Post 2020 My Journey Back Into The Lifestyle. Bull Swinger Or Something Else?

 It's been a long time since I last wrote a blog, in part because I wanted to focus on other things and of course in no small part due to all the upheaval that we have all gone through over the past couple of years. 

Being single during covid was to put it mildly not much fun but on the flip side it was an opportune moment in time to reflect on what direction I wanted to take with regard to relationships and my sexual journey going forward. 

In summary I can to the conclusion that my sexual fulfilment required balance.  

So what does balance look like for someone like me? I’m pretty sure that ultimately each and every one of us has a core need to be cared for and loved regardless of what mask of independent self-sufficiency we present to the outside world. 

However, from the perspective of a swinger how can this be achieved without having to sacrifice the freedom to fully express one's sexual desires. During lockdown as much as I ached for sensual kisses and a woman’s head on my chest in a gentle embrace. The longing to once again fuck other men’s wives was almost as intense.  

 

Deep into the core of who I am I knew that I wasn’t prepared to ever give one up for the other ever again but how was I to achieve this balance that I so desired? 

I knew that the most sensible path would be to seek out genuine companionship first. Of all the options available to me OKcupid looked to be the best of a variety of imperfect solutions. Tinder wasn’t going to work for two reasons a) I think its best suited to a younger age group and b) Having to explain my ethically non-monogamous stance on dating with vanilla women would have been mentally exhausting. 

Luckily OKCupid gives you the option of stating that you a non-monogamous in your profile. That made it so much easier to reach out to women with goals and desires that are likely to be similar to my own. 

 

Boy did I get lucky!!  

About a year ago a sexy intelligent very naughty woman in her 40s reached out to me and we started seeing each other. She recently told me that she loves me and I kid you not I had goosebumps all over my body and temporarily lost the capacity to speak...........wow!!!......now where was I? 

Back when we first met because she was still relatively new to the lifestyle. Not that she needed it but I encouraged her to carry on doing what she was already doing. She was going on dates and attending swinging parties as a single woman. I made a point of not going with her at first because I wanted her to make discoveries for herself and work out what is fun and pleasurable without having to factor in how I would be feeling If I had been stood next to her at these parties. 

I naturally ensured that I was always available to give her support when needed and ensured that she was able to benefit from my advice based on years of experience as a swinger and kinkster. 

During this period, I have separately been reaching out to couples in the hope of finding one that is a good match for my current circumstances. Although I’ve had some amazing one off adventures in the past, I have now come to the conclusion that the best way to get the most out of the cuckold dynamic is to have fun with a couple that lives local enough to be able to meet up with easily. 

Finding a good match in the world of cuckolding is an agonisingly slow bittersweet process for most people but it always feels worth the wait when it finally happens. That said I haven’t exactly been idle in the meantime. My partner and me are still in the head spinning honeymoon phase of our relationship and we recently attended our first interracial swingers party together. Boy was that interesting. 

At one point I was stood at the edge of a balcony overlooking the dance floor discreetly observing my two lovers at the time both dressed as nurses introducing themselves to each other. Both were also being chatted up by very flirtatious black men. One of them like me was dress up as a doctor and the three of us later ended up in one of the private rooms. Two doctors and one nurse that is, I will tell you all about that little adventure in another blog ;-) 

The cuckold emissary vs the FLR cuckoldress PART ONE

Its funny, years back when I first started blogging although I enjoyed sharing my thought process the main theme of my blogs was to titillate by describing in detail what I got up to with the couples that I was meeting at the time. These days I'm a little more reflective but I still like to throw in a few juicy bits. Another reason why my blogs are currently more reflective is the blue balls inducing fact that I don't have a regular cuckold couple that I am able to see on a regular basis. There was me ever so patiently building potential foundations with a handful of couples and then....BAM!!!

 Covin-19 *#%!!#!!# grrrrrr. damn, am I going to have to start all over again whenever when is??

Oh well I'm just going to have to find a way to make the most of a not very nice at all situation. Maybe its an age thing but the older I get the more I find myself less interested in one off swinging meets with couples and more interested in arrangements with couples that are semi-regular in nature. Its not exactly a new thought process for me and I have no doubt that it has a lot to do with why I am so powerfully drawn to cuckold couples in particular. 

Now don't get me wrong I love having fun with hotwife and bi couples (especially because I'm now a cock sucker too) but with cuckold couples there is a delicately nuanced distinction that generally speaking isn't there with other dynamics. Of course this is is an over simplification that doesn't take into account the oh so many shades of grey and yes there are always exceptions to this rule but please accept my polite request to bear with me.

A cuckold is much more likely to flirt with the ultimate danger the Icarus's of the swinging world perhaps. Although the term Bull is used a passionate cuckold is actually flirting with the concept of a Bull in all but name being his wife's lover. If swinging is a danger sport then the cuckold lifestyle in its purest form must be the most high octane adrenaline inducing no safety net danger sport there is.

As a swinger with experience of shared adventures with past girlfriends I'm able to tap into and understand those desires. As a Bull forever addicted to the cerebral intoxication I get when I take another mans wife I get it on that level too. Its deep and its primal. As a compassionate empathetic human being I also understand my responsibilities. And that’s why I enjoy getting to know...

THE CUCKOLD EMISSARY

Although there are always exceptions more often that not my first contact with a cuckold couple from sites like Hotwifing and FabSwingers is via the husband/boyfriend. Its usually him that had the fantasy first and even when that’s not the case he is the one most likely to fixate on and dedicate time towards turning the fantasy into a reality. More often that not the wife has "better things to do with her time" especially in the early stages.

By the way this is one of the aspects of the lifestyle that I really enjoy. sometimes it feels like a game of chess that can span weeks, months and yes even years. However unlike in chess, everyone wins.

I do have a caveat though having to weed out time wasting fantasists is the part I loath. Experience is forever finetuning my bullshit detector so although I'm getting better I loath fantasists who have no intention of ever revealing their fantasy to their wives. Its a total waste of my time, time that could have been better spent getting to know a genuine cuckold. I don't have a problem with fantasist who are up front about just being a fantasist though I just wish more of them would be more honest both to me and themselves. 

In my opinion if you're an experienced Bull you need to be aware of the fact that you are both the interviewer and interviewee that you are both the hunter and the hunted. The cuckold is sizing you up. He wants to know if you are the real deal. Are you a Bull or are you just another guy looking for an angle to get an easy fuck with his Mrs. If things develop and you end up spending time alone with his wife are you the kind of man who will want to have is wife or HAVE his wife. When alone with her are you going to indulge in fun filth and escapism with her or are you going to plot and try to plant seeds with the selfish goal of sabotaging their relationship? If the three of you are to have shared experiences how happy are you to with involving the cuckold. Will you ignore the cuckold, tolerate him or relish his involvement?

Speaking as someone who has previously been part of a couple who swings they were certainly some of the questions that would pass through my mind.

So what about now what matters to me from the Bulls perspective? I will want to know how experienced they are with the cuckold dynamic. Are they virgins, are transitioning from a swinging dynamic. Are they cuckold lifestylers or do they prefer to dip in and out for a bit of fun now and then. Does the cuckold have his wife’s blessing and if he does are their desires aligned enough to not be a source of friction. Is the cuck submissive to his core or an Alpha cuck. Are they looking for exclusivity a main Bull a handful of, or many Bulls? All these questions and more need to be delved into.

As a Bull I am fully aware of my need to be flexible. But I too have needs and have to be mindful to not compromise on a few core areas that are important to me and my desires.

.....PHEW!!! That sounds like a lot of hard work you might say....well it is. To my mind if you are more closely aligned to the cuckold dynamic as opposed to for example the Hotwife, Stag/Vixen dynamic you're not going to be fucking as many women. It can be oh so frustrating and the successes can sometimes be few and far between. Its for that reason that I shook things up a bit some years back. After all Bulls have a rather high sex drive and blue balls are blue balls lol

So you may ask..."is there a plus side to spending all that time chatting with a cuckold?"

Fuck yes!!

If the couple are close, highly communicative and emotionally in tune with each other the cuckold knows his woman. He knows what she likes and if he likes you he will do everything in his power to ensure that when you do finally communicate with or meet his wife in person just about every obstacle to you having her has been demolished.....that's if you have been paying attention and asking the right questions.

Speaking personally that’s not the only reason I like to get to know the cuckold. I'm actually a pretty sociable person and enjoy spending time with people who have a shared interest and what can be more engrossing than two men that two men with a shared passion for the cuck lifestyle and the same woman. Its genuinely an honour when a cuckold proudly shows off about his wife to me, trusts me enough to open up be vulnerable and let me "have" the love of his life. That’s the happy hedonistic side of me speaking.

The dark deviant perv in me remembers all I know about the cuckold when I'm spending time with his wife not so much when I have her to myself but when the cuck is in the room my knowledge of him as a person adds to my pleasure. I know how he feels when I'm kissing his wife. I know what’s going through his mind when he guides my cock into his loved ones pussy....and if he is a jealous cuckold with any overt or closet bi tendencies my dark twisted side relishes the mental roller coaster ride of the cuckold.

One of the things I relish most when a jealous bi cuckold is in the room is not just his jealous arousal of me when I kiss and fuck his wife but his envy of his wife because I'm fucking her and not him. That all he gets to do is suck my cock but his deeper desire to be fucked my me goes unfulfilled....oh yes my dark evil side relishes his turmoil.

BUT!!

Everything I just said is meaningless if one key element isn't in place its the woman who has the final say. Bond all you like with the cuckold emissary if his partner isn't on board two? Well it ain't gonna happen is it lol

That's what makes it extra interesting on the rarer occasions when its actually the wife or girlfriend who reaches out to me first. I'll talk about that in PART TWO

Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 3 of 3

As hinted at one of the couples at the party I organised had asked if it would be ok to stay the night. It was a suggestion that I was more than happy with because during the party itself I was in host mode and not the least bit horny. I just wanted to be sure that everyone invited had a good time. 

I had invited a black Domme friend to help host, four other bi leaning black Bulls and four couples. I already knew all of the four couples who accepted my party invitation and of the four I already knew three of the women.....biblically ;-). Although I didn't know the Bulls as well as the couples I had been in conversation with them for quite a while and was confident that they were the kind of black men who would represent themselves favourably. 

Hosting a successful party and ensuring that everyone had a good time was my priority that night and because I knew two of the couples particularly well I knew that even if I didn't get to fuck that night I would soon after.

I need not have worried.

I kicked everyone out at around 3am so now it was just me and the bi couple. Oh by the way two of the couples had bi males and the other two were cuckold males. That's why I had carefully vetted the invited Bulls to ensure that they were at least bi curious.

Anyway we settled into one of the beds together chatted about how sussesful the party had been and then I started to kiss Rose. I always love kissing her she's so good with her mouth so I'm quite addicted. Her husband Jim loves stroking my cock. So he wet his hand and a bit and got to work caressing my shaft and gently wanking me off mmmmmmm.

Because of the trust and openness between us whenever we've met we've know when I need to use a condom and when not to. This was to be one of those rare times when no condom was required. Jim loves teasing Rose's pussy with my cock and I quite like it too ;-) I get so worked up I start leaking precum. You don't see the droplets for long though because I'm now slowly dipping my helmet in her oh so wet sounding pussy.

By this point we're all making pleasurable moaning noises. I'm loving the fact that both of them are closely observing my cock and we are all relishing the asthetics of our contrasting skin colour. It feels so good being inside Rose while Jim gently caresses my balls. After a while the teasing is too much for Jim so he puts his hand on my arse and gently pushes me all the way into his wife mmmmmmm.

He then went to the other end of the bed and sliped his cock im his wife's mouth. As mentioned before Jim's cock is both long and thick and has the effect of intimidating some of the black guys that they have met. Not me though. I thought his cock looked amazing in his wife's mouth. So much so that I felt compelled to suck it. I wrestled with the idea for a few minites. But in the end I thought "fuck why not"

So now not only was I fucking Rose bareback but I was also kissing her and sucking and licking her husbands cock with her too. Man what a sweet mind fuck that was for me mmmmm.

Now because Of Jim's size Rose always has to be brace her self and feel ready before she lets him inside her. So when they go to swinging events she doesn't let him fuck her until she feels that she has had her share of fun. That point came and Rose asked me to cum inside her. By this point I no longer had Jim's cock in my mouth. He was somewhere to the side of us and it was just Rose and me passionately kissing and fucking. Fuck she's good...talking to me with that soft sexy voice until I  erupted inside her. When I pulled out Jim wasted no time and excitedly slipped his cock in his sexy wife. The voyeur in me drank it all in. Both were obviously feeling horny as fuck and Jim was particularly turned on by the fact that my creamy load was sloshing around his cock and providing more than  ample lubrication as he fucked his wife. He finally gasped with pleasure shot his load and eventually flopped to the side of the bed too.

Jim kept going on about how good it felt to fuck Rose with my cum inside her. Fuck I though...I know were safe today so why not make the most of it I thought. Long story short we both took turns having sloppy secounds. Its a while ago now so I don't remember if either of us came in Rose again that night. But her pussy was so full of cum lubrication it wouldn't have made a difference. 

I will never forget that night. Its memorable because of the shear lustful filth between us and from my perspective because it was the night I because a card carrying cock sucker.

So back to the original question in this blog. Does size matter? 

Yes....

and no

Its vaugue I know but also true. Its better to ask yourself that question. Does size matter to you? If the answer is yes yes and YES then you know what to look for. 

But if it is just one of a number of factors that lead to a whole greater than the sum of its parts then you too should know what to look for.

What's my take on it? Well I have a pragmatic, hedonistic swingers mindset. So if I'm free to salivate over tall, short gym fit, curvy, PAWG etc etc etc women why shouldn't women be entitled to the same? Some women want to be stuffed full all of the time. Some want it now and then or as an occasional treat and some run a mile from the porn sized cock. 

If I'm with a woman its because I like her and that most important ingrdient is in place...chemistry. 

In that moment she is all I want, desire or need. So on the flip side I expect the same from her. I don't care if she wants a man with a bigger cock next week as long as when with me she is 100% in the moment. Its me and my cock that matters most to her.