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Sunday, 7 January 2018

The path to yet more pleasurable filth as a swinging couple PART 4 mentioned previously although I was happy to attend swinging events on a go with the flow basis, in order to increase the chances of us having possible foursome with couples, I felt that the occasional nudge to balance things out was required.

Our first couples only club event was a bit of a mixed success. We went to the VA club which is without doubt our favourite venue. It has a very large jaccuzi and all the play areas are out in the open. So if you are feeling in any way shy or self conscious this is not the right place to be. I first heard about this club when I was still single and my feelings about it were mixed. I had heard good things about it but wasn't sure how I would feel about the fact that there was no way of hiding yourself away for a more intimate experience.

However I need not have worried. I now feel that because there is nowhere to hide it adds to the sexy atmosphere of the club. In most clubs once it gets beyond midnight all the lockable areas are in use and often one of two things can happen. If you have been taking your time to get to know someone and now feel ready to have fun with them. Then trying to find a free area can be a rather frustrating mood killing experience.

Another thing that can sometimes happen is that it can make the club feel all but empty. So as a single male if you go on a night when not that many people attend and you haven't really clicked with anyone before the late hours, you can very quickly get bored. Why? because you're not having fun with anyone and you can't even have a little perv because everything is taking place behind locked doors.

However because The VA club is designed with an open layout. The is always something of interest to see. I also suspect that because there is nowhere to hide it brings out the exhibitionist in everyone and takes away some of the pressure that one might feel in other swinging establishments.

Anyway as indicated previously, our first visit to VA on a typical couples only night was a bit of a mixed bag. Without the presence of single males the atmosphere in a swinging club is very different. Couples are are lot more hesitant in engaging with each other. Although this is sometimes out of choice, more often than not it is due to shyness and not being sure how to engage with others.

You will find that men are much more respectful when approaching women. However I strongly suspect this has more to do with them not wanting to annoy their partner than them being miraculously more respectful of women than their single male counterparts. Either way, the mood is very different.

Were I to give advice to couples taking their first baby steps into swinging I would probably suggest that they go to a club on a couples night first. It is certainly a lot less intimidating. However for some it would be rather boring and something of an anti-climax.

Although we engaged a few couples in conversation the main source of excitement was the fact that we were able to fuck and watch other people fucking in close proximity to us. So it was more of a voyeuristic event than anything else.

Having said that there was one rather controversial moment that did put us to the test. At one point on one of the beds Foxy was giving me one of her legendary blow jobs. This was closely observed by a middle aged white couple who had come to sit right next to us to watch. As soon as Foxy paused for a break the woman leant over and started to eagerly suck my cock. she had clearly been waiting for an opportunity and she seized it.

It felt amazing but I was also keenly aware of the fact that the woman hadn't asked either of us for permission to suck. I pulled Foxy closer to me and quietly asked her if she was ok with the situation. I can't quite remember what she mumbled to me but her face was all the answer I needed. I'd be lying if I said no will power was needed but at that point I instantly told her to stop and we moved to another part of the club.

There we sat for a while and discussed what had happened. Basically Foxy's sentiment was very much like mine when we are dealing with single males in clubs. Had the lady shown her respect by engaging with her she would have been happy to let her give me a blow job. However because she felt ignored and disrespected there was no way she was going to be happy with the situation.

Influenced in part by that incident we never take anything for granted when involving others at clubs. There may one day be a time where an expression or slight gesture from the other will be enough for the other to know its ok to engage with another person or couple. But for now we feel it safest and best to expressly seek permission from the other.

Another thing that we learnt from that couples only night and others that we have attended is how much more difficult it is to find a couple to have fun with than it is single males. The law of averages means that it is easy to bump into at least one single male at a club who is half decent and you can have fun with. However with couples just leaving things to chance has significantly lower chance of success. Its no coincidence that the very first time we had a proper foursome it was with people already know to us. Now that was fun. I will tell you all about that adventure in the next part of this blog......

Monday, 21 August 2017

The path to yet more pleasurable filth as a swinging couple PART 3

.......the foremost questions in my mind related to how Foxy would feel if an opportunity came where there might be the possibility of me fucking another woman. Naturally from time to time it would be a topic of conversation. Particularly on the weekends that we attended swinging events. Foxy said that she would probably be ok with it when the time came, but that the idea of it made her very nervous.

Its because of this that I decided to pace things out and try not to knowingly push Foxy into any kind of situation that would make her feel uncomfortable. Fortunately I'm a patient man so waiting for the right moment wasn't going to be a problem for me. Now don't get me wrong, that didn't mean it was always going to be easy. After all, I have been a swinger for well over a decade and always loved the thrill of meeting and having fun with new people. As the months passed there would sometimes be moments when the desire to have fun that included other woman would increase. Not so much out of a desire to fuck anyone in particular but more because I wanted questions answered and wanted to come out of what in same ways was a state of limbo.

One thing however was certain. I was in no doubt that whatever the answers to the unanswered questions might be. I had no intention bringing things to an end. This was the real deal. Loving and being loved by someone you have so much in common with and get on so well with is so overwhelmingly wonderful. Were you to encounter us in our moments of normality you would be forgiven for wanting to throw up. We can be and often are sickeningly gushy with each other and cuddle constantly. I love that with a passion.

As a single male I had all the freedom I wanted. I was free to meet and have fun with anyone I clicked with and answered to no one but myself. By nature I enjoy the company of women so when you're a swinger and have the additional perk of being able to fuck some of the people you get along with.....well whats not to like?

However along with that freedom comes a downside. One might not even be aware of it on a conscious level. But over time it can creep up at you and bite you when you least expect it. That thing is loneliness. As a typically proud man I don't like admitting to it but have to acknowledge moments in time when I have felt a little smothered by it. However even when I was single I was fortunate enough not to be overwhelmed by it on too regular a basis.

This is for several reasons. I have to acknowledge the fact that I have friends and family that I can fall back on in the most extreme situations, However I also have a very strong and disciplined mind. I don't say that to boast and neither do I say that under the delusion that I am immune from cracking under the "wrong" circumstances. As with any other negative emotion I have ways of dealing with it. Not by making the mistake of trying to suppress it, but facing it head on and confronting it. All the while being careful not to give that negative state of mind too much nurturing.

So if it turned out to be the case that Foxy would never feel at ease with me fucking other women. The question wasn't if the relationship would last. But more a case of exploring what form our swinging activities would take.

Option one would be to still attend swinging clubs, soak up the sexually charged atmosphere but never involve anyone else when having fun with each other. Option two would be to focus our energies on meeting single men for MMF threesome fun. The third option would be to indulge in soft swing non-penetrative sex with other people.

Option one to me felt like one of those ideas that might sound good in theory but the actual execution may end up being problematic. Particularly if we were to go to swinging clubs on a regular bases. Were one of us to get too turned on by our surroundings it could end up being a source of frustration.

Option two sounded a little better Our first proper threesome with a single guy had been an extremely horny experience. Were this to be repeated on a semi-regular bases I could picture us having some extremely naughty adventures. However, from my perspective this would be with the condition that the male in question was like me a big fan of oral bi fun. That said I could see myself potentially feeling short changed and perhaps even resentful in the medium to long term.

Why? Because although some of my cravings now include meeting a respectful guy with a nice cock for Foxy and me to share and suck on together. For me fun with guys will always come a poor second to fun with women. Besides, as a former Bull if all our full ended up being with single males. Wouldn't that make me dangerously close to being a cuckold? .........."fuck no, ain't gonna let that happen any time soon." The same also applies from Foxy's perspective. Although she is bi-curious she has pointed out that the idea of threesomes with woman would be unfulfilling from her perspective too.

That left option three to consider. The nature of most of our adventures with others were what you would call soft swing in nature. Always extremely horny and I never walked away wishing for more to have happened, except when straight single guys were involved. Broadly speaking, when it comes to swinging I have already been there and done it all. This felt right and balanced, I could happily take this path with Foxy and not feel like I had missed out in any way.

One such soft swing encounter was at a well known naturist spa in NW London frequented by swingers . It is one of two spa that we like to go to when feeling a little horny but also quite chilled so we never go with any real agenda or sense of expectation. In terms of the decor it is the nicer of the two but not normally favoured by me because the single males that go to the venue have a reputation for being a bit too pushy when trying to ingratiate themselves with single ladies and couples.

Being as experienced in the world of swinging as I am. Handling pushy single guys is not a problem for me. But I would rather be relaxed than on guard duty when at a spa. When we arrived we did our usual ritual of taking a shower and dividing our time between one of the smallish circular Jacuzzi's and the larger pool shaped Jacuzzi, this could probably house a few dozen people.

As usual, everywhere we went we were followed. This is almost always a source of amusement for Foxy and me. The behaviour is always predictable and for me even more amusing when the guys think they are being subtle or stealth like.

On this particular evening there was quite a high percentage of black guys. This appealed to the rather wicked side of my nature that enjoys teasing. Foxy has what I would call a black man friendly body. See's all tits n ass with the face of an angel. I am now resigned to the fact that if she goes anywhere and black guys are present she is going to get looks in her direction....and that's just in normal daily life.

The single guys following us around that night were more respectable than I expected given the venue. Yes it was obvious why they were being so nice to me. But they were playing by the rules that I lived by when I was single. Always to be respectful, friendly and not carry yourself with an air of entitlement just because there were naked women in the vicinity.

As the night progressed I gradually relaxed and switched from guard dog to relaxed mode. I was also feeling rather proud to have my sexy girlfriend by my side. It was bringing out the horny exhibitionist  in us both so when we got up to find one of the small play rooms I made no attempt to lock the door.

Before long one of the black guys approached us and asked if it would be alright for him to watch. I said yes and as he entered he attempted to shut the door. A common tactic used by single guys to secure their prize and ensure that no one else ruined things for them. I told him to leave it open which he did. He stood at a respectable distance watched us climb onto the bed and started to stoke himself  as Foxy began sucking my cock.

This was a turn on for me not only because it felt good but also because I had positioned myself so that he would get a good view of Foxy's delicious curves as she sucked me. Foxy was as wet with arousal as I was hard. I invited the young black guy to slip his cock in Foxy's mouth which she happily sucked on with enthusiasm. Before long and as expected a couple of the other black guys came and watched through the gap in the door which had remained slightly open.

Soon after one of the Spa managers walked past and said that for safely reasons the door to the room had to be closed, most likely because the corridor was being obstructed. In days gone past I would most likely have told everyone to vacate at this point but on this evening I was feeling particularly mischievous.

The door shut resulting in the small and now very hot and stuffy room now being filled by three other black men. Besides myself the one already being sucked by Foxy and one white guy. Each one of them had their cock in their hand. 

Foxy continued to expertly attended to the guy's cock with her warm wet mouth. After a short while I flipped her around so that her glorious arse was in the air and positioned myself behind her. Oh what a glorious sight.

Foxy knows that I love showing off her arse and being a major exhibitionist I knew that having an audience was a major turn on for her. I could tell she was in a world of her own. Blissfully getting great pleasure from the fact that she was free to indulge in one of her favourite and most skillful activities, sucking cock. By the end of our horny session she had put a massive smile on the faces of four horny guys.

However. As horny as the situation was I was mindful of two things that night. When it comes to swinging events due to sheer numbers if one is interested in finding single males to have fun with, one will never struggle. With single women out of the equation the only way I was going to get an opportunity to play with women would be if there were other interesting couples hoping to have fun in a foursome.

There lies the problem. When it comes to couples any experienced swinging couple will tell you that it is easier said than done. Why because when it comes to foursome fun. Finding two couples equally interested in each other at a chance club or spa encounter is extremely rare. More often than not its something that has to be planned in advance.

With that in mind I began thinking of ways to try and make such encounters a more realistic possibility. 

Naturally I shared my thoughts with Foxy. I explained that although I had really enjoyed our adventure in the spa. I asked if she woukd be open to a little tweak here and there to balance things out a little.

Realistically I knew that opportunities to play with couples would never match those of meeting single males. But things could be done to at least nudge things a little bit more in the other direction.  

From this point onward we would focus the majority of our swinging adventures on two types of events. Couples nights and bi nights. Why bi nights? Because as horny as our fun in the spa was. I was somewhat frustrated by the fact that I didn't feel free to join in when Foxy sucked the guys cocks. A couple of them had lovely examples that I would really have liked to have had in my mouth too.

Not long after we attended our first couples only swinging event.....

Saturday, 12 August 2017

The path to yet more pleasurable filth as a swinging couple PART 2

..........that moment finally came. Its several months ago now so I can't quite remember if he asked or I made the suggestion that he get a condom and fuck my Foxy. I do remember being nervous and wondering what impact this would have on our relationship. We switched ends so as he prepared himself I slipped my cock into Foxy's warm wet mouth. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but Foxy's cock sucking skills are truly special. I say this as a man that said for years that with regard to blow jobs I could take it or leave it. I know know that it all depends on the person doing the sucking.

Foxy sucks my cock just how I like it. Unrushed and with true enthusiasm and relish about the fact that she has a hard cock in her mouth. The guy was now ready and gently eased his cock into Foxy's wet pussy. I looked on with feelings of both lust and jealousy. Some swingers say they never feel jealousy when they see their lady being fucked. That's not me and based on past experience I don't think it will ever be me. I think I will always feel a little twinge and in my twisted perverted mind I think it adds a sprinkle of spice to the decadent pleasure of being in such situations. 

For me its quite simple, if the person expressing interest in Foxy respects her, me and the relationship I can be very accommodating. If he doesn't and feels that showing respect is an affront to his pride or ego I will be guarded and quite frankly he can fuck off.

Anyway Foxy seemed to be enjoying the situation too. She moaned with pleasure and sucked my cock with yet more relish. The whole scenario was a major turn on and when we reflected on it afterwards it strongly influenced my decision to say to her that we never knowingly engage in a threesome with a single male if he is straight. Except in very special circumstances. Perhaps if I had cuckold or stronger voyeuristic tendencies it  wouldn't be an issue but when someone is fucking my Foxy I find myself in danger of getting bored or restless. Why because I find myself beginning to feel like a bystander. However if the guy is bi he can suck my cock while fucking which to me feels far more inclusive.

Right back to the evenings events. I revealed Foxy's desire to be DVP fucked by two men at once and the guy jumped at the opportunity.  We got him to lay on the bed so that Foxy could position herself and straddle his eager cock. Once they were ready I positioned myself behind her and marvelled. Marvelled as I always do at the vision of perfection that is Foxy's arse....fuck!!!! Foxy was soaking wet with anticipation so gently guiding my cock into her tight pussy wasn't too much of a problem. Helping my girlfriend make one of her fantasies come true gave me so much pleasure. She was obviously highly aroused and that in turn was a turn on for me too. The other couple on the bed looked on with interest but it was only the woman that occasionally joined in by playing with Foxy's breasts and engaging in the occasional kiss. A few other people were also in the room watching but they always maintained a respectable distance.

After some time we changed positions and I was the one under Foxy. Quite frankly I preferred the previous position. However I am sure that he did too and I always think it is important to ensure that everyone has their fair share of fun in a threesome. After a while we stopped for a break, at which point the guy asked if we would be ok with him fucking Foxy up the arse. We wouldn't really have minded but I instinctively said no. Its the Dom in me, never too far beneath the surface regardless of the situation and the Dom in me never grants everything requested of me by a person, certainly not all at once anyway.

The guy then made a different request. Although he had previously stated that he was 99% straight he said he would like to try sucking my cock for the experience. He erm.....took to it like a duck to water. It is also why we now always refer to him as Mr 99% whenever he comes up in conversation. He sucked me while Foxy sucked him. Oh the joy......

That night as we drove home we were buzzing with excitement. Another man had fucked the woman I love and both of us were comfortable with the situation. We chatted excitedly for the whole journey and although it was a working week night and very late by this point we fucked with intense joy and passion when we got home.

The pleasure of that night was the topic of conversation for some days afterwards as we knew we had taken a progressive step forward in our relationship. Its one thing to talk about the theory of having a relationship with someone you love that includes swinging. Putting it into practice is the real test. As far as we were concerned we had passed that test with flying colours. We felt safe in the knowledge that when the conditions were right. Single males could play a role in our sexual adventures.

All very exciting but some questions still remained unanswered at this point.....

Friday, 4 August 2017

The path to yet more pleasurable filth as a swinging couple PART 1

Oh how things have changed over the past ten months. Becoming part of a couple has changed my swinging life in so many ways. A challenge in some ways and oh so rewarding in others. There is so much that I could talk about at this point that I'm not even sure where to begin. As mentioned in my previous blog HOW TO SWING AS A COUPLE AND NOT FUCK IT UP I had two very powerful drives and a longing to truly be able to say that I can have my cake and eat it. I wanted the freedom to swing but along with it an all consuming desire to be in a loving relationship.

As the months have passed I have grown all the more closer to Foxy. She has so many qualities that make me feel both proud and honoured to have her in my life. I truly am a lucky man. It didn't take that long within the relationship to know that I was with a woman that was intelligent, compassionate, loving,  loyal and worthy of my trust. Fortunately she was also filthy beyond redemption. However because she was so new to the world of swinging many questioned remained unanswered. This meant that the path and eventual form of the swinging dynamic of our relationship remained unclear.

Broadly speaking the questions related to whether we would end up as a couple that always played together. If we played with couples, single males and if we were to be a soft or full swing couple.

With so many years of swinging under my belt it felt it best not to rush into situations that involved me fucking other women. I wanted Foxy to know that I took the relationship seriously, that she was my priority and not being  manipulated by a "player". Also, bearing in mind the emotional fuck up the last time I was close to a woman in this environment I was still somewhat apprehensive about how I would feel if I was to witness Foxy being fucked by another man.

This was to be put to the test at the first bisexual party that we attended as a couple. It was midweek and in a South London location used for hosting swinging events of various flavours.

We arrived a little late so didn't waste our time. Soon after arriving I had Foxy blindfolded and tied to a cross in the BDSM room. I relished exposing her curves to everyone and teased her pussy with her wand....all the time whispering in her ear and pointing out the fact that she was being drooled over by all the men in the room. I exposed her breasts and smiled to myself as people voiced their approval. A few of the men expressed a desire to touch Foxy so I gave two permission to play with her breasts. With every moment she grew less nervous and all the more aroused. I have a naughty wicked streak and love to tease so after a relatively brief period of time I told the two men to stop and took Foxy to one of the rooms upstairs. There on a giant bed was a couple and a single male indulging in heavy foreplay.

After watching briefly we decided to join them on the bed. As fine upstanding citizens we kept a respectable distance at first. However it wasn't long before the lady introduced herself to Foxy. Eventually leading to a fair amount of breast massaging and pussy play between the two of them. The single male on the bed also asked if he could join in. He asked respectfully and neither of us had a problem with him so he started playing with Foxy too.

At one point I positioned Foxy on her back while fucking her so that the man could slip his cock in her mouth. I watched with mixed emotions. Twinges of jealousy mixed with arousal but also pride because I know how expertly Foxy sucks cock. My face was very close so I asked him if he was bi or not. His reply was that he was 99% straight however he would be ok about me sucking his cock. I could tell that Foxy was turned on by the situation because her pussy felt so smoothly lubricated by her wetness.

I moved my head close to hers so that I could help her suck this white guys nicely formed cock. Taking turns we sucked and lubricated his hardness while at the same time seamlessly moved our mouths to kiss each other. Talk about a mind fuck. I'm used to being the Bull getting a kick out of "making" couples suck my cock and now here I am with the situation totally reversed. The guy wasn't in any way trying to dominate either of us but I was still acutely aware of the reversal of roles The proud Bull in me wrestled with the situation but having a cock in my mouth while fucking my lady felt sooo damn good. Besides encouraging Foxy to express her inner slut was a real turn on for me.

Talk about a sexual rush. It was probably at around that moment that I made the decision that tonight would be the night that two of Foxy's fantasies would be made a reality. She had a desire to be  DP fucked by to two men at once. Not just arse and pussy but also to have two cocks in her pussy at once. What better time to give it a try. A bisexual party where the proximity of cocks between two men isn't going to drive any male egos into panic mode.

Step one was to grant him permission to fuck my lady if the moment came and it suited us all.....

Saturday, 4 February 2017

How to swing as a couple and not fuck it up P/T 3 of 3

........Although I had been part of a swinging couple before. This was to be the first time I had a swinging partner at a time when my personal circumstances allowed me to be free to really explore where it might lead.

However, as hinted at previously there were some potential challenges on the way. Past experiences made Foxy wary of fully committing to the relationship and on a sexual level accepting me as her Dom.

On my part one of the biggest challenges was how would I feel about Foxy fucking other men. My past indicated that, the closer I got to a woman, the more complex my feeling would be about the idea of other men fucking her. By the end of our first month together our first big challenge presented itself to us.

Although I love the world of BDSM and kink, from my perspective there is one big negative: that being that at many events full sex is either banned or at best tolerated. Now that's a word I have never been a fan of. Anyway I had previously been made aware of an event called Subversion Noir. It had a strict kink dress code and it was no holds barred as far as sex and kink was concerned too. I really wanted to go and so did Foxy. Unfortunately she had already made arrangements to go with an existing fuck buddy. Now this fuck buddy just happened to be the first black guy she had ever been with......damn!

There's this thing. I don't know if it extends much into the vanilla world but within the swinging world us black guys feel a great sense of pride and satisfaction when we arrange to meet a white woman or couple and know it is to be their first adventure with a black man. It's not the least bit politically correct but boy does it feel good. We make an extra special effort to make a good impression, so as to reinforce that all too commonly used phrase......."once you go black............" I knew without a doubt that this guy would be very proud of the fact that he had taken Foxy's black cock virginity away from her. This was to be a big challenge for me.

As a person and as a swinger I have a code that I try to live by. Balance and fairness has always been very important to me. In a swinging context it's quite simple. If within a relationship and I want to be free to fuck other women, my partner should be free to fuck other men too. If I want to be free to keep seeing women that I have fucked in the past, then my partner should be free to do the same.

It was within this mindset that I assured Foxy that she should go ahead with her previous arrangement and that we would all meet at the club. However this was to be with two conditions 1) That this guy should call me so that I can get a sense of who he is and 2) That there would be no fucking between the two of them if I didn't feel comfortable with the situation once we got to the club.

The night of the event came but by the time we all got to the club I was in an ice cold fury. I won't bore you with the details but basically the jealous possessive side of my nature had been triggered. In part because jealousy has no requirement for reason or logic. Other contributing factors were Foxy and the guys lack of swinging experience and the etiquette normally instinctively understood by more experienced swingers.

After some coaxing from Foxy I managed to calm down enough to assess the situation with a bit more sanity. I suggested that we should all have a chat to clear the air. After all this was to be our first time out as a swinging couple and I didn't want it to end on such a sour note. We all agreed to find somewhere private to chat but on route Foxy's friend was approached by a woman who had taken a shine to him at a previous event. I myself tried to kill the time while waiting by chatting with the woman's female sub.

When I looked over at Foxy I could sense that something wasn't quite right. I wasn't sure if she was getting a bit of the green eyed monster too, so I tried to engage her in the conversation. That didn't work and after a short while she wandered off. I tried to disengage from the sub as quickly as possible without appearing rude and went off to find Foxy.

When I got to her she was in no mood to talk. I was basically told to leave her alone. She had previously told me that when she is angry or upset trying to talk to her would most likely just add fuel to the fire. I considered respecting her wishes but on our first night out in a seedy no holds barred club there was no way that was going to happen. I followed her for what felt like a life time fully aware that to any keen observer I would have looked comically pathetic.

I didn't care. I just thought to myself . You STUPID STUPID idiot you've gone and fucked it up now. The sense of panic I felt at that moment was terrifying and the fact I was so scared told me all I needed to know. I wanted Foxy in my life big time. This was not the time to play it cool. Regardless of how embarrassed I was about being in a situation like this in such a public place. At one point Foxy had got herself something to drink. I sat beside her and slowly tried to get her to talk to me. She explained that she was upset both with me and her fuck buddy friend. Our conversations with the two women  had left her feeling like a spare wheel and gave her the impression that we had not taken the current explosive situation seriously.

Eventually she opened up and we got talking. Yes wires had been crossed but on my side the green eyed monster had played a big role too. This was of great concern to me for a number of reasons. Thoughts of my previous failed swinging relationship flooded my mind and I began to wonder. When I have strong feeling for a woman do I have the right temperament and inner sense of security that will allow me to "share?" I thought to myself. If the answer to that question is no, then I'm truly fucked. I love swinging but I now also knew that I needed love in my life too. Was it really not possible for me to have both?

I put these thoughts to one side and decided to focus on ensuring that the rest of the evening was not a disaster. We wondered around trying to find Foxy's fuck buddy but when we couldn't find him we decided to just focus on enjoying the night. However there was to be another challenge that night. Before we had officially become a couple Foxy had met another black guy for a get to know you meal and he was likely to be at the club that night too. He eventually turned up and introduced himself to me for the first time. I was already wary of him because to date he had not introduced himself to me on FabSwingers, even though he was aware of my existence.

Call me a hardened cynic if you like but I have been in the swinging scene long enough to have come to the  unfortunate conclusion that to assume everyone has honourable intent is to be a fool. That said although the scene has some genuinely nice people. It is also full of sharks, wolves and hyenas and that among them some do have a sense of honour. So I always try to keep an open mind and give people the benefit of doubt.

This guy had a lot going for him. He was an intelligent professional and had the kind of body that pisses other guys off lol. BUT he knew how to play the swinging game. He was was patient, respectful of my relationship with Foxy and engaged me in conversation. His body language didn't convey any sense of entitlement or expectation so my guard was lowered. This is one of those areas where I think there is often a misunderstanding between swinging couples. The woman will often say "it doesn't matter what the other guy is thinking what matters is do you trust me? However from the Alpha males point of view that's not the point either. It's about the other guy showing due respect.

This guy did. So after a while I all but threw them together in one of the clubs glory hole booths. Foxy loves giving blow jobs with a passion and gets off on the fantasy of pleasing multiple guys in a glory hole. It was now my mission to make my lady happy so I grabbed the opportunity. Before long she was on her knees with this good looking black guys cock in her mouth. It was pitch black so I couldn't see anything, which was very frustrating, but from the sounds both of them were making they were having a good time. I wanted to join in and give him a suck too but I knew him to be straight so I had to hold back. After what seemed like ages he came in Foxy's mouth and they both left the booth. He had a massive grin on his face and thanked us both for the experience. Just how I used to behave with swinging and cuckold couples when I was single. Had this not been our first adventure in a swinging context I would have let them fuck but I believe in taking things slowly.

After chatting for a bit I told the guy that we wanted some time to ourselves which he respected. We wandered off and after playing on a swing we found a dimly lit area where I wanted to show Foxy off. She has the most amazing arse and I wanted people to see it. Before long we were approached by a few single guys who began caressing her body and massaging her tits. I picked one out and asked him to go with Foxy to one of the glory holes. None were available so I told her to suck him off in one of the busy corridors. She unzipped him and started to treat him with one of her magical blow jobs. They really are that good. She does it wish so much relish and enthusiasm you are in no doubt that she loves the feel of a nice cock in her mouth. As she did this I asked the guy if he was orally bi and he said that he was straight too, damn it!!

I think this was probably the moment when I decided to only knowingly seek out single straight men on very rare occasions at future events. Yes its fun watching Foxy suck cock but she loves it so much she looses all sense of time and after a while I just get bored watching.

That night and for several days later we went over the events of the night. We had both discussed the direction of our relationship beforehand and concluded that frank and honest communication was essential if we were to stand any chance of staying together as a couple. This applies to any couple but when you add swinging to the mix it becomes all the more crucial.

We concluded that although painful at the beginning. The night had been a major success. We had learnt a few things about each other and from a personal point of view I had a clearer picture of where my boundaries lay. I will explain this in more detail in my next blog. In that I will also describe the first bi party we attended in which Foxy got to experience another of her fantasies for the very first time.......lucky girl ;-)

How to swing as a couple and not fuck it up P/T 2 of 3

....... Although very naughty and very adventurous sexually. From a swinging perspective Foxy was still very new. Her approach was to keep a cautious but open mind about the possibility of things developing into something with roots. She was fine with letting things develop on a "lets see what happens" basis. She would have been fine with us just be friends, fuck buddies or friends with benefits as a starting point.

I too would have been happy with this too. That said I felt that Foxy was special and quite frankly if there was the potential of things developing into anything more serious I didn't want to let her just slip through my fingers, or fuck up.

In retrospect although my personal circumstances had now changed there are a number of things I did when I previously met someone special that could have played a part in things not working out for us. If you are in any way curious please feel free to take a look at the blog about the impact that she had on me. 

Foxy came into my life at a time when I was seeing two couples on a semi-regular basis. One cuckold, one bi. With the cuckold couple because they were only a 30 minute drive away I got to see them more often then any previous couple. The cuckold was still in need of much training but in other ways he showed so much potential. He was great at fluffing and seemed to relish the humiliation of rimming me while his girlfriend looked on.

The bi couple was something of a revelation to me. I met them at a swingers camping festival but was only after getting to know each other over a five month period that we actually played with each other. It was on one of these occasions when I organised a mini cuckold party that we had one of our most memorable adventures together. During the party itself I wasn't really in a playing mood. I was much more concerned about everyone having a good time. However after the party they stayed behind. Because we knew and trusted each other so well we always knew when it was ok for me to fuck the wife without using condoms. This was one of those occasions. As a Bull with multiple partners one of my rules was never to fuck more than one woman bareback during a given time period. Given a choice my preference would be for the woman to be the partner of a cuckold but this was pleasurable in its own way too. Not being a cuckold he wasn't there for clean up duties. Basically he liked to fuck too. What gave this couple pleasure was the sensation of the husband fucking his wife after I had shot my heavy load inside her. 

As mentioned in previous blogs my hard spurting heavy cum loads have been a source of great pleasure and amazement for the couples that I have met over the years. By the end of the night her pussy was over flowing with cum from both of us and boy did it feel good being inside her.

Oh I almost forgot to mention that the husband is a very big boy. They had previously told me that on a number of occasions they had met black males but they had not been able to perform. They would arrive with the preconception that hubby would be smaller and they weren't able to handle the different dynamic for some reason.

Anyway there came a moment when I was fucking the wife while she was sucking her husbands cock. As a voyeur I really appreciated the view and to my surprise I found myself struggling really hard to resist the urge to pop it in my mouth too. After all I'm a Bull. Bulls don't suck cock.

I eventually accepted/convinced myself that this was a totally different dynamic and started to suck and lick the tip of his cock while passionately kissing his wife. As I got more comfortable I took more of his cock in my mouth. He had sucked me on previous occasions before guiding me into his wife so I thought it fair to return the favour properly lol.

I have gone more into detail about the bi couple than the cuckold couple because the play with them is more relevant to the kind of swinging fun that I now indulge in with Foxy.

After that kiss I was eager to meet Foxy again. I had already made plans to meet my bi couple friends at their home and Foxy had previously made plans to meet a couple more single guys for get to know you drinks over that same weekend. This was to be my first challenge. I'm a swinger and I had only just met Foxy so naturally I should feel free to carry on as normal. She said she was cool with us both doing our own thing but a little voice in my head told me it was probably a bad idea for me to carry on as usual. Due in no small part to her occasional comment that she was feeling increasingly disillusioned with the whole process of dating.

I felt it crucial to try and make myself stand out in some way and somehow make it clear to Foxy that with me there would be the potential of creating something special. At this point I wasn't sure how things would develop but I instinctively sensed the importance of earning her respect.

She already knew about my plans with the bi couple and I told her that instead of feeling turned on at the prospect of meeting them it was beginning to feel like a duty. It may have sounded like some kind of noble gesture but in reality I simply wasn't interested in meeting and fucking anyone other than Foxy.

As an experienced and (polite cough) fairly promiscuous man. I had been around the block enough times to know that I should trust my instincts. I felt something and didn't want anything distracting me from giving Foxy my full attention.

Foxy ended up doing the same. Like me she cancelled her dates and invited me to her place to watch a Sci-Fi TV series that we are both fans of. Thus began my second challenge. I wanted to show Foxy that I wasn't just interested in her because of her oh so delicious looking body. As a Dom and a Bull I have always prided myself on my levels of self control. I was both determined and confident that on meeting we would have quality time getting to know each other free from the first time nerves of meeting to have sex.

I should have known this plan was flawed and doomed to fail when I offered to give Foxy a massage on her bed. I know it sounds stupid but I genuinely had no intention of taking things further. Certainly not consciously anyway. Over the next three to four weeks we met almost daily......after four weeks I finally accepted defeat. Where Foxy was concerned my levels of self control were comically pathetic. I just couldn't keep my hands off her.

I now had new challenges to contemplate......

Wednesday, 28 September 2016

How to swing as a couple and not fuck it up P/T 1 of 3

As mentioned in my previous blog, in order to be in a state of mind sane enough to move on emotionally, a face to face encounter with the woman I fell in love with was crucial. Now that I was actively hoping to meet single women as opposed to couples almost exclusively. Where was I to look? I had a good sense of what I was looking for although naturally if the chemistry was right I was prepared to be flexible enough to broaden my horizons. So what qualities was I hoping to find? Above all else, intelligence. It doesn't have to be academic intelligence although it can be a good indicator. A curious, open minded  inquiring mind coupled up with emotional intelligence is so important to me. I am prone to get bored and restless quite easily so only a woman with these core qualities can hope to hold my attention. A filthy, open minded, non-judgmental sexual mind would also be important.

Now that my mind was made up I thought to myself how the hell am I going to meet a woman with all of the qualities mentioned above? In the end I opted for a multi pronged approach. Traditional dating sites, swinging and fetish sites.

The traditional dating site/app route just didn't work for me. I saw some profiles that really showed potential but at the back of my mind I kept thinking to myself " the vanilla life just doesn't work for me" perhaps at some point in the future but right now? I also found myself wondering how I would bring up my past if I got close to someone and she wanted to know more about me. I have no interest in keeping secrets. Once upon a time I lead a double life and I have no intention of ever doing that again. There lay my dilemma, I am pretty sure the average woman on the street would freak out if I told her that I stopped counting how many woman I have fucked over the years as a swinger. I stopped counting long ago when I sailed past the number 40.

That left swinging and fetish sites. As a single male primarily identifying himself as a Bull looking for couples. Any single woman venturing across my profiles and blogs would have been forgiven for thinking I had no real interest in them. To be fair that had indeed been the truth for a number of years.

Once I started looking on my most used swinging and fetish sites I quickly discovered the general mood, tone and mindset of the single women I was encountering. On the swinging site although there were obviously exceptions to the rule. The mention of words like emotion, relationship and love almost felt like blasphemy. I am obviously exaggerating to a certain extent but one certainly got the impression that if you admitted to having emotional needs you were revealing some kind of guilty secret. In the sites discussion forums if someone made a posting suggesting that they wanted to date. There would always be at least one irritated response stating that it was not a dating site. However, there would also be encouraging messages from people saying that they met their partner through the site and that they couldn't be happier.

The fetish site I use is different in several ways......

As mentioned previously, my quest to find a partner in crime led to me discarding traditional dating sites and focusing most of my efforts on a swinging site FabSwingers and a fetish site FetLife.

Once I knew that I was on a quest to find someone like minded as my special other half I decided to put myself on a two year mission. I am one that believes that if you want something too eagerly or desperately it will elude you. Hence my decision to give myself what I felt to be ample time to find someone special. If indeed it was meant to be my destiny.

Being the ever horny person that I am. My quest did not mean I was willing to give up my life of depravity while still searching and dating. This was one of the reasons I felt that traditional dating would not work for me. I had no intention of lying to anyone and hoped that any woman I met from the swinging and kink scene would be a little more understanding if I wanted to keep my options open and not rush into anything while looking.

The plan was to combine my normal swinging and cuckolding of couples with attending social events in the kink world. With the aim of networking and getting to know people. This being in part because in the kink world I was not as well known to people.

I attended a few pub socials known as "munches" within the kink scene. Also because of my curiosity about rope bondage and how it could be used for imaginative sex games I attended a few rope play how-to workshops too.

I won't bore you with the details but this eventually let to me corresponding with Foxy. The conversation flowed naturally so naturally we arranged to meet face to face for a quick drink after work as we both work in central London.

We met outside a station and I took her to a local bar that I am familiar with. When we finally settled down and she took her coat off I got a good look at the shape of her body. I think the best way to describe it, is as being black man friendly. Curves everywhere ready to burst free from her dress. Generous hips and a cleavage that screamed "touch me".

The conversation was good and I loved the fact that we had so many shared interests of a nerdy nature as well as us both being somewhat deviant sexually. After the drink we walked back to the station where we would both be heading off in opposite directions on the Central line. On her platform I made an attempt to kiss Foxy.... lets just say it didn't go well. She later told me that my sexual intentions had been a little too clear from my body language in the bar. That said, she concluded that there had been enough positive aspects about me in other areas for her to give me a second chance......phew!!

Not long after that evening we met for lunch. She had a half day and my office was on her route home. On this occasion she walked me back to my building. This time she was of the mind that if I tried to kiss her again she wouldn't resist.

If you have read any of my previous blogs you will probably be aware that for me the kiss is the deal breaker. Everything else can feel perfect but if I don't feel anything when I kiss a women its over there and then. Experience has taught me if there is no passion and chemistry with the kiss, sex with that person won't be any better.

So as I said good bye to Foxy, I stepped close enough to invade her personal space and placed my hands on her hips. Then we kissed. Gentle teasing soft and sensual at first. Then with more passion. I wrapped my arms around her and we kissed some more. Fuck!!! I made my mind up there and then. Never has a lunch break gone so quickly. The rest of the day I was in a daze and could barely focus on anything. I wanted Foxy and I wanted her now.

Life being what it is I had a few challenges to deal with. Foxy had not long ago been in a relationship with a Dom that didn't go well and my open book policy about my sex life made her somewhat wary of me. Besides which I was just one of a few guys expressing and interest in her. How was I going to get Foxy to take me seriously?..........