was content with however things might have panned out. However as a result I have always held something back. With couples, especially cuckold couples I have always felt that this was always the best way to proceed. Slow, steady, with keen observation of the couple's relationship dynamic and patience. Always mindful never to fully unleash my passions until or unless I felt that the situation warranted it.

But that is no longer enough and I am now at a point where it feels like focusing on couples is too much like putting all my eggs in one basket. Although I have now met a couple of single ladies. Prior to my final encounter with the woman I fell for. When meeting single women I was guiltily of unfairly comparing them to her.

Now for the first time in a long while I feel free to be me, raw and unfiltered. This freedom was perfectly expressed at a third festival that ended just yesterday morning. There was me at a bar chatting with a couple when I felt the back of my head being sensually scratched. I turned around to discover an attractive woman looking and smiling at me. I laughed light heartedly looked away then looked back again. She was still focused on me so this time I looked back with an unmasked intensity I don't quite allow myself with other peoples wives and girlfriends. Experience can give you what feels like a sixth sense. So when you really look at someone sometimes there are no need for words. So none were said we just kissed with a passionate intensity. The same thing occurred again with this woman on the second night of the festival. Although we conversed afterwards when we first saw each other in a social setting we locked eyes on each other again. There simply were no need for words. The body language and eye contact had left no requirement for a verbal translation.

So where do I go from here. Will I finally find the right couple or does my destiny lie with an open minded women, this time on a path like mine. Or will it be both? Both would be nice because I really enjoy meeting couples and the pleasure I get while an in-love couple kiss while licking and sucking my cock together is nothing short of heavenly bliss. However, horny as that may be it falls a poor second place to spending quality time with the right woman and waking up in the morning to the feel of her arm resting gently on my chest. I hope I am able to get the best of both worlds.

Not that I intend to paint myself into a corner but if I had to choose between an open minded love interest or the ultimate fantasy cuckold couple? Well I think by this point you can guess which one I would go for. I honestly have no idea what the future has in store for me, but for me the unknown is now an open invitation for adventure.

The fluidity of swinging, cuckolding and all that bloody complicated stuff P/T 2 of 3

...........so what does an experienced swinger do when totally out of the blue and unplanned he falls in love? Talk about fucking things up, it messes with everything. More so when things come to a crashing end. What does one do and how does one even begin to get over it?

I had what I felt were two choices crawl into a cave to nurse my wounds or get back on my bike and fight through it as if nothing had happened. I chose the latter. But what if it happens again? Being the type of person that am I am forever analysing. One of my thousand and one theories is that broadly speaking although there can be a blurring of lines, swingers fall into one of two camps. Cold and detached on the surface or.....not sure how to label the other camp, heart on sleeve? emotionally in touch? emotionally in tune? hmm yes I think the last two might be good descriptions.

Anyway in my time as a swinger I have always tried to steer clear of people that choose the cold and detached on the surface approach. In the early days although I would always be polite...I think. 

It tended to piss me off. I saw it as cold dispassionate production line sex. Especially when people told me they have a "no kissing" rule. Boy, whenever I heard that phrase or read that in a profile......."if you don't wanna kiss me I certainly don't wanna fuck you, I'm a person not a f**king prop" .......lets just say it used to put my back up.

However over the years my stance has softened and I now see it as just one of several protection mechanisms that people use to navigate their way through the swinging lifestyle. Particularly with couples. Its just a way of separating what they do as swingers from what they do as a couple behind closed doors. It's still not for me though. It doesn't put my back up any more but for me the no kissing rule is a deal breaker.

So I got right back on my bike and started attending swinging events again. After all I had to start networking again. There were no couples that I was seeing at the time because quite frankly during my time spent with this lady although there was no monogamy on either side I just wasn't that interested in nurturing anything meaningful with anyone else. So in many ways it was very much like starting from scratch again. I had a few encounters but in reality my heart wasn't in it. Any time I drove to an event my thoughts would be consumed by this woman for the whole journey. so although i was able to shut her out of my mind when with someone else, as soon as I made my way home she would be back again. Yes I had fun but deep down I knew it was cold and functional. I'd joined the other camp............damn it man snap out of it and grow some balls I'd say to myself.

So here I am many months later still feeling the ripple effects of the impact this amazing woman had on me. What effect has it had on me. Where do I start? Well I'm still a Dom Bull but I no longer define myself as a Bull with nearly as much of my core sexual identity. I no longer have a single narrowly defined vision about what direction I want go in. Now I see a world of possibilities.

When you fall in love so completely and it comes to a painful end you can protect yourself so it doesn't happen again but thats just not me. I've had a taste of it now and painful as it can be, the flip side is oh so........well a couple of age old sayings have relevance here....better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. This is my favourite though. it has many variations and not normally applied to emotions but I like it.... "It is better to live one day as a lion than a lifetime as a lamb"

Forgive me but my mind is prone to going in all kind of directions, let me explore this thought process for a bit. One could argue that the swingers lifestyle is the emotional equivalent of world war one trenches or a gladiatorial arena. Is there any greater test of resilience where sex and love are concerned? Some survive others perish. You get post traumatic shock or you come out a stronger wiser being.....

The fluidity of swinging, cuckolding and all that bloody complicated stuff P/T 1 of 3

It has been a long time since I wrote my last blog. Why because in truth I just didn't really feel inclined to write yet another blog about an adventure with a couple while there was still a massive elephant in the room. That being the impact a woman had on me that has been so dramatic it just blew everything out of the water and forever altered my perceptions of reality. Even as I type I am hesitant to proceed, however I do find my blogs useful for clearing my thought processes. Besides, there is no law that says I have to publish this so lets see how I feel as I progress through this blog.

One of my reasons for hesitating is the persona one conveys as a Bull and my reluctance to expose any vulnerabilities. Having said that, the reality is that everyone has their vulnerabilities. The only thing that differs is how we carry them.

Beyond the walls of the lifestyle I have always been rather proud of the nicknames given to me by one of my closest friends. He knows just about everything that I get up to and is actually one of the reasons I started blogging in the first place. He kept pushing me to write a book about all my adventures. That sounded like too much hard work so we compromised with me writing a blog instead ;-)

Anyway he often refers to me as a vulcan, Data or Palpatine ( if you ain't a nerd you might not get it ) because of the rational, measured way I approach life even in times of extreme adversity. This has also been the approach used by me in my life as a swinger and for more years than I can remember. My initial reasons for focusing so much on couples had nothing to do with cuckolding. In fact in the early days the word barely registered in my consciousness. Due to my personal circumstances at the time I made the conscious decision to give single women a wide berth. Primarily to reduce the chances of emotional complications. Not just for my own protection but because of the code that I live by. I never want to knowingly be the source of emotional pain for anyone that I encounter.

Navigating the emotional tightrope with the wives and girlfriends of the couples I meet is almost like breathing for me. I don't do it consciously but somehow I just instinctively know how close to get without complications developing. Of course there is the occasional hiccup but more as part of the get to know you process than anything else.

Then it happened......A chance encounter with a single woman at a spa led to a friendship and that friendship led to something more. With her not being married I forgot to put my normal swingers filters up that stop me from getting too close to people. After all that's not what swinging is about.....is it?

I don't want to risk giving away her identity so I'm going to be very vague about my experiences with this woman and also how and why it came to an end. What I will say is this........bloody hell!! Now I get it. Up until meeting this woman I think I was just a casual interested observer of people experiencing the L word when its all consuming. In daily life I have often been the person people come to for advice in times of emotional turmoil. I always thought I gave good advice but never quite understood why friends couldn't quickly pull themselves together when their hearts were broken. Now I get it. Now I know why people curl up with tubs of ice cream, now I know why so many love songs are written and what the words REALLY mean ahhhh!!!

When it was good it was intoxicatingly good. I literally felt like an all powerful super being and that all things were possible. I was so sickeningly happy my non swinging friend wanted to punch me in the face and throw up. When things came to an end it was equally dramatic. I felt like Data with a malfunctioning emotion chip implant ( please forgive the reference if you're not a fellow nerd ). "turn it off, turn it off" were my thoughts.

So what now? Now things are calmer and my resilience is now back, I think, well kinda. Things have changed, I think for the better and my approach to swinging and cuckolding has now changed. All too subtle on the surface but the implications are far reaching.......

2016 New Year reflections: Do you have to be bisexual or bicurious to be a good Bull?

I am one of those people whose brains runs at 100 miles an hour as soon as I wake up in the morning. That is when my mind goes in all kinds of directions with thoughts and ideas. More so on a day like today. The first day in the year when I always find myself feeling reflective and contemplative about the year gone and the year ahead of me.

I see life as a never ending quest with twists and turns along the way. I don't let myself get too fixated on the end goal because I feel that with that approach there is always a danger that you will miss out on the joys and pleasures of the hear and now.

It is an approach not too dissimilar to how I fuck and how someone can best please me when giving my a blow job. I never ever think about how to make a woman cum and I never enjoy being given a blow job from someone that is obviously trying to make me come. Be intuitive yes, but just enjoy and savour the act for the pleasure of doing it and in time everything sorts itself out with much more rewarding results.

It is amazing how things can take unexpected turns. In my case two things have had a big impact on my life in relation to my journey as a Bull. The event that had the biggest impact is the unexpected emotional roller coater journey I had with a a single lady that I met just over a year ago. It blew my mind and I am still feeling the ripple effects. It was a very interesting learning experience. 

To this day I am still processing the impact it has had on me but one thing is for sure. I do now stand back every now and then to assess what is important to me and what makes me happy as an individual. In this context the ultimate questions are... will I forever be living the life of a Bull for cuckold couples. Will I settle down with a single lady or will I somehow combine the two? I don't yet know the answer to these questions. However the fact that I am now even contemplating multiple scenarios is interesting within itself as far as I am concerned.

The second thing that has had a big impact on me this year is my decision to embrace my bi side without any sense of shame, or discomfort. If you have read any of my previous blogs you will know that until I got into cuckolding and even with my many years of swinging behind me I was never conscious of a bi side that needed embracing. Previously if guys got too close to me in any kind of swinging situation. I would sometimes have to focus hard so as not to be put off and loose my erection. Fast forward to today and I almost feel like insisting that husbands give my cock a good suck or slip me into their wife before I fuck them lol. I jest but you get the point.

Once I realised that this was a part of my sexuality I had a decision to make. Do I do what most guys  with a closet bi side do. Deny it publicly but get up to all kinds in secret. Or do I embrace it? Now don't get me wrong i am not going to harshly judge anyone keeping this side to them a secret. Especially in the context of swinging. On swinging sites single males often outnumber couples and single ladies. So competitive as it is, for many guys it it not in their interest to say anything that might reduce their chances of meeting people to have fun with.

I too had to take that into account and as a black man it could be argued that among other black guys in the scene it could be frowned upon. So I had a decision to make, what would the fallout be, would friends and associate in the scene turn their backs on me and crucially would it result in less opportunities to meet sexy like minded ladies?

Casual scans of profiles on the swinging site I use the most FabSwingers.com reveal many profiles by couples that say "No bi men". On the flip side I often encounter profiles that say no straight men. The funny thing is, many couples profiles say that the guy is straight but they happily discuss the prospect of giving my cock a good suck when chatting to me.

Although it doesn't phase me if people describe me as bisexual. I don't regard it as an accurate description of myself. FetLife.com the fetish site I sometimes use allows for a more accurate description of how I see myself and that is Hetroflexible. However, if the day ever comes when I look into another man's eyes, get lost in them and feel an overwhelming urge to go on romantic walks with him you will be the first to know.

So back to the title of this blog. Do you have to be bi to be a good Bull? The answer to that question is no. Does it help? In my case and because I am particularly interested in cuckold couples, without a doubt having a flexible approach to my sexuality has worked very much in my favour. On balance I am convinced that it has opened more doors than it has closed. Am I having more fun as a result? 

Hell yes ;-)

How I seduced a virgin white couple at an interracial swingers party P/T 2

.....the three of us walked into what was a very small dimly lit room but there was more than enough room for the three of us. There was a little bit of small talk but none of us wanted to waste time so we all stripped while chatting.

Although I am a naturally dominant by nature I strongly believe in allowing couples to acclimatise to the situation particularly when meeting me for the first time. I know that for some people the fantasy of an all guns blazing first time cuckolding session might sound like fun. But in my opinion, more often than not the priority should be to get used to each other and establish a level of trust first. Besides, isn't it always better to have something to look forward to?

My instincts told me to take a little step back and give each other the space to feel comfortable and get in the mood. They got onto the bed and Steve promptly attended to Sally's pussy with his mouth. After a short while I climbed onto the bed too and began to caress her soft white skin. The dim lighting of the room added to the sense of intimacy and eroticism of the situation. She turned her head towards me and caressed my chest at which point we began to kiss. I think this got Steve very excited because he started to fuck her. A big no no in my book as I never let cuckolds fuck their lady in my presence without requesting my permission. However as stated previously I do sometimes make an allowance for new couples.

I took the opportunity to reposition myself and slip my cock into Sally's mouth. Fully aware that with Steve now fucking her he would be getting a close up view of his partner’s lips and tongue navigating the contours of my hard black cock. As he thrusted he looked on with fascination. I knew exactly what he hoped for at this point. So I told him that as a cuckold it was his duty to serve me and show respect by sucking my cock. They both looked at each other and asked the other if it was ok to take this bold step for the very first time.

Both were fine so Sally pointed my cock towards Steve’s face. He slipped his mouth around my hard shaft without even the slightest bit of hesitation.........fuck!!! Having guys suck my cock in front of their wife or girlfriend gives me an almightily rush. Even as I type this my cock is throbbing and I can feel pre-cum oozing into my boxers. Both their lips slid along my ebony meat and occasionally their lips met....damn horny.

Unfortunately for Steve it was again all a bit too much so he had to stop fucking Sally and back down. I told him it was now time for me to take over. Normally at this point I would have instructed the cuckold to grab a condom and put it on my cock. But on this occasion I was way too eager to fuck his beloved partner and didn't want to risk nervous inexperienced hands trying to put a condom on me. I did however pause to ensure that his hand gripped my cock and that he would be the one to guide me into his lady for the very first time. To me it is a very important symbolic moment and I wanted him to play a part in it.

As is often the case and especially when I fuck a woman for the first time I teased Sally for a while before giving her the full length of my cock. Just the tip at first. Pausing from time to time and ever so gradually giving her a bit more of me. Her pussy responded by naturally lubricating the pathway. I have flexible hips so when I finally gave her my full length in a single authoritative thrust she gasped with pleasure.

What a night, we fucked in various positions, at one point with Sally riding me. I often struggle with lying down to let a woman do that. In part because it is such a horny site, my instinct is to throw a woman back down onto the bed and fuck with maximum intensity. I  just can't lay still, so I find myself thrusting my hips upwards looking into the woman's eyes and telling her to fuck me. Probably not the most dominant thing to say but it seems to spur women on......oh what a sight, Sally rode my rigid cock with so much enthusiasm mmmmmm. From time to time she would slow down to give Steve a passionate kiss. Oh how I love that, meeting couples in a committed relationship is that little bit more pleasurable. It is certainly a key element of what I refer to as real cuckolding.

After a bit more pleasurable grinding Sally dismounted and lay down to be fucked once more by Steve. Again the naughtiness of the experience was a bit too much for him so he had to stop again after not that many thrusts. More for me ;-)

Again I took over and began to fuck Sally with relish. Between the two of them they talked excitedly about my spunk so I knew it would soon be time for me back up my king of cum claims. After a while I told Sally that I was ready to cum and that I was about to spurt my full creamy load. I pulled my cock out and quickly removed the condom......just in time. Oh the joy of fucking another mans dear lady in front of them. I erupted and blasted my creamy load all over Sally's stomach and tits. Roaring with pleasure at the delicious wickedness of it all.

As I moved off the bed Steve didn't even hesitate to reclaim his dearest Sally. He got right on top of her not the least bit concerned about the fact that my sticky deposit was all over her body. Another good indicator of Steve's openness to experiment with his inner cuckold perhaps?

They fucked briefly and then lay happily on the bed before asking me if I wouldn't mind giving them a moment to themselves before joining me outside. I explained that I fully understood and that I would chat with them again a little later.

I spent the rest of the night socialising and being a bit of a voyeur. After all there is always something interesting to see at BMFC. When I next saw Steve and Sally they were sat on a sofa by the dance floor. As we chatted they did whet they have now been doing almost daily since that night we met almost two weeks ago. They expressed there happiness in having met me, thanked me for putting them so much at ease and for making their night such a pleasurable one. I am really enjoying getting to know this couple and looking forward to guiding them down the path of darkness.....the pleasurable kind.

How I seduced a virgin white couple at an interracial swingers party P/T 1

Although busy swinging clubs are not personally my preferred way of meeting new couples I do love socialising in an environment with like minded people. When in that frame of mind BlackManFanClub commonly known as BMFC is one of my favourite events to attend.  It is run by a lady that I have known for years and although our paths don't cross as often as they did in the early years it is always a pleasure to see her.

BMFC events are held every weekend in a number of locations around the country. Being the first Saturday of the month I knew that it would be their busiest night and at a venue which is my personal favourite. It is a fairly large venue with several places to have fun. Including a cinema room, dark zones, private areas, a glory hole room and big open play areas so most tastes are catered to.

I arrived at 9.30 knowing that a couple of friend and familiar faces would be attending. For the first hour or so most of my attention was on them. Although naturally I would survey the horizon from time to time, admiring the women in their sexy outfits. As the night developed a nice looking couple sat in a corner caught my eye. I looked over a number of times and couldn't believe that none of the other guys appeared to have approached them.

I made up my mind sat beside the lady and introduced myself to them. We struck up a conversation and Sally and Steve revealed that they were brand new swingers hoping to have their very first adventure. It was their third visit to a BMFC event but up until now they had not felt brave enough or felt the right connection with anyone to make that leap from fantasy to reality. New couples are often unsure of swinging etiquette so I gave them some guidance, reassurances and the benefit of my experience in terms of how to interact with single males.

Once we had built up a nice rapport I asked them what had drawn them to swinging in the first place and what they were hoping to get out of it. They told me that they had been watching interracial cuckold porn together for several months and that it had began to feature in their fantasies quite often when they were having sex. At that point I got an instant hard on and a switch in my head changed from gentleman to wolf.

As it was a large U shaped sofa and they were sitting in a corner it had been easy for me to focus my attention on the two of them when conversing. I now sat closer with my knee pressed gently into Sally's thigh. She didn't flinch and the body language from both her and Steve was still positive.

I probed them further with more questions in order to establish if there interests leaned more toward cuckolding or hot-wifing. They were not aware of the differences between the two so I was more than happy to explain. Steve explained that in daily life he was in a position of authority and had a deep desire to be dominated. Sally on the other hand had no intention of being told what to do. This put them very firmly in the cuckold camp and the evil wolfish grin on my face left them in no doubt that I liked what I was hearing.

Typical of so many newbie couples their black man fantasy included a desire for Sally to be fucked by a black man with a really big cock. I promptly explained that as a Bull with an average size cock I would not be able to make that particular fantasy come true but that on the flip side I was a hard spurting heavy cum king. That I had a sturdy black cock that could be used like training wheels for good practice  That got us all laughing and relaxed them even further.

When I explained that I generally use swinging parties to network and don't usually fuck, they both looked at me like Puss in Boots in Shrek. so I found myself reassuring them that if an opportunity presented itself that night and they felt relaxed enough I would be more than happy to oblige......hey being patient is one thing but sometimes you just have to strike while the iron is still hot.

After a short while Sally got up to use the ladies. Steve used it as an opportunity to ask If I would join them in one of the private rooms. I said that I would be more than happy to but also assured him that if at any point they had second thoughts I would back off gracefully, even if we were all naked and my cock was merely an inch away from Sally's pussy. He found that reassuring. However I also gave him a warning by informing him that as a cuckold once we got into the room I would be expecting him to submit to my authority by sucking my cock. He advised me that he would love to but as they were new to this he wasn't quite sure how Sally would react. However, he said that if it was initiated by me she would be more likely to go with it.

On Sally's return Steve informed her about our conversation. She liked what she heard but asked if I wouldn't mind if she popped out for a quick smoke first. Probably nerves I thought. Once she returned we headed for a  narrow corridor where two lockable rooms were located. As we waited I took the opportunity to take a better look at Sally......fuck!!! I thought. All dressed in black, tight black jeans, black heels and a tight black top that pushed her tits out towards me. How I managed to  stay looking calm and collected I don't know.

At this point I think Steve's natural cuckold instincts began to kick in. He offered to get us all a drink from the bar while we waited for a room to become vacant. Cuckold or not if any couple hopes to increase the chances of having a successful encounter with a single male, in my opinion they should always find a way for the male to conveniently disappear for a while so that the lady and single male can get a little more comfortable with each others company. While Steve was away we chatted a little but it was only on his return that I touched her waist and told her how deliciously sexy she was looking. This led to them embracing in a kiss......perfect.

Finally we heard the sound of one of the rooms being unlocked. At which point I began to mentally rub my hands together with glee......