No I'm Not Too Scared To Go To Sex and Kink Parties By Myself. It's Just That.....

THIS IS NOT SO MUCH A BLOG BUT MORE THE OTHER END OF ONE OF TWO LINKS THAT I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD TO A COUPLE OF KINK/SWINGING SITES THAT I'M ON 

This Is The Other One

Sex in isolation of connection or chemistry does nothing for me. So although I’ll attend socials and munches as a single male I won’t attend parties by myself. I’m a very empathetic person so when you combine that with my compersion that manifests itself in the forms of both joy and lust. You’ll get why I’m a lot more excited by the idea of a woman having uninhibited fun with me at her side to facilitate/corrupt/protect (depending on her temperament)…..than I am about having sex with a stranger however hot they might be……..unless of course fun with that stranger/s is indulged in with my partner 🤤🤤.

 

IF WE’RE PLATONIC FRIENDS

 

I’m just happy to see you having fun and beside me being happy on your behalf it means I get to go to an event and not have to exert quite as much mental energy reassuring people that I’m ok/safe to chill or hang out with.

 

 

IF IT’S SEXUAL BETWEEN US

 

If you’re a promiscuous woman you’re my kind of person. A shared passion can be the foundation of a great friendship. So speaking as a card carrying shout it from the rooftops sl*t worshipper I can’t think of anything more exciting than going on exciting dick discovery adventures with you and hearing about the mouth salivating adventures that you may be having when I’m not around.

 

THE NON-NEGOTIABLES

 

1)            You are Ethically Non-Monogamous NOT just non-monogamous.

Reason: I’m in no position to judge especially because I cheated in my longest ever relationship. But I made a vow to be forever transparent after that and ‘m sticking to it. Anyone close to me needs to be a person who shares this perspective.

2)            You test for STIs regularly and whenever you play with someone you. You’re also not shy about ensuring that your play partners also test regularly and are willing to share their results with you

Reason: Safe play = more fun for everyone.

*Conversations about STI checks can be a real mood killer especially at clubs so more often than not I tend to play on a second meet. In other words don’t take offence (some do) but please be prepared for an upfront chat about the last time we all got tested.

Free NHS home testing kits can be ordered online so embarrassment/being busy is no longer an obstacle

Yep Horny Swingers Kinksters & Pervs Need Love Too

THIS IS NOT SO MUCH A BLOG BUT MORE THE OTHER END OF A LINK THAT I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD TO A COUPLE OF KINK/SWINGING SITES THAT I'M ON 

This Is The Other One

This post was inspired by the advice of a good friend so here's me being transparent, shit here goes......

I'm in no rush but my heart is open for the right person/people. The conditions need to be right and I'm willing to wait for that.

Ultimately I am indeed open to give and receive love I’d love to one day meet someone who loves me warts and all for who I am and as unconditionally as it’s practically possible. As a solo-poly this could potentially be 2-3 very special fucking awesome women.

I consider myself to be a very pragmatic realist. Plus based on past experiences and knowledge of self if certain very basic things are not in place I won’t even indulge in the fantasy of becoming someone’s anchor or primary partner.

I absolutely positively DO NOT believe that love conquers all. So here’s my list of love nurturing deal breakers and areas of concern from my perspective…..

THE THREE NON-NEGOTIABLES

1. It takes me more than an hour to get to where you live.

Reason: Quality time and touch are for me two very important love languages.

2. You see yourself one day transitioning away from the Ethically Non-Monogamous lifestyle.

Reason: Monogamy is beautiful it’s just not for me if this is your core belief too we’re off to a good start.

3. Fuck anyone you like but you must consciously commit to NOT nurturing deep intimacy with anyone else new to you for at least the first 3-6 months of our relationship.

Reason: Although I am in principle comfortable with my partner/s developing deep feeling for other people. Experience has taught me that dates and overnight stays with others can lead to conflicted loyalties.

CHALLENGES THAT MAKE ME HESITANT TO INVEST IN AND NURTURE A RELATIONSHIP THAT MIGHT LEAD TO LOVE

As a single parent that has my kids living with me full time if you’re in a similar situation setting aside quality time is going to be problematic. If you’re child free or don’t have yours with you full time there’s scope for flexibility.

Reason: I’ve grown weary of only being able to meet that someone special at parties/hotels/restaurants. I want us to also be able to hang out together without having to plan what feels like a military operation ( See 1) in the non-negotiables).

Plus I don’t want to have to book a hotel every time I need a cuddle 🤣

DOES RACE MATTER?

No and yes. This is a tricky one for me. I'm attracted to women of all backgrounds and my sex/dating/relationship history reflects that. However as indicated previously I'm firmly of the opinion that love does NOT conquer all. Post George Floyde I lost the will to raceplain (just made that word up, cool right? lol) the black experience in a world that's currently euro dominant.

I've lost the willingness to exert more than a minimal amount of energy on explaining the insidious nature of racism to someone who only has a surface level of understanding. 

That's my longish way of saying I'd prefer to be in a long term relationship with a black woman but I'll keep an open mind.

 

I Thought I Hated Gangbangs

 

I've been into swinging and kink for decades now and during that time whenever I got an invite to a gangbang I always turned them down without hesitation. Why? In part because of nerves but also because a part of me always felt a bit offended. I always pictured them as cold and impersonal and with the way my ego is mapped out I have no interest in just being a number in a line up. That doesn't feel the least bit sexy or horny from my perspective.

 

That said when I've looked back I have indeed been in gangbangs two in total and I had a fucking amazing time. I realised afterwards that on both occasions it was because they happened organically after I'd got to know the greedy girls in question. Although very temporary a connection had been made and for me that makes all the difference.

 

I get how anonymity can be horny as fuck but for me that only works in specific scenarios or when roles have been flipped. Which leads me on the the point of this little update.

 

I LOVE GANGBANGS

 

It's dawned on me that I'm starting to crave greedy girls as much as I do other men's wives (always in an ENM context). However there is a catch, the greedy girl needs to be MY greedy girl for the gangbang scenario to be an automatic turn on for me. I always get turned on when my women friends tell me about their naughty adventure and the closer we are the more of a turn on it is for me.

 

How did this revelation present itself to me? Well this month I went to a swinging club with a good friend. I told her to enjoy herself and and to unleash her inner s**t if so inclined. Boy did she unleash, I purposely got her to suck my cock in the club's cinema room with her arse in the air. She said yes to every man that approached her and as long as he had a condom ready I gave my blessing. The lust I felt was intoxicating and to say I'm hooked would be an understatement.

 

I'm out again with another friend soon. Now I've never been one to go to a club with any expectation. As a solo-poly I'm quite content to take the slow approach and from my perspective I consider a nice chat in a naughty environment a success. However ;-)