Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 2 of 3

...so does size matter?

...no

...YES!!

A tenuous link to the ending of Kingdom of Heaven ( great movie by the way ) but I hope you get my weird mental leap.

Anyway of course size bloody matters and when you add the interracial element to the mix it gets yet more fucked up and complex.....if you let it.

"You can't be a Bull you're too young, too old, too short, too fat, not black, too nice, too thuggish, cock isn't big enough etc etc"

errr says who?

I'm not saying this to be politically correct but seriously. According to who's rulebook? Now as far as I'm concerned one of the key aspects of swinging is the freedom to express oneself sexually and not allowing oneself to be limited by the views and opinions of others. 

Naturally I will add the caveat as long as it is mutually consensual, no harm is done and no minors are involved.

I'm one of those people who is fascinated by people. Its no coincidence that I purposely shaped my career in a way that allows me to interact with people on a daily basis. I'm a people watcher and forever inquisitive about what makes a person tick. That curiosity has also strongly influenced my approach to swinging and BDSM too.

If one is in anyway empathic or emotionally intelligent when you scratch beneath the surface you come to the realisation that to some extent everyone is fucked up and everyone has confidence issues. It doesn't matter what they present to the world or how they look its there. Wealth, good looks, awesome tits, a hot body a hefty meaty cock none of it protests you from self doubt.

So to me what ultimately matters is how one deals with the moments of self doubt when they happen and if one is really going to allows ones sexually journey to be dictated by others. I will start with  two negative incidents that come to mind. Both happened at swinging clubs. On the first occasion I was on a large bed with three of four other couples having sex with a woman who eventually became my girlfriend. On the second occasion I was with another woman who was my girlfriend at the time. On this occasion it was a more private room at a swinging club but it had a viewing window so voyeurs could take a peek. On both occasions I overhead a woman say to the person next to her "its not THAT big". Each time I was unable to see who made the comment and each time I blocked what they said from my mind until I'd had my fun with my lady.

Once I allowed what was said to filter back to my conscious mind I felt both anger and if honest a bit of a confidence beating. Luckily for me I was already experienced as a swinger, able to untangle it and not let it leave me permanently knocked down. I wish I had caught who said it though. Good manners and respectable behaviour have always been important to me so when I see the opposite it puts by back up. Its shocking how insensitive people can sometimes be. Some of my female friends have told me about similar experiences in which they have overhead men casually making negative comments about their bodies when at a swinging club. Its such a nasty thoughtless thing to do...and I do mean thoughtless because I think the person saying it often doesn't pause to think about the impact of their words.

That was the negative......on the flip side there have also been a couple of occasions when I have been fucking someone's wife/girlfriend and I had to give the lady time to get used to my cock because I was a bit too big. As an average dicked guy ABC lol that came as something as a surprise the first time but boy did it stroke my ego. 

It also gave me a sense of what it must be like to be the proud owner of a genuinely hefty dick. If I had a porn sized cock I would have to be a more considerate to ensure that I don't do any damage with some women. But with an average cock should the woman I'm with enjoy a hard pounding fuck I don't usually have to ever so carefully pace myself.

I'm free to thrust hard and deep to my hearts content. Its often overlooked but there are as many variables in the shape and size of a woman's pussy as the are in the shape and size as a man's dick.

I will never forget the time I was at a swinging spa and got chatting with another black guy. This was well over ten years ago back when I thought I was straight lol. Anyway on the surface he couldn't have been a more perfect example of many a woman's perfect physical specimen of "the fantasy black guy". He was well over six foot good looking muscular but not too muscular for most women's tastes and judging by the shape of the towel wrapped around his waist he was blessed too.

We got chatting and before long it turned into quite a deep conversation...I sometimes have that effect on people. Long story short the poor guy was riddled with self doubt and insecurities precisely because he was such a catch superficially. He was a really nice guy and also spoke about how he is forever having to deal with insecure short guys like me who feel a need to challenge him in social situations. I felt so much empathy for the guy. Although it's the one that comes to mind I have had countless encounters with men and women in the scene and when you scratch beneath the surface without fail there is always something that crystallises that fact that we are all united by our insecurities. Once I realised that I learnt not to give a fuck about what people think if it is in any way negative to my sense of self worth.

Now don't get me wrong I'm human so I will always have my moments of weakness but they don't consume me.

So back to the myth of the BBC. There will always be size queens and there will always be husbands and boyfriends whose priority will be to witness a fat juicy black dick penetrating the love of his life. Hey I get it when with ex partners I liked it too after all I'm a massive voyeur. But for some couples it is just one of the many qualities that a couple looks for in their quest to find the perfect Bull. 

Over the years I have lost count of the number of couples, particularly cuckold couples that speak to me lamenting the fact that they just can't find a Bull that "just gets it". Yes they find it relatively easy to find someone to give the lady a decent fuck but on a cerebral level the quest to find a Bull who understand the psychology of cuckolding is more often than not a fruitless one.

I can think of a number of occasions in which there wasn't much difference in size between my cock and the cuckold and one particular cuckold whose cock was clearly bigger than mine. He is the jealous cuckold from one of my older blogs. For him part of the mind fuck was the fact that his wife was so much more sexually animated when with me in spite of his size advantage.

Interestingly I remember a conversation that I had with one of my most regular couples. When I first met them. They weren't cuckold but the husband was bi. Hi also had a massive cock. So big that when they went swinging his wife would ban him from fucking her until she had played with other guys. They said that on several occasions when they met black guy the black guy was not able to perform because the size of his dick intimidated them. I found that fact fascinating......oh and months later at a combined cuckold and bi party that I hosted. After everyone had gone home this couple stayed the night with me. Want to know what happened? ;-)

The path to yet more pleasurable filth as a swinging couple PART 3

.......the foremost questions in my mind related to how Foxy would feel if an opportunity came where there might be the possibility of me fucking another woman. Naturally from time to time it would be a topic of conversation. Particularly on the weekends that we attended swinging events. Foxy said that she would probably be ok with it when the time came, but that the idea of it made her very nervous.

Its because of this that I decided to pace things out and try not to knowingly push Foxy into any kind of situation that would make her feel uncomfortable. Fortunately I'm a patient man so waiting for the right moment wasn't going to be a problem for me. Now don't get me wrong, that didn't mean it was always going to be easy. After all, I have been a swinger for well over a decade and always loved the thrill of meeting and having fun with new people. As the months passed there would sometimes be moments when the desire to have fun that included other woman would increase. Not so much out of a desire to fuck anyone in particular but more because I wanted questions answered and wanted to come out of what in same ways was a state of limbo.

One thing however was certain. I was in no doubt that whatever the answers to the unanswered questions might be. I had no intention bringing things to an end. This was the real deal. Loving and being loved by someone you have so much in common with and get on so well with is so overwhelmingly wonderful. Were you to encounter us in our moments of normality you would be forgiven for wanting to throw up. We can be and often are sickeningly gushy with each other and cuddle constantly. I love that with a passion.

As a single male I had all the freedom I wanted. I was free to meet and have fun with anyone I clicked with and answered to no one but myself. By nature I enjoy the company of women so when you're a swinger and have the additional perk of being able to fuck some of the people you get along with.....well whats not to like?

However along with that freedom comes a downside. One might not even be aware of it on a conscious level. But over time it can creep up at you and bite you when you least expect it. That thing is loneliness. As a typically proud man I don't like admitting to it but have to acknowledge moments in time when I have felt a little smothered by it. However even when I was single I was fortunate enough not to be overwhelmed by it on too regular a basis.

This is for several reasons. I have to acknowledge the fact that I have friends and family that I can fall back on in the most extreme situations, However I also have a very strong and disciplined mind. I don't say that to boast and neither do I say that under the delusion that I am immune from cracking under the "wrong" circumstances. As with any other negative emotion I have ways of dealing with it. Not by making the mistake of trying to suppress it, but facing it head on and confronting it. All the while being careful not to give that negative state of mind too much nurturing.

So if it turned out to be the case that Foxy would never feel at ease with me fucking other women. The question wasn't if the relationship would last. But more a case of exploring what form our swinging activities would take.

Option one would be to still attend swinging clubs, soak up the sexually charged atmosphere but never involve anyone else when having fun with each other. Option two would be to focus our energies on meeting single men for MMF threesome fun. The third option would be to indulge in soft swing non-penetrative sex with other people.

Option one to me felt like one of those ideas that might sound good in theory but the actual execution may end up being problematic. Particularly if we were to go to swinging clubs on a regular bases. Were one of us to get too turned on by our surroundings it could end up being a source of frustration.

Option two sounded a little better Our first proper threesome with a single guy had been an extremely horny experience. Were this to be repeated on a semi-regular bases I could picture us having some extremely naughty adventures. However, from my perspective this would be with the condition that the male in question was like me a big fan of oral bi fun. That said I could see myself potentially feeling short changed and perhaps even resentful in the medium to long term.

Why? Because although some of my cravings now include meeting a respectful guy with a nice cock for Foxy and me to share and suck on together. For me fun with guys will always come a poor second to fun with women. Besides, as a former Bull if all our full ended up being with single males. Wouldn't that make me dangerously close to being a cuckold? .........."fuck no, ain't gonna let that happen any time soon." The same also applies from Foxy's perspective. Although she is bi-curious she has pointed out that the idea of threesomes with woman would be unfulfilling from her perspective too.

That left option three to consider. The nature of most of our adventures with others were what you would call soft swing in nature. Always extremely horny and I never walked away wishing for more to have happened, except when straight single guys were involved. Broadly speaking, when it comes to swinging I have already been there and done it all. This felt right and balanced, I could happily take this path with Foxy and not feel like I had missed out in any way.

One such soft swing encounter was at a well known naturist spa in NW London frequented by swingers . It is one of two spa that we like to go to when feeling a little horny but also quite chilled so we never go with any real agenda or sense of expectation. In terms of the decor it is the nicer of the two but not normally favoured by me because the single males that go to the venue have a reputation for being a bit too pushy when trying to ingratiate themselves with single ladies and couples.

Being as experienced in the world of swinging as I am. Handling pushy single guys is not a problem for me. But I would rather be relaxed than on guard duty when at a spa. When we arrived we did our usual ritual of taking a shower and dividing our time between one of the smallish circular Jacuzzi's and the larger pool shaped Jacuzzi, this could probably house a few dozen people.

As usual, everywhere we went we were followed. This is almost always a source of amusement for Foxy and me. The behaviour is always predictable and for me even more amusing when the guys think they are being subtle or stealth like.

On this particular evening there was quite a high percentage of black guys. This appealed to the rather wicked side of my nature that enjoys teasing. Foxy has what I would call a black man friendly body. See's all tits n ass with the face of an angel. I am now resigned to the fact that if she goes anywhere and black guys are present she is going to get looks in her direction....and that's just in normal daily life.

The single guys following us around that night were more respectable than I expected given the venue. Yes it was obvious why they were being so nice to me. But they were playing by the rules that I lived by when I was single. Always to be respectful, friendly and not carry yourself with an air of entitlement just because there were naked women in the vicinity.

As the night progressed I gradually relaxed and switched from guard dog to relaxed mode. I was also feeling rather proud to have my sexy girlfriend by my side. It was bringing out the horny exhibitionist  in us both so when we got up to find one of the small play rooms I made no attempt to lock the door.

Before long one of the black guys approached us and asked if it would be alright for him to watch. I said yes and as he entered he attempted to shut the door. A common tactic used by single guys to secure their prize and ensure that no one else ruined things for them. I told him to leave it open which he did. He stood at a respectable distance watched us climb onto the bed and started to stoke himself  as Foxy began sucking my cock.

This was a turn on for me not only because it felt good but also because I had positioned myself so that he would get a good view of Foxy's delicious curves as she sucked me. Foxy was as wet with arousal as I was hard. I invited the young black guy to slip his cock in Foxy's mouth which she happily sucked on with enthusiasm. Before long and as expected a couple of the other black guys came and watched through the gap in the door which had remained slightly open.

Soon after one of the Spa managers walked past and said that for safely reasons the door to the room had to be closed, most likely because the corridor was being obstructed. In days gone past I would most likely have told everyone to vacate at this point but on this evening I was feeling particularly mischievous.

The door shut resulting in the small and now very hot and stuffy room now being filled by three other black men. Besides myself the one already being sucked by Foxy and one white guy. Each one of them had their cock in their hand. 

Foxy continued to expertly attended to the guy's cock with her warm wet mouth. After a short while I flipped her around so that her glorious arse was in the air and positioned myself behind her. Oh what a glorious sight.

Foxy knows that I love showing off her arse and being a major exhibitionist I knew that having an audience was a major turn on for her. I could tell she was in a world of her own. Blissfully getting great pleasure from the fact that she was free to indulge in one of her favourite and most skillful activities, sucking cock. By the end of our horny session she had put a massive smile on the faces of four horny guys.

However. As horny as the situation was I was mindful of two things that night. When it comes to swinging events due to sheer numbers if one is interested in finding single males to have fun with, one will never struggle. With single women out of the equation the only way I was going to get an opportunity to play with women would be if there were other interesting couples hoping to have fun in a foursome.

There lies the problem. When it comes to couples any experienced swinging couple will tell you that it is easier said than done. Why because when it comes to foursome fun. Finding two couples equally interested in each other at a chance club or spa encounter is extremely rare. More often than not its something that has to be planned in advance.

With that in mind I began thinking of ways to try and make such encounters a more realistic possibility. 

Naturally I shared my thoughts with Foxy. I explained that although I had really enjoyed our adventure in the spa. I asked if she woukd be open to a little tweak here and there to balance things out a little.

Realistically I knew that opportunities to play with couples would never match those of meeting single males. But things could be done to at least nudge things a little bit more in the other direction.  

From this point onward we would focus the majority of our swinging adventures on two types of events. Couples nights and bi nights. Why bi nights? Because as horny as our fun in the spa was. I was somewhat frustrated by the fact that I didn't feel free to join in when Foxy sucked the guys cocks. A couple of them had lovely examples that I would really have liked to have had in my mouth too.

Not long after we attended our first couples only swinging event.....

The path to yet more pleasurable filth as a swinging couple PART 2

..........that moment finally came. Its several months ago now so I can't quite remember if he asked or I made the suggestion that he get a condom and fuck my Foxy. I do remember being nervous and wondering what impact this would have on our relationship. We switched ends so as he prepared himself I slipped my cock into Foxy's warm wet mouth. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but Foxy's cock sucking skills are truly special. I say this as a man that said for years that with regard to blow jobs I could take it or leave it. I know know that it all depends on the person doing the sucking.

Foxy sucks my cock just how I like it. Unrushed and with true enthusiasm and relish about the fact that she has a hard cock in her mouth. The guy was now ready and gently eased his cock into Foxy's wet pussy. I looked on with feelings of both lust and jealousy. Some swingers say they never feel jealousy when they see their lady being fucked. That's not me and based on past experience I don't think it will ever be me. I think I will always feel a little twinge and in my twisted perverted mind I think it adds a sprinkle of spice to the decadent pleasure of being in such situations. 

For me its quite simple, if the person expressing interest in Foxy respects her, me and the relationship I can be very accommodating. If he doesn't and feels that showing respect is an affront to his pride or ego I will be guarded and quite frankly he can fuck off.

Anyway Foxy seemed to be enjoying the situation too. She moaned with pleasure and sucked my cock with yet more relish. The whole scenario was a major turn on and when we reflected on it afterwards it strongly influenced my decision to say to her that we never knowingly engage in a threesome with a single male if he is straight. Except in very special circumstances. Perhaps if I had cuckold or stronger voyeuristic tendencies it  wouldn't be an issue but when someone is fucking my Foxy I find myself in danger of getting bored or restless. Why because I find myself beginning to feel like a bystander. However if the guy is bi he can suck my cock while fucking which to me feels far more inclusive.

Right back to the evenings events. I revealed Foxy's desire to be DVP fucked by two men at once and the guy jumped at the opportunity.  We got him to lay on the bed so that Foxy could position herself and straddle his eager cock. Once they were ready I positioned myself behind her and marvelled. Marvelled as I always do at the vision of perfection that is Foxy's arse....fuck!!!! Foxy was soaking wet with anticipation so gently guiding my cock into her tight pussy wasn't too much of a problem. Helping my girlfriend make one of her fantasies come true gave me so much pleasure. She was obviously highly aroused and that in turn was a turn on for me too. The other couple on the bed looked on with interest but it was only the woman that occasionally joined in by playing with Foxy's breasts and engaging in the occasional kiss. A few other people were also in the room watching but they always maintained a respectable distance.

After some time we changed positions and I was the one under Foxy. Quite frankly I preferred the previous position. However I am sure that he did too and I always think it is important to ensure that everyone has their fair share of fun in a threesome. After a while we stopped for a break, at which point the guy asked if we would be ok with him fucking Foxy up the arse. We wouldn't really have minded but I instinctively said no. Its the Dom in me, never too far beneath the surface regardless of the situation and the Dom in me never grants everything requested of me by a person, certainly not all at once anyway.

The guy then made a different request. Although he had previously stated that he was 99% straight he said he would like to try sucking my cock for the experience. He erm.....took to it like a duck to water. It is also why we now always refer to him as Mr 99% whenever he comes up in conversation. He sucked me while Foxy sucked him. Oh the joy......

That night as we drove home we were buzzing with excitement. Another man had fucked the woman I love and both of us were comfortable with the situation. We chatted excitedly for the whole journey and although it was a working week night and very late by this point we fucked with intense joy and passion when we got home.

The pleasure of that night was the topic of conversation for some days afterwards as we knew we had taken a progressive step forward in our relationship. Its one thing to talk about the theory of having a relationship with someone you love that includes swinging. Putting it into practice is the real test. As far as we were concerned we had passed that test with flying colours. We felt safe in the knowledge that when the conditions were right. Single males could play a role in our sexual adventures.

All very exciting but some questions still remained unanswered at this point.....

How to swing as a couple and not fuck it up P/T 2 of 3

....... Although very naughty and very adventurous sexually. From a swinging perspective Foxy was still very new. Her approach was to keep a cautious but open mind about the possibility of things developing into something with roots. She was fine with letting things develop on a "lets see what happens" basis. She would have been fine with us just be friends, fuck buddies or friends with benefits as a starting point.

I too would have been happy with this too. That said I felt that Foxy was special and quite frankly if there was the potential of things developing into anything more serious I didn't want to let her just slip through my fingers, or fuck up.

In retrospect although my personal circumstances had now changed there are a number of things I did when I previously met someone special that could have played a part in things not working out for us. If you are in any way curious please feel free to take a look at the blog about the impact that she had on me. 

Foxy came into my life at a time when I was seeing two couples on a semi-regular basis. One cuckold, one bi. With the cuckold couple because they were only a 30 minute drive away I got to see them more often then any previous couple. The cuckold was still in need of much training but in other ways he showed so much potential. He was great at fluffing and seemed to relish the humiliation of rimming me while his girlfriend looked on.

The bi couple was something of a revelation to me. I met them at a swingers camping festival but was only after getting to know each other over a five month period that we actually played with each other. It was on one of these occasions when I organised a mini cuckold party that we had one of our most memorable adventures together. During the party itself I wasn't really in a playing mood. I was much more concerned about everyone having a good time. However after the party they stayed behind. Because we knew and trusted each other so well we always knew when it was ok for me to fuck the wife without using condoms. This was one of those occasions. As a Bull with multiple partners one of my rules was never to fuck more than one woman bareback during a given time period. Given a choice my preference would be for the woman to be the partner of a cuckold but this was pleasurable in its own way too. Not being a cuckold he wasn't there for clean up duties. Basically he liked to fuck too. What gave this couple pleasure was the sensation of the husband fucking his wife after I had shot my heavy load inside her. 

As mentioned in previous blogs my hard spurting heavy cum loads have been a source of great pleasure and amazement for the couples that I have met over the years. By the end of the night her pussy was over flowing with cum from both of us and boy did it feel good being inside her.

Oh I almost forgot to mention that the husband is a very big boy. They had previously told me that on a number of occasions they had met black males but they had not been able to perform. They would arrive with the preconception that hubby would be smaller and they weren't able to handle the different dynamic for some reason.

Anyway there came a moment when I was fucking the wife while she was sucking her husbands cock. As a voyeur I really appreciated the view and to my surprise I found myself struggling really hard to resist the urge to pop it in my mouth too. After all I'm a Bull. Bulls don't suck cock.

I eventually accepted/convinced myself that this was a totally different dynamic and started to suck and lick the tip of his cock while passionately kissing his wife. As I got more comfortable I took more of his cock in my mouth. He had sucked me on previous occasions before guiding me into his wife so I thought it fair to return the favour properly lol.

I have gone more into detail about the bi couple than the cuckold couple because the play with them is more relevant to the kind of swinging fun that I now indulge in with Foxy.

After that kiss I was eager to meet Foxy again. I had already made plans to meet my bi couple friends at their home and Foxy had previously made plans to meet a couple more single guys for get to know you drinks over that same weekend. This was to be my first challenge. I'm a swinger and I had only just met Foxy so naturally I should feel free to carry on as normal. She said she was cool with us both doing our own thing but a little voice in my head told me it was probably a bad idea for me to carry on as usual. Due in no small part to her occasional comment that she was feeling increasingly disillusioned with the whole process of dating.

I felt it crucial to try and make myself stand out in some way and somehow make it clear to Foxy that with me there would be the potential of creating something special. At this point I wasn't sure how things would develop but I instinctively sensed the importance of earning her respect.

She already knew about my plans with the bi couple and I told her that instead of feeling turned on at the prospect of meeting them it was beginning to feel like a duty. It may have sounded like some kind of noble gesture but in reality I simply wasn't interested in meeting and fucking anyone other than Foxy.

As an experienced and (polite cough) fairly promiscuous man. I had been around the block enough times to know that I should trust my instincts. I felt something and didn't want anything distracting me from giving Foxy my full attention.

Foxy ended up doing the same. Like me she cancelled her dates and invited me to her place to watch a Sci-Fi TV series that we are both fans of. Thus began my second challenge. I wanted to show Foxy that I wasn't just interested in her because of her oh so delicious looking body. As a Dom and a Bull I have always prided myself on my levels of self control. I was both determined and confident that on meeting we would have quality time getting to know each other free from the first time nerves of meeting to have sex.

I should have known this plan was flawed and doomed to fail when I offered to give Foxy a massage on her bed. I know it sounds stupid but I genuinely had no intention of taking things further. Certainly not consciously anyway. Over the next three to four weeks we met almost daily......after four weeks I finally accepted defeat. Where Foxy was concerned my levels of self control were comically pathetic. I just couldn't keep my hands off her.

I now had new challenges to contemplate......

The fluidity of swinging, cuckolding and all that bloody complicated stuff P/T 2 of 3

...........so what does an experienced swinger do when totally out of the blue and unplanned he falls in love? Talk about fucking things up, it messes with everything. More so when things come to a crashing end. What does one do and how does one even begin to get over it?

I had what I felt were two choices crawl into a cave to nurse my wounds or get back on my bike and fight through it as if nothing had happened. I chose the latter. But what if it happens again? Being the type of person that am I am forever analysing. One of my thousand and one theories is that broadly speaking although there can be a blurring of lines, swingers fall into one of two camps. Cold and detached on the surface or.....not sure how to label the other camp, heart on sleeve? emotionally in touch? emotionally in tune? hmm yes I think the last two might be good descriptions.

Anyway in my time as a swinger I have always tried to steer clear of people that choose the cold and detached on the surface approach. In the early days although I would always be polite...I think. 

It tended to piss me off. I saw it as cold dispassionate production line sex. Especially when people told me they have a "no kissing" rule. Boy, whenever I heard that phrase or read that in a profile......."if you don't wanna kiss me I certainly don't wanna fuck you, I'm a person not a f**king prop" .......lets just say it used to put my back up.

However over the years my stance has softened and I now see it as just one of several protection mechanisms that people use to navigate their way through the swinging lifestyle. Particularly with couples. Its just a way of separating what they do as swingers from what they do as a couple behind closed doors. It's still not for me though. It doesn't put my back up any more but for me the no kissing rule is a deal breaker.

So I got right back on my bike and started attending swinging events again. After all I had to start networking again. There were no couples that I was seeing at the time because quite frankly during my time spent with this lady although there was no monogamy on either side I just wasn't that interested in nurturing anything meaningful with anyone else. So in many ways it was very much like starting from scratch again. I had a few encounters but in reality my heart wasn't in it. Any time I drove to an event my thoughts would be consumed by this woman for the whole journey. so although i was able to shut her out of my mind when with someone else, as soon as I made my way home she would be back again. Yes I had fun but deep down I knew it was cold and functional. I'd joined the other camp............damn it man snap out of it and grow some balls I'd say to myself.

So here I am many months later still feeling the ripple effects of the impact this amazing woman had on me. What effect has it had on me. Where do I start? Well I'm still a Dom Bull but I no longer define myself as a Bull with nearly as much of my core sexual identity. I no longer have a single narrowly defined vision about what direction I want go in. Now I see a world of possibilities.

When you fall in love so completely and it comes to a painful end you can protect yourself so it doesn't happen again but thats just not me. I've had a taste of it now and painful as it can be, the flip side is oh so........well a couple of age old sayings have relevance here....better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. This is my favourite though. it has many variations and not normally applied to emotions but I like it.... "It is better to live one day as a lion than a lifetime as a lamb"

Forgive me but my mind is prone to going in all kind of directions, let me explore this thought process for a bit. One could argue that the swingers lifestyle is the emotional equivalent of world war one trenches or a gladiatorial arena. Is there any greater test of resilience where sex and love are concerned? Some survive others perish. You get post traumatic shock or you come out a stronger wiser being.....

2016 New Year reflections: Do you have to be bisexual or bicurious to be a good Bull?

I am one of those people whose brains runs at 100 miles an hour as soon as I wake up in the morning. That is when my mind goes in all kinds of directions with thoughts and ideas. More so on a day like today. The first day in the year when I always find myself feeling reflective and contemplative about the year gone and the year ahead of me.

I see life as a never ending quest with twists and turns along the way. I don't let myself get too fixated on the end goal because I feel that with that approach there is always a danger that you will miss out on the joys and pleasures of the hear and now.

It is an approach not too dissimilar to how I fuck and how someone can best please me when giving my a blow job. I never ever think about how to make a woman cum and I never enjoy being given a blow job from someone that is obviously trying to make me come. Be intuitive yes, but just enjoy and savour the act for the pleasure of doing it and in time everything sorts itself out with much more rewarding results.

It is amazing how things can take unexpected turns. In my case two things have had a big impact on my life in relation to my journey as a Bull. The event that had the biggest impact is the unexpected emotional roller coater journey I had with a a single lady that I met just over a year ago. It blew my mind and I am still feeling the ripple effects. It was a very interesting learning experience. 

To this day I am still processing the impact it has had on me but one thing is for sure. I do now stand back every now and then to assess what is important to me and what makes me happy as an individual. In this context the ultimate questions are... will I forever be living the life of a Bull for cuckold couples. Will I settle down with a single lady or will I somehow combine the two? I don't yet know the answer to these questions. However the fact that I am now even contemplating multiple scenarios is interesting within itself as far as I am concerned.

The second thing that has had a big impact on me this year is my decision to embrace my bi side without any sense of shame, or discomfort. If you have read any of my previous blogs you will know that until I got into cuckolding and even with my many years of swinging behind me I was never conscious of a bi side that needed embracing. Previously if guys got too close to me in any kind of swinging situation. I would sometimes have to focus hard so as not to be put off and loose my erection. Fast forward to today and I almost feel like insisting that husbands give my cock a good suck or slip me into their wife before I fuck them lol. I jest but you get the point.

Once I realised that this was a part of my sexuality I had a decision to make. Do I do what most guys  with a closet bi side do. Deny it publicly but get up to all kinds in secret. Or do I embrace it? Now don't get me wrong i am not going to harshly judge anyone keeping this side to them a secret. Especially in the context of swinging. On swinging sites single males often outnumber couples and single ladies. So competitive as it is, for many guys it it not in their interest to say anything that might reduce their chances of meeting people to have fun with.

I too had to take that into account and as a black man it could be argued that among other black guys in the scene it could be frowned upon. So I had a decision to make, what would the fallout be, would friends and associate in the scene turn their backs on me and crucially would it result in less opportunities to meet sexy like minded ladies?

Casual scans of profiles on the swinging site I use the most FabSwingers.com reveal many profiles by couples that say "No bi men". On the flip side I often encounter profiles that say no straight men. The funny thing is, many couples profiles say that the guy is straight but they happily discuss the prospect of giving my cock a good suck when chatting to me.

Although it doesn't phase me if people describe me as bisexual. I don't regard it as an accurate description of myself. FetLife.com the fetish site I sometimes use allows for a more accurate description of how I see myself and that is Hetroflexible. However, if the day ever comes when I look into another man's eyes, get lost in them and feel an overwhelming urge to go on romantic walks with him you will be the first to know.

So back to the title of this blog. Do you have to be bi to be a good Bull? The answer to that question is no. Does it help? In my case and because I am particularly interested in cuckold couples, without a doubt having a flexible approach to my sexuality has worked very much in my favour. On balance I am convinced that it has opened more doors than it has closed. Am I having more fun as a result? 

Hell yes ;-)

How I seduced a virgin white couple at an interracial swingers party P/T 2

.....the three of us walked into what was a very small dimly lit room but there was more than enough room for the three of us. There was a little bit of small talk but none of us wanted to waste time so we all stripped while chatting.

Although I am a naturally dominant by nature I strongly believe in allowing couples to acclimatise to the situation particularly when meeting me for the first time. I know that for some people the fantasy of an all guns blazing first time cuckolding session might sound like fun. But in my opinion, more often than not the priority should be to get used to each other and establish a level of trust first. Besides, isn't it always better to have something to look forward to?

My instincts told me to take a little step back and give each other the space to feel comfortable and get in the mood. They got onto the bed and Steve promptly attended to Sally's pussy with his mouth. After a short while I climbed onto the bed too and began to caress her soft white skin. The dim lighting of the room added to the sense of intimacy and eroticism of the situation. She turned her head towards me and caressed my chest at which point we began to kiss. I think this got Steve very excited because he started to fuck her. A big no no in my book as I never let cuckolds fuck their lady in my presence without requesting my permission. However as stated previously I do sometimes make an allowance for new couples.

I took the opportunity to reposition myself and slip my cock into Sally's mouth. Fully aware that with Steve now fucking her he would be getting a close up view of his partner’s lips and tongue navigating the contours of my hard black cock. As he thrusted he looked on with fascination. I knew exactly what he hoped for at this point. So I told him that as a cuckold it was his duty to serve me and show respect by sucking my cock. They both looked at each other and asked the other if it was ok to take this bold step for the very first time.

Both were fine so Sally pointed my cock towards Steve’s face. He slipped his mouth around my hard shaft without even the slightest bit of hesitation.........fuck!!! Having guys suck my cock in front of their wife or girlfriend gives me an almightily rush. Even as I type this my cock is throbbing and I can feel pre-cum oozing into my boxers. Both their lips slid along my ebony meat and occasionally their lips met....damn horny.

Unfortunately for Steve it was again all a bit too much so he had to stop fucking Sally and back down. I told him it was now time for me to take over. Normally at this point I would have instructed the cuckold to grab a condom and put it on my cock. But on this occasion I was way too eager to fuck his beloved partner and didn't want to risk nervous inexperienced hands trying to put a condom on me. I did however pause to ensure that his hand gripped my cock and that he would be the one to guide me into his lady for the very first time. To me it is a very important symbolic moment and I wanted him to play a part in it.

As is often the case and especially when I fuck a woman for the first time I teased Sally for a while before giving her the full length of my cock. Just the tip at first. Pausing from time to time and ever so gradually giving her a bit more of me. Her pussy responded by naturally lubricating the pathway. I have flexible hips so when I finally gave her my full length in a single authoritative thrust she gasped with pleasure.

What a night, we fucked in various positions, at one point with Sally riding me. I often struggle with lying down to let a woman do that. In part because it is such a horny site, my instinct is to throw a woman back down onto the bed and fuck with maximum intensity. I  just can't lay still, so I find myself thrusting my hips upwards looking into the woman's eyes and telling her to fuck me. Probably not the most dominant thing to say but it seems to spur women on......oh what a sight, Sally rode my rigid cock with so much enthusiasm mmmmmm. From time to time she would slow down to give Steve a passionate kiss. Oh how I love that, meeting couples in a committed relationship is that little bit more pleasurable. It is certainly a key element of what I refer to as real cuckolding.

After a bit more pleasurable grinding Sally dismounted and lay down to be fucked once more by Steve. Again the naughtiness of the experience was a bit too much for him so he had to stop again after not that many thrusts. More for me ;-)

Again I took over and began to fuck Sally with relish. Between the two of them they talked excitedly about my spunk so I knew it would soon be time for me back up my king of cum claims. After a while I told Sally that I was ready to cum and that I was about to spurt my full creamy load. I pulled my cock out and quickly removed the condom......just in time. Oh the joy of fucking another mans dear lady in front of them. I erupted and blasted my creamy load all over Sally's stomach and tits. Roaring with pleasure at the delicious wickedness of it all.

As I moved off the bed Steve didn't even hesitate to reclaim his dearest Sally. He got right on top of her not the least bit concerned about the fact that my sticky deposit was all over her body. Another good indicator of Steve's openness to experiment with his inner cuckold perhaps?

They fucked briefly and then lay happily on the bed before asking me if I wouldn't mind giving them a moment to themselves before joining me outside. I explained that I fully understood and that I would chat with them again a little later.

I spent the rest of the night socialising and being a bit of a voyeur. After all there is always something interesting to see at BMFC. When I next saw Steve and Sally they were sat on a sofa by the dance floor. As we chatted they did whet they have now been doing almost daily since that night we met almost two weeks ago. They expressed there happiness in having met me, thanked me for putting them so much at ease and for making their night such a pleasurable one. I am really enjoying getting to know this couple and looking forward to guiding them down the path of darkness.....the pleasurable kind.

How I seduced a virgin white couple at an interracial swingers party P/T 1

Although busy swinging clubs are not personally my preferred way of meeting new couples I do love socialising in an environment with like minded people. When in that frame of mind BlackManFanClub commonly known as BMFC is one of my favourite events to attend.  It is run by a lady that I have known for years and although our paths don't cross as often as they did in the early years it is always a pleasure to see her.

BMFC events are held every weekend in a number of locations around the country. Being the first Saturday of the month I knew that it would be their busiest night and at a venue which is my personal favourite. It is a fairly large venue with several places to have fun. Including a cinema room, dark zones, private areas, a glory hole room and big open play areas so most tastes are catered to.

I arrived at 9.30 knowing that a couple of friend and familiar faces would be attending. For the first hour or so most of my attention was on them. Although naturally I would survey the horizon from time to time, admiring the women in their sexy outfits. As the night developed a nice looking couple sat in a corner caught my eye. I looked over a number of times and couldn't believe that none of the other guys appeared to have approached them.

I made up my mind sat beside the lady and introduced myself to them. We struck up a conversation and Sally and Steve revealed that they were brand new swingers hoping to have their very first adventure. It was their third visit to a BMFC event but up until now they had not felt brave enough or felt the right connection with anyone to make that leap from fantasy to reality. New couples are often unsure of swinging etiquette so I gave them some guidance, reassurances and the benefit of my experience in terms of how to interact with single males.

Once we had built up a nice rapport I asked them what had drawn them to swinging in the first place and what they were hoping to get out of it. They told me that they had been watching interracial cuckold porn together for several months and that it had began to feature in their fantasies quite often when they were having sex. At that point I got an instant hard on and a switch in my head changed from gentleman to wolf.

As it was a large U shaped sofa and they were sitting in a corner it had been easy for me to focus my attention on the two of them when conversing. I now sat closer with my knee pressed gently into Sally's thigh. She didn't flinch and the body language from both her and Steve was still positive.

I probed them further with more questions in order to establish if there interests leaned more toward cuckolding or hot-wifing. They were not aware of the differences between the two so I was more than happy to explain. Steve explained that in daily life he was in a position of authority and had a deep desire to be dominated. Sally on the other hand had no intention of being told what to do. This put them very firmly in the cuckold camp and the evil wolfish grin on my face left them in no doubt that I liked what I was hearing.

Typical of so many newbie couples their black man fantasy included a desire for Sally to be fucked by a black man with a really big cock. I promptly explained that as a Bull with an average size cock I would not be able to make that particular fantasy come true but that on the flip side I was a hard spurting heavy cum king. That I had a sturdy black cock that could be used like training wheels for good practice  That got us all laughing and relaxed them even further.

When I explained that I generally use swinging parties to network and don't usually fuck, they both looked at me like Puss in Boots in Shrek. so I found myself reassuring them that if an opportunity presented itself that night and they felt relaxed enough I would be more than happy to oblige......hey being patient is one thing but sometimes you just have to strike while the iron is still hot.

After a short while Sally got up to use the ladies. Steve used it as an opportunity to ask If I would join them in one of the private rooms. I said that I would be more than happy to but also assured him that if at any point they had second thoughts I would back off gracefully, even if we were all naked and my cock was merely an inch away from Sally's pussy. He found that reassuring. However I also gave him a warning by informing him that as a cuckold once we got into the room I would be expecting him to submit to my authority by sucking my cock. He advised me that he would love to but as they were new to this he wasn't quite sure how Sally would react. However, he said that if it was initiated by me she would be more likely to go with it.

On Sally's return Steve informed her about our conversation. She liked what she heard but asked if I wouldn't mind if she popped out for a quick smoke first. Probably nerves I thought. Once she returned we headed for a  narrow corridor where two lockable rooms were located. As we waited I took the opportunity to take a better look at Sally......fuck!!! I thought. All dressed in black, tight black jeans, black heels and a tight black top that pushed her tits out towards me. How I managed to  stay looking calm and collected I don't know.

At this point I think Steve's natural cuckold instincts began to kick in. He offered to get us all a drink from the bar while we waited for a room to become vacant. Cuckold or not if any couple hopes to increase the chances of having a successful encounter with a single male, in my opinion they should always find a way for the male to conveniently disappear for a while so that the lady and single male can get a little more comfortable with each others company. While Steve was away we chatted a little but it was only on his return that I touched her waist and told her how deliciously sexy she was looking. This led to them embracing in a kiss......perfect.

Finally we heard the sound of one of the rooms being unlocked. At which point I began to mentally rub my hands together with glee......

Fucking the wife of a jealous cuckold P/T 3 of 3

( the updated unedited version )

........once my cock was in Jake's hand I told him to put it in his mouth and suck. I made it very clear that I hate my cock being sucked too roughly and that his mouth should be well lubricated. Ok here goes thought me.......a man is about to suck my cock.....shit!!!. A virtually clean shaven male too. Being used to the site of a woman, more often that not with long flowing hair made this new image more than just a little strange. For Jake this was also a new experience. This was to be the fist time he sucked a cock, black or otherwise and he began to suck with relish.  Like a good cuck he kept his mouth well lubricated and moaned with pleasure as his mouth slid up and down my shaft. In my head I thought fuck that feels good but outwardly I stayed calm and told Jake he was a good boy and that I was pleased.

Good that it was, having my cock sucked by a cuckold is not why i was there. I told Jake that the time had come for me to fuck his wife and ordered him to fetch a condom. This he quickly did in a state of nervous excitement. I then told him to slip it on my cock and tease his loving wife with it.  This he also did obediently. 

But I wasn't going to fuck Jenny just yet. After all, her and her husband had kept me waiting for six months. So I made Jenny plead for me to fuck her. This she did and meant it. Bearing in mind how strong minded she is I knew this wouldn't be easy for her. Also since that occasion she has also made a point of asserting herself but at that very moment her desire to be fucked by me overwhelmed her. Finally I gave Jenny her wish.......hey lets face it I was hardly going to be reluctant ;-)

Jenny looked at me with pure naked desire as my cock penetrated her. With my eyes locked on to hers I slid the full length into her slowly and with a sense of purpose. Her pussy greeted me with wet enthusiasm. Oh how I love that sensation. Its a sensation I truly relish so I continued to fuck her slowly and deeply savoring the wetness and contours of her pussy on the full length of my cock. Pulling out to the tip then thrusting in again. All the way to the base with my body pressed hard against hers mmmmmm. All the while Jake was filming to capture the moment.

Every now and then I would lift my body so that all three of us could look and admire the contrast as my black cock penetrated Jenny's pale skin. I told Jake to take a good look at the hard thrusting black cock penetrating his loving wife. Oh fuck does that turn me on. Jake had been ordered by me to wear his wife's knickers for the evening and that he was not allowed to masturbate without explicit permission. As the evening went on I had to reprimand him on more than one occasion. 

Now my stance with couples new to cuckolding is not to be as strict as I can be, as a certain amount of adjustment does need to take place. However because of Jake's continuous disregard for my authority I made a point of punishing him the second time we met. Perhaps I will talk about that another time.

Anyway the evening went on with more sensual penetration. Jake sucking my cock during breaks and of course hard fucking. After all you can't call yourself a Bull if you don't also have the ability to pussy pound with evil intent. After a particularly intense period of hard fucking I pulled my cock out took off my condom and  spurted a jet of my warm seed over Jenny's body and face. 

The sight of my spunk spurting so hard and so far was too much for Jake and he completely lost control. So he pulled his cock out and spunked over his wife too. He then lent over to scoop up and swallow every bit of man cream that was splashed over Jenny's body........what could I do but burst out laughing. It was such a funny site. However orders had been disobeyed and boy did I punish him on our next meeting.

Jake later told me that he was consumed by jealousy the whole time. Although he had watched his wife fuck other men he had never seen her react so responsively and cum so readily. He said that watching her kiss me so passionately made him particularly jealous. He also told me that they would both regularly watch the footage he had filmed on a regular basis. A job well done me thinks ;-)

Swinging, cuckolding and the dreaded L word Part 2 of 3

The problem with people is that they are not robots.  Now this may seem like an obvious and bland statement but in the world of swinging and cuckolding it is both important and relevant. It is one thing to fantasise about consequence free sexual adventure but in fantasy that spanner in the works called emotion can often be underestimated when finally turning that fantasy into reality.

Until I see something to the contrary my experience tells me that there is no such thing as no strings attached sex. Emotions will always play a part even if at a very low level. It may be from you, the person you are having sex with or your partner. The key is to acknowledge it and deal with those emotions in a way that works best for you as an individual or as part of a couple. One coping strategy that used to irritate the hell out of me is the no kissing rule. I would still never knowingly meet a couple if not allowed to kiss the wife. But I do now have a more sympathetic understanding of the reasoning behind that stance.

Similarly I have to try not to be offended when invited to Gang Bangs by couples. Sure as a young buck I would have jumped at the opportunity but now as a more experienced mature Dom Bull I have to fight the compulsion not to be offended. I see myself as a lone wolf. Certainly not part of the pack. Actually let me be honest with you. Being invited to gang bangs does still offend me but I can understand how for some couples it creates a clearer distinction between their own love making and and fun they might have with others to enhance or compliment the sexual aspects of their relationship. So when asked I count to ten and fight down the urge to say "I'm a man not a f#*@ing prop you f##*ing ........." 1,2, 3..........easy boy lol....and yet the is always an exception to the rule. Late last year I went to a small swingers party in a warehouse close to Gatwick airport. Not a very busy event and there were only a handful of couple ladies and single guys but it worked.

Everyone was chilled out relaxed, friendly and conversational. At one point I went upstairs for a bit of a perv. A dominant husband was kissing and fingering his submissive wife. He momentarily paused to announce that anyone could join in and that the basic rule was that only one other person could touch her at any one time. Normally I would have switched off completely because nothing puts my back up more than being told what to do by a pushy, over eager or arrogant husband. But this couple had a friendly playful air about them. Also like me although a Dom her husband asserted his authority without the need to arrogantly puff out his chest. In the room there were probably about seven of us single guys in total.

Being me I kept back and observed the events unfolding. One by one and without that seedy air of desperation sometimes displayed by single guys. someone would go forward and present his cock to be sucked. Everyone stuck by the rules and when one was being sucked noone else tried to ruin the moment by crowding or going in for a cheap grope. The sub wife had a way about her that was infectious. Friendly enthusiastic and above all not cold and functional but genuinely engaging. At this point I just couldn't resist.

By the end of the night she had been thoroughly fucked by myself and two other black gents. I really wish I had taken down their numbers. Were I to ever to get into gangbangs again these are the kind of guys I wouldn't mind partnering with. Like me the other two had professional backgrounds and crucially neither  of the other two were selfishly competitive. Things flowed naturally and neither of us tried to keep the sexy lady to ourselves.....hmmm I must check that place out again ;-) Anyway....

In my many years of experience I have seen it time and time again. Emotions will always play a role, even the most outwardly hardened of swingers have a chink in their armour. It's just a case of knowing where to look and recognising it.

Although the above is not directly related to the topic in hand I think there is a connection. Since becoming part of a couple and although we are both free to do our own thing I have noticed a distinct and noticeable change in tone from the couples I relate to. The most noticeable being a wife who just couldn't get her head around the fact that my partner was happy for me continue seeing them. So much so that she concluded that we should stop seeing each other. Had I continued to see them but behind my partners back I suspect she would have been a lot happier.

Another interesting reaction came from the sexy Indian wife mentioned in previous blogs. Up until meeting my partner she would invite me to her home about once a month. However although we still chat it has now been over for months since she last invited me. One very interesting phrase she has come up with more that once when talking generally in a swinging chat room we frequent was the fact that she likes the the idea of a guy clamouring for her attention.  Perhaps me not being so readily available for impulsive meets shatters that illusion and ruins the dynamic for her.

Two emotional responses to my change in circumstances that arguably from a logical point of view make no sense at all. My theories about the reasons for these responses may or may not be right but what's not in doubt is the fact that emotions played their part.

So bearing in mind the fact my desire to meet couples isn't going anywhere how has that changed my approach? I will expand on that in p/t 3

Swinging, cuckolding and the dreaded L word Part 1 of 3

Anyone that knows me well will be shocked to discover that of late I have been spending my time not with someones wife but with a single woman. This was never a part of the plan. Not only for me but for her too.

The original idea from both our perspectives was to merely keep each other company on route to swinging events as we lived so close to each other. That plus the fact we share nerdy interest interests outside of the scene made for fun conversations that always made the time fly past.

Due to my personal circumstances, for the past two years I made a conscious effort to stay away from single women. Why? Partly due to past experiences. Simply put I didn't want to risk the emotional complications that can occur when you get on really well with a fuck buddy or friend with benefits. I hate the idea of hurting people even if unintentional.

Also, from a swinging perspective it was because I didn’t want to get close to anyone who wouldn’t understand my passionate interest in the cuckold lifestyle as a Bull. However this fiercely independent woman that I am now with has fundamentally altered my perspective. As a disciplined Bull I have always prided myself on my ability to master my emotions. MASTER being the key word. I have long felt that suppressing or denying ones emotions is an exercise in self deception and self harm. However I also strongly believe we have a choice in terms of how much we feed and water those same emotions.

As I have said before one of the things that attracted me to cuckolding couples as opposed to normal swinging is the potential for a deeper level of intimacy. However I have always been mindful never to feed and water the emotions involved to a level that would cause harm or hurt anyone involved.

Having said all that I’m not a robot so although not in a rush I was always hopeful of one day finding a couple that was of a mindset similar to mine and secure enough in their relationship to be open to the possibly that the lust and friendship may indeed turn to some form of love at some point and evolve into a poly type relationship.

But, as indicated in my last blog in reality I saw nothing to indicate that a scenario like that was even on the horizon. So imagine my surprise when almost by accident I find myself getting to know a single woman who not just accepts my passion for cuckolding couples but actually gets turned on by it. So much so that given the right circumstances she would jump at the chance to watch or join me when I’m having fun with a cuckold couple. With her being fully Bi, completely filthy and naturally dominant with women by nature the possibilities are endless.

I have no doubt that her fiercely untameable independent nature made me feel free and safe enough to feed and water my feelings for her and let them flourish into the depth of feeling that I have for her now. Likewise my acceptance of her nature and her knowledge that I have no desire to control her have had the same effect on her too.

That said. Since starting this relationship the reactions I have had from couples I already know has been rather interesting. Perhaps even negative and that surprised me at first. I have one or two half thought out theories which I will begin to explore further in part two....