Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 2 of 3

...so does size matter?

...no

...YES!!

A tenuous link to the ending of Kingdom of Heaven ( great movie by the way ) but I hope you get my weird mental leap.

Anyway of course size bloody matters and when you add the interracial element to the mix it gets yet more fucked up and complex.....if you let it.

"You can't be a Bull you're too young, too old, too short, too fat, not black, too nice, too thuggish, cock isn't big enough etc etc"

errr says who?

I'm not saying this to be politically correct but seriously. According to who's rulebook? Now as far as I'm concerned one of the key aspects of swinging is the freedom to express oneself sexually and not allowing oneself to be limited by the views and opinions of others. 

Naturally I will add the caveat as long as it is mutually consensual, no harm is done and no minors are involved.

I'm one of those people who is fascinated by people. Its no coincidence that I purposely shaped my career in a way that allows me to interact with people on a daily basis. I'm a people watcher and forever inquisitive about what makes a person tick. That curiosity has also strongly influenced my approach to swinging and BDSM too.

If one is in anyway empathic or emotionally intelligent when you scratch beneath the surface you come to the realisation that to some extent everyone is fucked up and everyone has confidence issues. It doesn't matter what they present to the world or how they look its there. Wealth, good looks, awesome tits, a hot body a hefty meaty cock none of it protests you from self doubt.

So to me what ultimately matters is how one deals with the moments of self doubt when they happen and if one is really going to allows ones sexually journey to be dictated by others. I will start with  two negative incidents that come to mind. Both happened at swinging clubs. On the first occasion I was on a large bed with three of four other couples having sex with a woman who eventually became my girlfriend. On the second occasion I was with another woman who was my girlfriend at the time. On this occasion it was a more private room at a swinging club but it had a viewing window so voyeurs could take a peek. On both occasions I overhead a woman say to the person next to her "its not THAT big". Each time I was unable to see who made the comment and each time I blocked what they said from my mind until I'd had my fun with my lady.

Once I allowed what was said to filter back to my conscious mind I felt both anger and if honest a bit of a confidence beating. Luckily for me I was already experienced as a swinger, able to untangle it and not let it leave me permanently knocked down. I wish I had caught who said it though. Good manners and respectable behaviour have always been important to me so when I see the opposite it puts by back up. Its shocking how insensitive people can sometimes be. Some of my female friends have told me about similar experiences in which they have overhead men casually making negative comments about their bodies when at a swinging club. Its such a nasty thoughtless thing to do...and I do mean thoughtless because I think the person saying it often doesn't pause to think about the impact of their words.

That was the negative......on the flip side there have also been a couple of occasions when I have been fucking someone's wife/girlfriend and I had to give the lady time to get used to my cock because I was a bit too big. As an average dicked guy ABC lol that came as something as a surprise the first time but boy did it stroke my ego. 

It also gave me a sense of what it must be like to be the proud owner of a genuinely hefty dick. If I had a porn sized cock I would have to be a more considerate to ensure that I don't do any damage with some women. But with an average cock should the woman I'm with enjoy a hard pounding fuck I don't usually have to ever so carefully pace myself.

I'm free to thrust hard and deep to my hearts content. Its often overlooked but there are as many variables in the shape and size of a woman's pussy as the are in the shape and size as a man's dick.

I will never forget the time I was at a swinging spa and got chatting with another black guy. This was well over ten years ago back when I thought I was straight lol. Anyway on the surface he couldn't have been a more perfect example of many a woman's perfect physical specimen of "the fantasy black guy". He was well over six foot good looking muscular but not too muscular for most women's tastes and judging by the shape of the towel wrapped around his waist he was blessed too.

We got chatting and before long it turned into quite a deep conversation...I sometimes have that effect on people. Long story short the poor guy was riddled with self doubt and insecurities precisely because he was such a catch superficially. He was a really nice guy and also spoke about how he is forever having to deal with insecure short guys like me who feel a need to challenge him in social situations. I felt so much empathy for the guy. Although it's the one that comes to mind I have had countless encounters with men and women in the scene and when you scratch beneath the surface without fail there is always something that crystallises that fact that we are all united by our insecurities. Once I realised that I learnt not to give a fuck about what people think if it is in any way negative to my sense of self worth.

Now don't get me wrong I'm human so I will always have my moments of weakness but they don't consume me.

So back to the myth of the BBC. There will always be size queens and there will always be husbands and boyfriends whose priority will be to witness a fat juicy black dick penetrating the love of his life. Hey I get it when with ex partners I liked it too after all I'm a massive voyeur. But for some couples it is just one of the many qualities that a couple looks for in their quest to find the perfect Bull. 

Over the years I have lost count of the number of couples, particularly cuckold couples that speak to me lamenting the fact that they just can't find a Bull that "just gets it". Yes they find it relatively easy to find someone to give the lady a decent fuck but on a cerebral level the quest to find a Bull who understand the psychology of cuckolding is more often than not a fruitless one.

I can think of a number of occasions in which there wasn't much difference in size between my cock and the cuckold and one particular cuckold whose cock was clearly bigger than mine. He is the jealous cuckold from one of my older blogs. For him part of the mind fuck was the fact that his wife was so much more sexually animated when with me in spite of his size advantage.

Interestingly I remember a conversation that I had with one of my most regular couples. When I first met them. They weren't cuckold but the husband was bi. Hi also had a massive cock. So big that when they went swinging his wife would ban him from fucking her until she had played with other guys. They said that on several occasions when they met black guy the black guy was not able to perform because the size of his dick intimidated them. I found that fact fascinating......oh and months later at a combined cuckold and bi party that I hosted. After everyone had gone home this couple stayed the night with me. Want to know what happened? ;-)