The cuckold emissary vs the FLR cuckoldress PART ONE

Its funny, years back when I first started blogging although I enjoyed sharing my thought process the main theme of my blogs was to titillate by describing in detail what I got up to with the couples that I was meeting at the time. These days I'm a little more reflective but I still like to throw in a few juicy bits. Another reason why my blogs are currently more reflective is the blue balls inducing fact that I don't have a regular cuckold couple that I am able to see on a regular basis. There was me ever so patiently building potential foundations with a handful of couples and then....BAM!!!

 Covin-19 *#%!!#!!# grrrrrr. damn, am I going to have to start all over again whenever when is??

Oh well I'm just going to have to find a way to make the most of a not very nice at all situation. Maybe its an age thing but the older I get the more I find myself less interested in one off swinging meets with couples and more interested in arrangements with couples that are semi-regular in nature. Its not exactly a new thought process for me and I have no doubt that it has a lot to do with why I am so powerfully drawn to cuckold couples in particular. 

Now don't get me wrong I love having fun with hotwife and bi couples (especially because I'm now a cock sucker too) but with cuckold couples there is a delicately nuanced distinction that generally speaking isn't there with other dynamics. Of course this is is an over simplification that doesn't take into account the oh so many shades of grey and yes there are always exceptions to this rule but please accept my polite request to bear with me.

A cuckold is much more likely to flirt with the ultimate danger the Icarus's of the swinging world perhaps. Although the term Bull is used a passionate cuckold is actually flirting with the concept of a Bull in all but name being his wife's lover. If swinging is a danger sport then the cuckold lifestyle in its purest form must be the most high octane adrenaline inducing no safety net danger sport there is.

As a swinger with experience of shared adventures with past girlfriends I'm able to tap into and understand those desires. As a Bull forever addicted to the cerebral intoxication I get when I take another mans wife I get it on that level too. Its deep and its primal. As a compassionate empathetic human being I also understand my responsibilities. And that’s why I enjoy getting to know...

THE CUCKOLD EMISSARY

Although there are always exceptions more often that not my first contact with a cuckold couple from sites like Hotwifing and FabSwingers is via the husband/boyfriend. Its usually him that had the fantasy first and even when that’s not the case he is the one most likely to fixate on and dedicate time towards turning the fantasy into a reality. More often that not the wife has "better things to do with her time" especially in the early stages.

By the way this is one of the aspects of the lifestyle that I really enjoy. sometimes it feels like a game of chess that can span weeks, months and yes even years. However unlike in chess, everyone wins.

I do have a caveat though having to weed out time wasting fantasists is the part I loath. Experience is forever finetuning my bullshit detector so although I'm getting better I loath fantasists who have no intention of ever revealing their fantasy to their wives. Its a total waste of my time, time that could have been better spent getting to know a genuine cuckold. I don't have a problem with fantasist who are up front about just being a fantasist though I just wish more of them would be more honest both to me and themselves. 

In my opinion if you're an experienced Bull you need to be aware of the fact that you are both the interviewer and interviewee that you are both the hunter and the hunted. The cuckold is sizing you up. He wants to know if you are the real deal. Are you a Bull or are you just another guy looking for an angle to get an easy fuck with his Mrs. If things develop and you end up spending time alone with his wife are you the kind of man who will want to have is wife or HAVE his wife. When alone with her are you going to indulge in fun filth and escapism with her or are you going to plot and try to plant seeds with the selfish goal of sabotaging their relationship? If the three of you are to have shared experiences how happy are you to with involving the cuckold. Will you ignore the cuckold, tolerate him or relish his involvement?

Speaking as someone who has previously been part of a couple who swings they were certainly some of the questions that would pass through my mind.

So what about now what matters to me from the Bulls perspective? I will want to know how experienced they are with the cuckold dynamic. Are they virgins, are transitioning from a swinging dynamic. Are they cuckold lifestylers or do they prefer to dip in and out for a bit of fun now and then. Does the cuckold have his wife’s blessing and if he does are their desires aligned enough to not be a source of friction. Is the cuck submissive to his core or an Alpha cuck. Are they looking for exclusivity a main Bull a handful of, or many Bulls? All these questions and more need to be delved into.

As a Bull I am fully aware of my need to be flexible. But I too have needs and have to be mindful to not compromise on a few core areas that are important to me and my desires.

.....PHEW!!! That sounds like a lot of hard work you might say....well it is. To my mind if you are more closely aligned to the cuckold dynamic as opposed to for example the Hotwife, Stag/Vixen dynamic you're not going to be fucking as many women. It can be oh so frustrating and the successes can sometimes be few and far between. Its for that reason that I shook things up a bit some years back. After all Bulls have a rather high sex drive and blue balls are blue balls lol

So you may ask..."is there a plus side to spending all that time chatting with a cuckold?"

Fuck yes!!

If the couple are close, highly communicative and emotionally in tune with each other the cuckold knows his woman. He knows what she likes and if he likes you he will do everything in his power to ensure that when you do finally communicate with or meet his wife in person just about every obstacle to you having her has been demolished.....that's if you have been paying attention and asking the right questions.

Speaking personally that’s not the only reason I like to get to know the cuckold. I'm actually a pretty sociable person and enjoy spending time with people who have a shared interest and what can be more engrossing than two men that two men with a shared passion for the cuck lifestyle and the same woman. Its genuinely an honour when a cuckold proudly shows off about his wife to me, trusts me enough to open up be vulnerable and let me "have" the love of his life. That’s the happy hedonistic side of me speaking.

The dark deviant perv in me remembers all I know about the cuckold when I'm spending time with his wife not so much when I have her to myself but when the cuck is in the room my knowledge of him as a person adds to my pleasure. I know how he feels when I'm kissing his wife. I know what’s going through his mind when he guides my cock into his loved ones pussy....and if he is a jealous cuckold with any overt or closet bi tendencies my dark twisted side relishes the mental roller coaster ride of the cuckold.

One of the things I relish most when a jealous bi cuckold is in the room is not just his jealous arousal of me when I kiss and fuck his wife but his envy of his wife because I'm fucking her and not him. That all he gets to do is suck my cock but his deeper desire to be fucked my me goes unfulfilled....oh yes my dark evil side relishes his turmoil.

BUT!!

Everything I just said is meaningless if one key element isn't in place its the woman who has the final say. Bond all you like with the cuckold emissary if his partner isn't on board two? Well it ain't gonna happen is it lol

That's what makes it extra interesting on the rarer occasions when its actually the wife or girlfriend who reaches out to me first. I'll talk about that in PART TWO

Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 3 of 3

As hinted at one of the couples at the party I organised had asked if it would be ok to stay the night. It was a suggestion that I was more than happy with because during the party itself I was in host mode and not the least bit horny. I just wanted to be sure that everyone invited had a good time. 

I had invited a black Domme friend to help host, four other bi leaning black Bulls and four couples. I already knew all of the four couples who accepted my party invitation and of the four I already knew three of the women.....biblically ;-). Although I didn't know the Bulls as well as the couples I had been in conversation with them for quite a while and was confident that they were the kind of black men who would represent themselves favourably. 

Hosting a successful party and ensuring that everyone had a good time was my priority that night and because I knew two of the couples particularly well I knew that even if I didn't get to fuck that night I would soon after.

I need not have worried.

I kicked everyone out at around 3am so now it was just me and the bi couple. Oh by the way two of the couples had bi males and the other two were cuckold males. That's why I had carefully vetted the invited Bulls to ensure that they were at least bi curious.

Anyway we settled into one of the beds together chatted about how sussesful the party had been and then I started to kiss Rose. I always love kissing her she's so good with her mouth so I'm quite addicted. Her husband Jim loves stroking my cock. So he wet his hand and a bit and got to work caressing my shaft and gently wanking me off mmmmmmm.

Because of the trust and openness between us whenever we've met we've know when I need to use a condom and when not to. This was to be one of those rare times when no condom was required. Jim loves teasing Rose's pussy with my cock and I quite like it too ;-) I get so worked up I start leaking precum. You don't see the droplets for long though because I'm now slowly dipping my helmet in her oh so wet sounding pussy.

By this point we're all making pleasurable moaning noises. I'm loving the fact that both of them are closely observing my cock and we are all relishing the asthetics of our contrasting skin colour. It feels so good being inside Rose while Jim gently caresses my balls. After a while the teasing is too much for Jim so he puts his hand on my arse and gently pushes me all the way into his wife mmmmmmm.

He then went to the other end of the bed and sliped his cock im his wife's mouth. As mentioned before Jim's cock is both long and thick and has the effect of intimidating some of the black guys that they have met. Not me though. I thought his cock looked amazing in his wife's mouth. So much so that I felt compelled to suck it. I wrestled with the idea for a few minites. But in the end I thought "fuck why not"

So now not only was I fucking Rose bareback but I was also kissing her and sucking and licking her husbands cock with her too. Man what a sweet mind fuck that was for me mmmmm.

Now because Of Jim's size Rose always has to be brace her self and feel ready before she lets him inside her. So when they go to swinging events she doesn't let him fuck her until she feels that she has had her share of fun. That point came and Rose asked me to cum inside her. By this point I no longer had Jim's cock in my mouth. He was somewhere to the side of us and it was just Rose and me passionately kissing and fucking. Fuck she's good...talking to me with that soft sexy voice until I  erupted inside her. When I pulled out Jim wasted no time and excitedly slipped his cock in his sexy wife. The voyeur in me drank it all in. Both were obviously feeling horny as fuck and Jim was particularly turned on by the fact that my creamy load was sloshing around his cock and providing more than  ample lubrication as he fucked his wife. He finally gasped with pleasure shot his load and eventually flopped to the side of the bed too.

Jim kept going on about how good it felt to fuck Rose with my cum inside her. Fuck I though...I know were safe today so why not make the most of it I thought. Long story short we both took turns having sloppy secounds. Its a while ago now so I don't remember if either of us came in Rose again that night. But her pussy was so full of cum lubrication it wouldn't have made a difference. 

I will never forget that night. Its memorable because of the shear lustful filth between us and from my perspective because it was the night I because a card carrying cock sucker.

So back to the original question in this blog. Does size matter? 

Yes....

and no

Its vaugue I know but also true. Its better to ask yourself that question. Does size matter to you? If the answer is yes yes and YES then you know what to look for. 

But if it is just one of a number of factors that lead to a whole greater than the sum of its parts then you too should know what to look for.

What's my take on it? Well I have a pragmatic, hedonistic swingers mindset. So if I'm free to salivate over tall, short gym fit, curvy, PAWG etc etc etc women why shouldn't women be entitled to the same? Some women want to be stuffed full all of the time. Some want it now and then or as an occasional treat and some run a mile from the porn sized cock. 

If I'm with a woman its because I like her and that most important ingrdient is in place...chemistry. 

In that moment she is all I want, desire or need. So on the flip side I expect the same from her. I don't care if she wants a man with a bigger cock next week as long as when with me she is 100% in the moment. Its me and my cock that matters most to her.

Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 2 of 3

...so does size matter?

...no

...YES!!

A tenuous link to the ending of Kingdom of Heaven ( great movie by the way ) but I hope you get my weird mental leap.

Anyway of course size bloody matters and when you add the interracial element to the mix it gets yet more fucked up and complex.....if you let it.

"You can't be a Bull you're too young, too old, too short, too fat, not black, too nice, too thuggish, cock isn't big enough etc etc"

errr says who?

I'm not saying this to be politically correct but seriously. According to who's rulebook? Now as far as I'm concerned one of the key aspects of swinging is the freedom to express oneself sexually and not allowing oneself to be limited by the views and opinions of others. 

Naturally I will add the caveat as long as it is mutually consensual, no harm is done and no minors are involved.

I'm one of those people who is fascinated by people. Its no coincidence that I purposely shaped my career in a way that allows me to interact with people on a daily basis. I'm a people watcher and forever inquisitive about what makes a person tick. That curiosity has also strongly influenced my approach to swinging and BDSM too.

If one is in anyway empathic or emotionally intelligent when you scratch beneath the surface you come to the realisation that to some extent everyone is fucked up and everyone has confidence issues. It doesn't matter what they present to the world or how they look its there. Wealth, good looks, awesome tits, a hot body a hefty meaty cock none of it protests you from self doubt.

So to me what ultimately matters is how one deals with the moments of self doubt when they happen and if one is really going to allows ones sexually journey to be dictated by others. I will start with  two negative incidents that come to mind. Both happened at swinging clubs. On the first occasion I was on a large bed with three of four other couples having sex with a woman who eventually became my girlfriend. On the second occasion I was with another woman who was my girlfriend at the time. On this occasion it was a more private room at a swinging club but it had a viewing window so voyeurs could take a peek. On both occasions I overhead a woman say to the person next to her "its not THAT big". Each time I was unable to see who made the comment and each time I blocked what they said from my mind until I'd had my fun with my lady.

Once I allowed what was said to filter back to my conscious mind I felt both anger and if honest a bit of a confidence beating. Luckily for me I was already experienced as a swinger, able to untangle it and not let it leave me permanently knocked down. I wish I had caught who said it though. Good manners and respectable behaviour have always been important to me so when I see the opposite it puts by back up. Its shocking how insensitive people can sometimes be. Some of my female friends have told me about similar experiences in which they have overhead men casually making negative comments about their bodies when at a swinging club. Its such a nasty thoughtless thing to do...and I do mean thoughtless because I think the person saying it often doesn't pause to think about the impact of their words.

That was the negative......on the flip side there have also been a couple of occasions when I have been fucking someone's wife/girlfriend and I had to give the lady time to get used to my cock because I was a bit too big. As an average dicked guy ABC lol that came as something as a surprise the first time but boy did it stroke my ego. 

It also gave me a sense of what it must be like to be the proud owner of a genuinely hefty dick. If I had a porn sized cock I would have to be a more considerate to ensure that I don't do any damage with some women. But with an average cock should the woman I'm with enjoy a hard pounding fuck I don't usually have to ever so carefully pace myself.

I'm free to thrust hard and deep to my hearts content. Its often overlooked but there are as many variables in the shape and size of a woman's pussy as the are in the shape and size as a man's dick.

I will never forget the time I was at a swinging spa and got chatting with another black guy. This was well over ten years ago back when I thought I was straight lol. Anyway on the surface he couldn't have been a more perfect example of many a woman's perfect physical specimen of "the fantasy black guy". He was well over six foot good looking muscular but not too muscular for most women's tastes and judging by the shape of the towel wrapped around his waist he was blessed too.

We got chatting and before long it turned into quite a deep conversation...I sometimes have that effect on people. Long story short the poor guy was riddled with self doubt and insecurities precisely because he was such a catch superficially. He was a really nice guy and also spoke about how he is forever having to deal with insecure short guys like me who feel a need to challenge him in social situations. I felt so much empathy for the guy. Although it's the one that comes to mind I have had countless encounters with men and women in the scene and when you scratch beneath the surface without fail there is always something that crystallises that fact that we are all united by our insecurities. Once I realised that I learnt not to give a fuck about what people think if it is in any way negative to my sense of self worth.

Now don't get me wrong I'm human so I will always have my moments of weakness but they don't consume me.

So back to the myth of the BBC. There will always be size queens and there will always be husbands and boyfriends whose priority will be to witness a fat juicy black dick penetrating the love of his life. Hey I get it when with ex partners I liked it too after all I'm a massive voyeur. But for some couples it is just one of the many qualities that a couple looks for in their quest to find the perfect Bull. 

Over the years I have lost count of the number of couples, particularly cuckold couples that speak to me lamenting the fact that they just can't find a Bull that "just gets it". Yes they find it relatively easy to find someone to give the lady a decent fuck but on a cerebral level the quest to find a Bull who understand the psychology of cuckolding is more often than not a fruitless one.

I can think of a number of occasions in which there wasn't much difference in size between my cock and the cuckold and one particular cuckold whose cock was clearly bigger than mine. He is the jealous cuckold from one of my older blogs. For him part of the mind fuck was the fact that his wife was so much more sexually animated when with me in spite of his size advantage.

Interestingly I remember a conversation that I had with one of my most regular couples. When I first met them. They weren't cuckold but the husband was bi. Hi also had a massive cock. So big that when they went swinging his wife would ban him from fucking her until she had played with other guys. They said that on several occasions when they met black guy the black guy was not able to perform because the size of his dick intimidated them. I found that fact fascinating......oh and months later at a combined cuckold and bi party that I hosted. After everyone had gone home this couple stayed the night with me. Want to know what happened? ;-)

Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 1 of 3

The older I get the more I try to distance myself from labels because they can sometimes be so inadequate, one dimensional and limiting. That said sometimes for the sake of clarity one is forced to either use or acknowledge them. One of the most prevalent topics of discussion that comes up again and again in the Fabswinger forums that I sometimes chat on or observe is cock size. Especially the size of black dicks.

The term BBC used to rub me up the wrong way and no that’s not just because by Bull standards my cock barely makes it into the big cock category. That’s right  I’m a black man with an “average” cock.

What?????  Yep some of you may be hearing this for the very first time. Are you sitting down? Some black men have.........average cocks.......now brace yourself there's more......some black men have small cocks.

At this point some of you may be thinking how could I possibly cuckold someone if I "only" have and average size dick. The simple flipant answer to that question would be. I don't know I just do. I've been swinging for a very long time and for many a year when chatting online the very first question people would ask me, often as a conversation opener was "how big is your BBC?" 

Over time my response transitioned from an answer, to a mental roling of my eyes, to a groan to a....well you get the picture. I basically got sick and tired being addressed so rudely. Sure ask me about my cock and what I look like but as a start of a conversation I consider it the height of disrespect.

So what did I do? I decided to nip it in the bud. The swinging profile I have on sites like Black to White and Hotwifing make it clear what size cock I have. Just as I am openly bicurious, I openly state the size of my cock too. My basic attitude is "lifes too short this is me take me as I am or don't". What effect did it have? Well a good one. The constant trickle of stupid questions asked by idiots came to a stop. Not completely but dramatically enough for it to no longer be a pain in the arse. 

Almost magically the caliber of conversation from the people approaching me improved. Conversations flowed naturally and questions asked were so much more mature in nature. Now don't get me wrong. If a woman or couple has a thing for black guys with premium sized big cocks I'm not going to hold that against them we all have a right to like what we like. After all I myself am bicurious and when I meet a bi couple as opposed to a cuckold couple its nice if the guy has a yummily weigthy cock that I can stroke or suck.

Anyway back to the main topic. As a single male in persuit of hotwives...especially hotwives that may potentially have a cuckold husband isn't the most basic of requirements to be the proud owner of a magnificently proportioned dick?

Basically

Does size matter?

The answer, MY answer is in part two of this blog.....

Once a Bull always a Bull?

So here I am beginning yet another chapter in my love life and sexual adventures. In the previous chapter I was in a deeply loving relationship with a most wonderful woman. Highly intelligent, sexy a joy to be with and a true friend. In fact we still are friends but the dynamic of us living together in a committed loving relationship ran its course. As a non-monogamous relationship, it meant we both got to indulge in some rather naughty adventures together.

As I reflect on it I’m so relieved by the fact that sexual jealousy resulting from our lifestyle was not the reason that the relationship came to an end. That for me is a source of reassurance, reassurance in that I feel yet more confident that when with the right woman it is indeed possible for me to be in a loving relationship and still have the ability to express my sexuality with persons other than my loving partner whoever that might be in the months and years to come.

However although the relationship was non-monogamous in nature compromises were made on both sides so as to ensure that feelings were not hurt. Some adaptions were easy, others over time and in retrospect were somewhat more challenging. At the time I was ok with it but there is one particular compromise that I’m not sure I will be able to make again. I may find myself eating my words at some point but right now I doubt it.

So what was that compromise? Well it was the ability to meet couples by myself. Foursomes are great fun but with the way my mind works there is something particularly and ever so wickedly pleasurable about planning to meet a couple as a single male.

I am forever drawn in by the lure of other men’s wives and girlfriends. This box was opened years ago and trying to close it again would just be an exercise in futility. Oh and just in case this is the first blog of mine that you are reading. Please be aware that I’m not one of those guys that gets a kick out of stealing people girlfriends or sleeping with married women as a danger sport. Clandestine fucks just isn’t my thing, I can most certainly understand the thrill, its just not my thrill.

The thrill for me is very particular to the fact that one way or another everyone is involved and getting something out of it. Its a three-way mind fuck that for me is intoxicatingly delicious….and addictive. I love witnessing the liberating effect on a woman when she is free to express her sexuality without judgement from the man that matters most to her in her life. As a Bull I get to be with a woman when she is at the peak of  feeling free, sexy and desired….and as a man who has been in open relationships I have a keen sense of what it feels like to be the man witnessing his loved one being fucked by another man.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m no angel so if a hot cheating wife or girlfriend were to relentlessly pursue me, theoretically wouldn’t say no but the thrill of biting into juicy forbidden fruit just wouldn’t be there…....wow as I type this and think back over the experiences that I have had with women I can’t think of a single time that I have knowingly fucked a married woman without her husband being fully aware of the fact……hmmmm interesting. 

So what’s next. Here’s me single again and pondering what path to follow, what’s my highest priority at this point. Build another special relationship with someone, try to quench my insatiable thirst for another man’s wife/girlfriend or somehow get the best of both worlds?

The latter sounds like the best fit for me right now and that’s exactly what I have been doing. Besides chatting with potential couples on FabSwingers I have also joined a rather interesting new site called Hotwifing that focuses primarily on pairing hotwife couples with single males/Bulls like me. It has a lot of potential so I am going to be keeping a close eye on it as it grows.

Perhaps in my next blog I will talk in detail about the two sexy wives that I met at an interracial swinging event a few weeks ago. Both encounters were deliciously naughty and in two very different ways. 

With one the sexual chemistry between us was so unbearably intense it was almost like self-inflicted torture. Up until that night all of my communications had been with her husband online. However all of my communications with him had been fairly abstract and I only had a vague idea of what his wife was like.

When we finally got to meet that night as soon as our eyes met there was instant chemistry which for me is quite unusual. The three of us were chatting and I just knew I had to kiss her. So I did, I’m not even sure if I asked for permission on this occasion the chemistry was that potent. There are two things that I do remember quite clearly though. I whispered two very romantic things in her ear while caressing her neck. I remember telling her that I would fuck her that night….and I also remember telling her to fuck any black guys that takes her fancy and to come to my hotel room with her husband before the night is out. I will tell you all about what happened in one of my future blogs.