THIS IS NOT SO MUCH A BLOG BUT MORE THE OTHER END OF A LINK THAT I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD TO A COUPLE OF KINK/SWINGING SITES THAT I'M ON
This post was inspired by the advice of a good friend so
here's me being transparent, shit here goes......
I'm in no rush but my heart is open for the right
person/people. The conditions need to be right and I'm willing to wait for
that.
Ultimately I am indeed open to give and receive love I’d
love to one day meet someone who loves me warts and all for who I am and as
unconditionally as it’s practically possible. As a solo-poly this could
potentially be 2-3 very special fucking awesome women.
I consider myself to be a very pragmatic realist. Plus based
on past experiences and knowledge of self if certain very basic things are not
in place I won’t even indulge in the fantasy of becoming someone’s anchor or
primary partner.
I absolutely positively DO NOT believe that love conquers
all. So here’s my list of love nurturing deal breakers and areas of concern
from my perspective…..
THE THREE NON-NEGOTIABLES
- It
takes me more than an hour to get to where you live.
Reason: Quality time and touch are for me two very important
love languages.
- You
see yourself one day transitioning away from the Ethically Non-Monogamous
lifestyle.
Reason: Monogamy is beautiful it’s just not for me if this
is your core belief too we’re off to a good start.
- Fuck
anyone you like but you must consciously commit to NOT nurturing deep
intimacy with anyone else new to you for at least the first 3-6 months of
our relationship.
Reason: Although I am in principle comfortable with my
partner/s developing deep feeling for other people. Experience has taught me
that dates and overnight stays with others can lead to conflicted loyalties.
CHALLENGES THAT MAKE ME HESITANT TO INVEST IN AND NURTURE A
RELATIONSHIP THAT MIGHT LEAD TO LOVE
As a single parent that has my kids living with me full time
if you’re in a similar situation setting aside quality time is going to be
problematic. If you’re child free or don’t have yours with you full time
there’s scope for flexibility.
Reason: I’ve grown weary of only being able to meet that
someone special at parties/hotels/restaurants. I want us to also be able to
hang out together without having to plan what feels like a military operation (
See 1) in the non-negotiables).
Plus I don’t want to have to book a hotel every time I need
a cuddle 🤣
DOES RACE MATTER?
No and yes. This is a tricky one for me. I'm attracted to women of all backgrounds and my sex/dating/relationship history reflects that. However as indicated previously I'm firmly of the opinion that love does NOT conquer all. Post George Floyde I lost the will to raceplain (just made that word up, cool right? lol) the black experience in a world that's currently euro dominant.
I've lost the willingness to exert more than a minimal amount of energy on explaining the insidious nature of racism to someone who only has a surface level of understanding.
That's my longish way of saying I'd prefer to be in a long term relationship with a black woman but I'll keep an open mind.
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