Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 2 of 3

...so does size matter?

...no

...YES!!

A tenuous link to the ending of Kingdom of Heaven ( great movie by the way ) but I hope you get my weird mental leap.

Anyway of course size bloody matters and when you add the interracial element to the mix it gets yet more fucked up and complex.....if you let it.

"You can't be a Bull you're too young, too old, too short, too fat, not black, too nice, too thuggish, cock isn't big enough etc etc"

errr says who?

I'm not saying this to be politically correct but seriously. According to who's rulebook? Now as far as I'm concerned one of the key aspects of swinging is the freedom to express oneself sexually and not allowing oneself to be limited by the views and opinions of others. 

Naturally I will add the caveat as long as it is mutually consensual, no harm is done and no minors are involved.

I'm one of those people who is fascinated by people. Its no coincidence that I purposely shaped my career in a way that allows me to interact with people on a daily basis. I'm a people watcher and forever inquisitive about what makes a person tick. That curiosity has also strongly influenced my approach to swinging and BDSM too.

If one is in anyway empathic or emotionally intelligent when you scratch beneath the surface you come to the realisation that to some extent everyone is fucked up and everyone has confidence issues. It doesn't matter what they present to the world or how they look its there. Wealth, good looks, awesome tits, a hot body a hefty meaty cock none of it protests you from self doubt.

So to me what ultimately matters is how one deals with the moments of self doubt when they happen and if one is really going to allows ones sexually journey to be dictated by others. I will start with  two negative incidents that come to mind. Both happened at swinging clubs. On the first occasion I was on a large bed with three of four other couples having sex with a woman who eventually became my girlfriend. On the second occasion I was with another woman who was my girlfriend at the time. On this occasion it was a more private room at a swinging club but it had a viewing window so voyeurs could take a peek. On both occasions I overhead a woman say to the person next to her "its not THAT big". Each time I was unable to see who made the comment and each time I blocked what they said from my mind until I'd had my fun with my lady.

Once I allowed what was said to filter back to my conscious mind I felt both anger and if honest a bit of a confidence beating. Luckily for me I was already experienced as a swinger, able to untangle it and not let it leave me permanently knocked down. I wish I had caught who said it though. Good manners and respectable behaviour have always been important to me so when I see the opposite it puts by back up. Its shocking how insensitive people can sometimes be. Some of my female friends have told me about similar experiences in which they have overhead men casually making negative comments about their bodies when at a swinging club. Its such a nasty thoughtless thing to do...and I do mean thoughtless because I think the person saying it often doesn't pause to think about the impact of their words.

That was the negative......on the flip side there have also been a couple of occasions when I have been fucking someone's wife/girlfriend and I had to give the lady time to get used to my cock because I was a bit too big. As an average dicked guy ABC lol that came as something as a surprise the first time but boy did it stroke my ego. 

It also gave me a sense of what it must be like to be the proud owner of a genuinely hefty dick. If I had a porn sized cock I would have to be a more considerate to ensure that I don't do any damage with some women. But with an average cock should the woman I'm with enjoy a hard pounding fuck I don't usually have to ever so carefully pace myself.

I'm free to thrust hard and deep to my hearts content. Its often overlooked but there are as many variables in the shape and size of a woman's pussy as the are in the shape and size as a man's dick.

I will never forget the time I was at a swinging spa and got chatting with another black guy. This was well over ten years ago back when I thought I was straight lol. Anyway on the surface he couldn't have been a more perfect example of many a woman's perfect physical specimen of "the fantasy black guy". He was well over six foot good looking muscular but not too muscular for most women's tastes and judging by the shape of the towel wrapped around his waist he was blessed too.

We got chatting and before long it turned into quite a deep conversation...I sometimes have that effect on people. Long story short the poor guy was riddled with self doubt and insecurities precisely because he was such a catch superficially. He was a really nice guy and also spoke about how he is forever having to deal with insecure short guys like me who feel a need to challenge him in social situations. I felt so much empathy for the guy. Although it's the one that comes to mind I have had countless encounters with men and women in the scene and when you scratch beneath the surface without fail there is always something that crystallises that fact that we are all united by our insecurities. Once I realised that I learnt not to give a fuck about what people think if it is in any way negative to my sense of self worth.

Now don't get me wrong I'm human so I will always have my moments of weakness but they don't consume me.

So back to the myth of the BBC. There will always be size queens and there will always be husbands and boyfriends whose priority will be to witness a fat juicy black dick penetrating the love of his life. Hey I get it when with ex partners I liked it too after all I'm a massive voyeur. But for some couples it is just one of the many qualities that a couple looks for in their quest to find the perfect Bull. 

Over the years I have lost count of the number of couples, particularly cuckold couples that speak to me lamenting the fact that they just can't find a Bull that "just gets it". Yes they find it relatively easy to find someone to give the lady a decent fuck but on a cerebral level the quest to find a Bull who understand the psychology of cuckolding is more often than not a fruitless one.

I can think of a number of occasions in which there wasn't much difference in size between my cock and the cuckold and one particular cuckold whose cock was clearly bigger than mine. He is the jealous cuckold from one of my older blogs. For him part of the mind fuck was the fact that his wife was so much more sexually animated when with me in spite of his size advantage.

Interestingly I remember a conversation that I had with one of my most regular couples. When I first met them. They weren't cuckold but the husband was bi. Hi also had a massive cock. So big that when they went swinging his wife would ban him from fucking her until she had played with other guys. They said that on several occasions when they met black guy the black guy was not able to perform because the size of his dick intimidated them. I found that fact fascinating......oh and months later at a combined cuckold and bi party that I hosted. After everyone had gone home this couple stayed the night with me. Want to know what happened? ;-)

Aren't you a little short to be a Bull? Part 1 of 3

The older I get the more I try to distance myself from labels because they can sometimes be so inadequate, one dimensional and limiting. That said sometimes for the sake of clarity one is forced to either use or acknowledge them. One of the most prevalent topics of discussion that comes up again and again in the Fabswinger forums that I sometimes chat on or observe is cock size. Especially the size of black dicks.

The term BBC used to rub me up the wrong way and no that’s not just because by Bull standards my cock barely makes it into the big cock category. That’s right  I’m a black man with an “average” cock.

What?????  Yep some of you may be hearing this for the very first time. Are you sitting down? Some black men have.........average cocks.......now brace yourself there's more......some black men have small cocks.

At this point some of you may be thinking how could I possibly cuckold someone if I "only" have and average size dick. The simple flipant answer to that question would be. I don't know I just do. I've been swinging for a very long time and for many a year when chatting online the very first question people would ask me, often as a conversation opener was "how big is your BBC?" 

Over time my response transitioned from an answer, to a mental roling of my eyes, to a groan to a....well you get the picture. I basically got sick and tired being addressed so rudely. Sure ask me about my cock and what I look like but as a start of a conversation I consider it the height of disrespect.

So what did I do? I decided to nip it in the bud. The swinging profile I have on sites like Black to White and Hotwifing make it clear what size cock I have. Just as I am openly bicurious, I openly state the size of my cock too. My basic attitude is "lifes too short this is me take me as I am or don't". What effect did it have? Well a good one. The constant trickle of stupid questions asked by idiots came to a stop. Not completely but dramatically enough for it to no longer be a pain in the arse. 

Almost magically the caliber of conversation from the people approaching me improved. Conversations flowed naturally and questions asked were so much more mature in nature. Now don't get me wrong. If a woman or couple has a thing for black guys with premium sized big cocks I'm not going to hold that against them we all have a right to like what we like. After all I myself am bicurious and when I meet a bi couple as opposed to a cuckold couple its nice if the guy has a yummily weigthy cock that I can stroke or suck.

Anyway back to the main topic. As a single male in persuit of hotwives...especially hotwives that may potentially have a cuckold husband isn't the most basic of requirements to be the proud owner of a magnificently proportioned dick?

Basically

Does size matter?

The answer, MY answer is in part two of this blog.....

Once a Bull always a Bull?

So here I am beginning yet another chapter in my love life and sexual adventures. In the previous chapter I was in a deeply loving relationship with a most wonderful woman. Highly intelligent, sexy a joy to be with and a true friend. In fact we still are friends but the dynamic of us living together in a committed loving relationship ran its course. As a non-monogamous relationship, it meant we both got to indulge in some rather naughty adventures together.

As I reflect on it I’m so relieved by the fact that sexual jealousy resulting from our lifestyle was not the reason that the relationship came to an end. That for me is a source of reassurance, reassurance in that I feel yet more confident that when with the right woman it is indeed possible for me to be in a loving relationship and still have the ability to express my sexuality with persons other than my loving partner whoever that might be in the months and years to come.

However although the relationship was non-monogamous in nature compromises were made on both sides so as to ensure that feelings were not hurt. Some adaptions were easy, others over time and in retrospect were somewhat more challenging. At the time I was ok with it but there is one particular compromise that I’m not sure I will be able to make again. I may find myself eating my words at some point but right now I doubt it.

So what was that compromise? Well it was the ability to meet couples by myself. Foursomes are great fun but with the way my mind works there is something particularly and ever so wickedly pleasurable about planning to meet a couple as a single male.

I am forever drawn in by the lure of other men’s wives and girlfriends. This box was opened years ago and trying to close it again would just be an exercise in futility. Oh and just in case this is the first blog of mine that you are reading. Please be aware that I’m not one of those guys that gets a kick out of stealing people girlfriends or sleeping with married women as a danger sport. Clandestine fucks just isn’t my thing, I can most certainly understand the thrill, its just not my thrill.

The thrill for me is very particular to the fact that one way or another everyone is involved and getting something out of it. Its a three-way mind fuck that for me is intoxicatingly delicious….and addictive. I love witnessing the liberating effect on a woman when she is free to express her sexuality without judgement from the man that matters most to her in her life. As a Bull I get to be with a woman when she is at the peak of  feeling free, sexy and desired….and as a man who has been in open relationships I have a keen sense of what it feels like to be the man witnessing his loved one being fucked by another man.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m no angel so if a hot cheating wife or girlfriend were to relentlessly pursue me, theoretically wouldn’t say no but the thrill of biting into juicy forbidden fruit just wouldn’t be there…....wow as I type this and think back over the experiences that I have had with women I can’t think of a single time that I have knowingly fucked a married woman without her husband being fully aware of the fact……hmmmm interesting. 

So what’s next. Here’s me single again and pondering what path to follow, what’s my highest priority at this point. Build another special relationship with someone, try to quench my insatiable thirst for another man’s wife/girlfriend or somehow get the best of both worlds?

The latter sounds like the best fit for me right now and that’s exactly what I have been doing. Besides chatting with potential couples on FabSwingers I have also joined a rather interesting new site called Hotwifing that focuses primarily on pairing hotwife couples with single males/Bulls like me. It has a lot of potential so I am going to be keeping a close eye on it as it grows.

Perhaps in my next blog I will talk in detail about the two sexy wives that I met at an interracial swinging event a few weeks ago. Both encounters were deliciously naughty and in two very different ways. 

With one the sexual chemistry between us was so unbearably intense it was almost like self-inflicted torture. Up until that night all of my communications had been with her husband online. However all of my communications with him had been fairly abstract and I only had a vague idea of what his wife was like.

When we finally got to meet that night as soon as our eyes met there was instant chemistry which for me is quite unusual. The three of us were chatting and I just knew I had to kiss her. So I did, I’m not even sure if I asked for permission on this occasion the chemistry was that potent. There are two things that I do remember quite clearly though. I whispered two very romantic things in her ear while caressing her neck. I remember telling her that I would fuck her that night….and I also remember telling her to fuck any black guys that takes her fancy and to come to my hotel room with her husband before the night is out. I will tell you all about what happened in one of my future blogs.